What glories yet await Cory Dorris and the Golden Hurricane as Conference USA play continues? (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Tis the season for car commercials with big-ass bows and conference math. We attempted to explain, in bewildering detail, how the MAC races could shake out from here in our Wednesday night MACtion preview. We are here to inform you (with some glee, as we adore late-season chaos) that the MAC has far from the most convoluted conference race situation at the moment. Very quickly, the current states of the remaining non-AQ conference races, as teams not named Navy or BYU begin to prettify themselves for postseason suitors:

• Conference USA: Two teams with perfect 6-0 league play records top the two divisions: Central Florida in the East and Tulsa in the West. After Saturday, one squad’s record will bear some blemish when the two clash in Tulsa, but don’t expect that to affect the race. The Knights have only UAB to clear after that in the regular season, and hold a head-to-head advantage over East Carolina, the only other team in the division with fewer than three conference losses. Tulsa’s championship game aspirations could still be spoiled with a loss tonight and another at SMU November 24, assuming the Mustangs (4-2 in league play) beat Rice in the meantime.

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Stephen Morris and Miami crushed Virginia Tech Thursday night to stay ahead in the ACC Coastal Division race. (Joel Auerbach/Getty Images)

• Miami 30, Virginia Tech 12. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: An ibis and a turkey walk into the bar, and the bartender says: “Wait, so Virginia Tech can’t even hang on special teams anymore?” Logan Thomas threw for 199 yards and rushed for 124 more, including a 73-yard touchdown run early in the second quarter. No other Hokie entered the end zone last night, or managed a score of any kind in the entire second half. The specter of an all-Florida ACC championship game looms, unless Duke gets its way. And isn’t the possibility of Duke getting its way one of the more purely delightful things about this season? [RECAP | BOX]

• Ohio 45, Eastern Michigan 14. Congratulations to the Bobcats for their best win over a one-win team all season. Derrius Vick is as surprised as we are. [RECAP | BOX]

• Middle Tennessee State 34, Western Kentucky 29. The Blue Raiders and Hilltoppers hit the locker rooms at halftime tied 17-17, and traded scores throughout the final two quarters. MTSU scored the final touchdown, but WKU went down swinging with a safety-producing stop of Logan Kilgore in the final five seconds. [RECAP | BOX]

• Sandusky case update. Former Penn State president Graham Spanier was formally charged Thursday with perjury, obstruction, endangering the welfare of children, failure to properly report suspected abuse and conspiracy relating to his handling of the Jerry Sandusky case. Additional charges were also filed against Tim Curley and Gary Schultz. SI’s Michael Rosenberg has more.

• BIG OL’ BREAKING NEWS. BCS bowls would consider inviting a two-loss Notre Dame team? WELL, I NEVER.

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If he’s as good at passing as he is at pointing, Tyler Tettleton could move into second place in all-time career passing yards at Ohio Thursday night. (AP)

Your Thursday night television viewing schedule is cluttered with college football this week. You must have so many questions. We’re here to help. 

Eastern Michigan at Ohio

• What information do I, the discerning consumer, require in order to consume this game? The Eagles and Bobcats are scheduled to kick off in Peden Stadium at 6 p.m. ET. The game will be televised on ESPNU and streamed on WatchESPN.

• So this will be a joyless romp, right? The Bobcats should be playing angry after losing to Miami (Ohio) for the first time since 2005 and being knocked out of contention for a major bowl, right? We’re not so sure. This might be a joyless non-romp, if the previous month or so is any indication. Every FBS team the Bobcats have played since Week 2′s rout of New Mexico State has given them fits. Eastern Michigan is a 1-7 team (albeit one that we at one point called the best 0-6 team in America) playing an Ohio program that’s gone from gunning for an undefeated season to not even necessarily being favored to win its own division. And again, on paper this should be an easy win for Frank Solich and Friends. Eastern hasn’t beaten Ohio since 1999, and it hasn’t beaten the Bobcats in Athens since 1994. But just look how the Bobcats played UMass, Buffalo and Akron with a potential BCS bowl bid on the line. Watching this game with interest: Kent State, which holds an identical 7-1 overall record, is currently undefeated in conference play and gets the Bobcats at home to close out the regular season.

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Michigan State’s Mark Dantonio can get WAY grouchier than this. You’ll see. (AP)

Your oddly specific Saturday viewing guide. For more football-centric preview content, check out Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

• Most locally sourced farm-to-fan football. In-state rivalries abound in Week 8, for those of you keeping vigilant watches on your carbon footprints. Saturday’s sustainably-grown grudge matches include No. 22 Stanford at Cal (3 p.m. ET), Michigan State at No. 23 Michigan (3:30 p.m.) and No. 12 Florida State at Miami (8 p.m.).

• Worst idea for a noon kickoff in recorded human history. Or maybe “best idea in terms of public safety,” but we’re still calling an 11 a.m. CT kickoff for LSU at Texas A&M the worst kind of cowardice. Who wants to live forever?

• Saddest ball of football sadness. Army (1-5) at Eastern Michigan (0-6), the latter of which we really did call “the country’s best winless team” on the Mandel Initiative podcast earlier this week. We meant every word of that. (HONORABLE MENTIONS: Boston College, already with a loss to this Army team, has to play a Georgia Tech team that’s already lost to Middle Tennessee State; and FAU-South Alabama, which will play in the One Of You is Getting Off The Floor Of The Sun Belt Whether You Want To Or Not Classic.)

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• Catlab. For the moments of your lives. Frank Solich and Rufus star in a Wednesday dance break that could only have come from catlab.

• Devon Walker update. And now for something completely serious: a hello from Walker himself. ”Thank you everyone for your prayers and well-wishes. This has been so hard on my family and friends. I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for your generosity and support. I especially want to thank everyone who sent cards and letters. I read each and every one. They give me the inspiration to keep on pushing. Your words of encouragement are helping me so much. Thank you also to those who organize, attend and contribute in countless ways to the many fundraisers being held in my honor. I am truly blessed. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. — Love You All, Devon Walker #18″

More from Walker and his family here.

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• Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them. Are we ever so happy as when another school comes out with a football-themed rap video? We really think not:

The best part of this particular contribution to the field of college football-themed music videos is that it’s school-sanctioned, and cannot therefore be written off as the actions of a mere fringe group. We like to think the bewildered-looking girl functions as a kind of silent Greek chorus here. We’re right with you, honey.

• Western Kentucky 31, Troy 26. The Hilltoppers remain undefeated in conference play in a deep Sun Belt, along with the Warhawks and Ragin’ Cajuns. [BOX | RECAP]

• Tulsa 33, UTEP 11. Filed under “Thing UTEP Did This Week:” Achieved the elusive scoreboard elevener! [BOX | RECAP]

• Arizona State 51, Colorado 17. A 17-point second quarter for the Buffs had us feeling pretty bad about our predicted Sun Devils blowout win. That feeling did not last too long. [BOX | RECAP]

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The Hilltoppers rightfully expect big plays from Jonathan Dowling, who has pulled in four interceptions in 2012. (AP)

Finally, that blessed time of year where Thursdays fill up with college football. We’re sure you have so many questions. And we’re here to help, sort of. Kickoff times and TV listings for tonight’s action are as follows:

Western Kentucky @ Troy

• What information do I, the discerning consumer, require in order to consume this game? The Hilltoppers and Trojans kick off at 7:30 p.m. ET. The game will be televised on ESPNU and streamed on WatchESPN.

• What am I watching for here? WKU should be able to run the ball with some ease, but we’re really looking forward to seeing the Hilltoppers’ defense, particularly Jonathan Dowling, who has hauled in four interceptions in four games played. He’ll go up against Corey Robinson and Troy’s prolific passing attack.

• What’s at stake? With a win, the Hilltoppers remain undefeated in conference play and at the top of the Sun Belt standings with the Warhawks and Ragin’ Cajuns.

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Logan Kilgore and the Middle Tennessee State offense racked up 510 yards of offense in a win at Georgia Tech. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

You see, they are called the “Sun Belt” teams because they are just out there belting people. See. That the Sun Belt would field four teams to be reckoned with in 2012 was a reasonable preseason estimate of ours, we think. What we didn’t expect was that two of those teams would be Louisiana-Monroe and Middle Tennessee State rather than Florida International and Arkansas State. Mario Cristobal’s Golden Panthers fell to 1-4 after a 48-20 loss to Louisiana Saturday; perhaps this is his way of telegraphing just how much he wants people to start bothering him with potential job openings in power conferences. We saw the Panthers, on paper, as the likely top contender for conference championship honors; right now, as deep as the Sun Belt is rolling, FIU will be lucky to finish in its top half.

But let’s focus on the good stuff, which you already know if you’re bothering to read this, but which we can’t stand not to repeat: Middle Tennessee, which opened the season with a six-point loss to an FCS team, just racked up 510 yards and 49 points against Georgia Tech, at Georgia Tech. Tee-hee! The Blue Raiders’ weapon of choice: junior running back Benny Cunningham, who carried the ball 27 times for a grand total of 217 yards and five touchdowns. MTSU’s defense sacked Tevin Washington four times. Paul Johnson must’ve eaten a quarry’s worth of gravel just to make it through a single film session.

“Our guys know what they’re getting into at Middle. These guys have played against them the last couple of years. This is a good conference,” said Louisiana-Monroe coach Todd Berry after Saturday’s win over Tulane. A popular sentiment heading into 2012, re: the Sun Belt, to be sure. But did you ever think these two outfits would be this thickly in the mix? Week 6′s Warhawks-Blue Raiders tilt is looking like appointment television about now.

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We know, David Ash. We can’t wait for Texas’ Week 6 game against West Virginia, either. (AP)

Snap Judgments from the Week 5 evening slate. For more coverage, check out midday Snaps and early Snaps, Holly Anderson’s coverage of Baylor-West Virginia, Andy Staples’ coverage of Ohio State-Michigan State, Stewart Mandel’s coverage of Stanford-Washington and our complete Top 25 review.

• No. 12 Texas 41, Oklahoma State 36: It may be impossible, even for devoted students of hyperbole such as ourselves, to demonstrate how much we’re looking forward to next week’s Texas-West Virginia game. Texas quarterback David Ash is going to draw statistical comparisons, over the course of this week, to Geno Smith, comparisons in which he will fall short in a numerical sense, even having faced a Cowboys’ defense that was missing several key components.

But for those of you who study the delicate science of clutchology, witness the Longhorns’ final scoring drive in Stillwater tonight, in which Ash hit D.J. Grant with a pass that resulted in a 29-yard gain, a pass caught so quickly it looked like a flicker in the cable feed on our crummy hotel television, and then less than a minute later connected with Mike Davis over the top of a Cowboys defender for 32 yards more. OUR NOTES ARE ALL IN CAPS AT THIS POINT, PROBABLY BECAUSE GUS JOHNSON WAS CALLING THIS GAME, BUT ALSO BECAUSE BOTH OF THESE PLAYS WERE REALLY NEAT.

Two plays later, Joe Bergeron tried to punch in a touchdown from two yards out and, depending on which shade of orange you prefer, either scored heroically or fumbled the ball and was handed a score by an inept set of officials. (On our subpar viewing monitor, it didn’t look like a score, but we weren’t there. What we do know is that we agree with our colleague Andy Staples that this was one of those games that just begged for ref suspensions. Bad calls went to both sides.)

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Robbie ‘Mighty Mouse’ Rouse, out for a leisurely stroll against one of the worst football teams in human memory. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Soooo remember last week, when we were all “Robbie Rouse is 79 yards away from becoming Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, isn’t that swell?” We all know by now what happened next. So while we’ve got Mighty Mouse up on a pedestal, let’s put some of his teammates up there with him.

Video game football doesn’t begin to cover what Fresno State did to Colorado in Week 3; this was more akin to watching a cartoon. Were you aware … 

•  Rouse’s 94-yard touchdown run, the one that made him Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, wasn’t even the Bulldogs’ longest scoring play of the game? On Fresno State’s prior possession, Derek Carr and Isaiah Burse combined for a 97-yard pitch-and-catch touchdown run.

•  Carr recorded his 300 passing yards and five touchdowns all in the first half?

•  Fresno State’s defense recorded four interceptions and four sacks?

•  Safety Phillip Thomas was responsible for three of those interceptions, two of which he returned for touchdowns?

•  Even the Bulldogs’ punter, Andrew Shapiro, got in on the rout with a career-long 69-yard punt? 

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