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Week 1 Laff Riot: Crimson Tide carcharhiniformes

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Tracking the zeitgeist through college football’s opening weekend.

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  • Published On Sep 02, 2012
  • ACC Media Days 2012 diary: Day 2

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    Dabo Swinney’s nonchalant dismissal of Clemson’s doubters was one of the highlights of ACC Media Days. (AP)

    Join us as we continue our float down the lazy river of ACC Media Days, won’t you? Your prize for the journey: Tidbits from all 12 conference coaches. Here are highlights from our Monday interview circuit:

    Frank Beamer gave the most Virginia Tech quote in human history. “I think we got a couple freshmen coming in that’s gonna get a great opportunity to punt for us,” he said.

    Time for some forced perspective. It should make a statement that despite all the fresh “OOOH SCANDAL” news out of Miami, the first question posed to Al Golden was about Penn State. And though Golden obviously wasn’t about to comment on an in-progress investigation with the Hurricanes, he offered this much on the latest allegations: ”I was disappointed in the article Friday, first and foremost how it attacked my integrity, both personally and professionally. I stand by my statement, I’ll continue to do so, there will be a day when I can refute that or discuss that and I look forward to that day. Now is not the time to do that.”

    Later, tangentially, he came back to the topic: “Anybody can tell you, you can have all the facilities in the world, but if you don’t have a culture where kids feel loved and respected and feel like they’re being developed on and off the field on a daily basis, that’s gonna resonate with the recruits. They’re gonna know that. They’re gonna find that out. … And that’s stronger than any article that can be printed.”

    Dabo throws shade upon you all. Dabo Swinney entered his Media Days interview without knowing that the Tigers had been picked to finish second in their division. He didn’t care much. ”I’ve been the head coach for three years, and I don’t think we’ve been picked to win the division, much less the conference,” Swinney said. “And we’ve won the division twice.”

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  • Published On Jul 24, 2012
  • ACC Media Days 2012 diary

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    Coaches Jim Grobe, Tom O’Brien, Randy Edsall, Jimbo Fisher, Dabo Swinney, Frank Spaziani, David Cutcliffe, Paul Johnson, Al Golden, Larry Fedora, Mike London and Frank Beamer set the example of playing nicely. (AP)

    GREENSBORO, N.C. — A peace summit broke out at ACC Media Days Sunday, before the onslaught of player interviews had even begun properly. Remember the last time Georgia Tech linebacker Jeremiah Attaochu and Virginia Tech quarterback Logan Thomas met? We do, because we were there:

    The game turned on the Hokies’ final possession of the third quarter. Following three consecutive scores that turned a 21-13 Jackets deficit into a 26-21 lead, Virginia Tech was faced with third-and-19, but as Georgia Tech defenders swarmed past neutral territory for the second play in a row, linebacker Jeremiah Attaochu saw fit to direct a punch straight at Thomas’ helmet. A fresh set of downs was awarded, and two plays later Wilson had gone 49 yards down the field on his own two feet. [...] Thomas, displaying great ability to trip lightly over burly obstacles placed in his path, capped the drive himself with a 12-yard touchdown run, and the Hokies regained a lead they would not surrender again.

    So you might be surprised to see this:

    According to the Roanoke Times, the two settled their differences amicably following last year’s game.

    Other assorted highlights from our visits with the ACC’s student-athlete representatives:

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  • Published On Jul 23, 2012
  • Weekend Whimsy: We see what you did there

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    Lovingly curated bits of light reading to speed you through to the weekend:

    A hit, a palpable Hokie hit. Boston College blog BC Interruption goes logo-trolling, with splendid results.

    • Jock exams. Andy Staples takes the NCAA rules test, discovering that “An institution may send an institutional postcard, provided its dimensions do not exceed 4 1/4 by 6 inches, it includes only the institution’s name and logo or an athletics logo on one side when produced and it includes only handwritten information, (e.g., words, illustrations) on the opposite side when provided to the recipients,” and maybe learning a little something about life along the way. [banjo twang]

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  • Published On May 25, 2012
  • And, of course, world peace

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    Unlike baseball, college football is actually supposed to have an opening weekend. (REUTERS)

    All this chirping about based ball’s Opening “Day” just makes us pine for five months from now, when college football will accomplish in five days what baseball crams into nine or so. Is it too early to start making out our Week 1 mayhem wish list? Probably!

    Thursday, August 30

    • South Carolina @ Vanderbilt. James Franklin taunts Jadeveon Clowney after the Commodores pull off a late go-ahead touchdown, and the ensuing fracas manages to convince SEC officials to suspend the South Carolina stalwart. Seeking revenge, Steve Spurrier departs Nashville with five or six of Franklin’s scholarship quarterbacks, to feather his depth-chart-fiddlin’ nest back in Columbia. No one is truly satisfied, but no lessons are learned.

    • Minnesota @ UNLV. TCF Bank revokes Golden Gophers’ stadium sponsorship after team refuses to pay $5,000 in ATM fees following return from Vegas.

    • UCF @ Akron. Zips win, and Terry Bowden gets free jousting privileges at all Medieval Times locations for life.

    • UMass @ UConn. In their FBS debut, the Minutemen rout the Huskies, relegating Connecticut to the MAC by a previously unnoticed realignment provision. All involved parties agree this is probably in everyone’s best interest.

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  • Published On Apr 05, 2012
  • FAQ: Music City Bowl

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    Commemorate Wake Forest's break-even season with this official bowl T-shirt. (musiccitybowlmerchandise.com)

    The 2011 Music City Bowl is just days away. We’re sure you have so many questions. We’re here to help. (For an Xs and Os breakdown, check out Bette Marston’s game preview.)

     Where will this game be played? Nashville’s LP Field, home field for Titans and Tennessee State games.

    When is it on television? Kickoff is scheduled for 6:40 p.m. ET on Friday, December 30. The game will be televised on ESPN.

    Whom does it feature? The ACC and SEC provide the tie-in teams.

    What about this year? First ESS EEE CEE game of the postseason, PAAAOWL! Mississippi State and Wake Forest will converge on the Cumberland.

    Who will call the game? Reserve some postseason sympathy for Mark Jones, Ed Cunningham and Jeannine Edwards.

    Who sponsors the game? Franklin American Mortgage, which took over for Gaylord Hotels last season.

    So this game could theoretically be nicknamed the “Mortgage Music City Bowl”? If you like.

    Man, I’d like to mortgage Music City. I’m not sure what that means.

    No, like in Monopoly. I’d like to flip it over to pay for a railroad or something, and I can’t collect rent but in exchange I never have to hear another Taylor Swift song again, and neither does anybody else. Understood.

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  • Published On Dec 28, 2011
  • Early Snaps: Decided phlegmatic advantage

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    Freshman star Sammy Watkins amassed 95 all-purpose yards before leaving with an upper-body injury. (AP)

    Snap Judgments from the Week 11 early shift. For swing Snaps, click here. For late Snaps, click hereFor Andy Staples’ account from Penn State, click here. For a recap of all the Top 25 action click here, and for highlights from SI.comclick here

     No. 9 Clemson 31, Wake Forest 28: Kicker Chandler Catanzaro was the savior of the game and the clincher of the ACC Atlantic Division title for the Tigers, but he came perilously close to being the goat. Tied at 28-all with less than two minutes remaining in the game, the well-regarded Catanzaro missed a 30-yard field goal attempt. Quarterback Tanner Price got Wake out of its own red zone with an 18-yard pass to Cameron Ford, but his next two attempts fell incomplete, and after taking a sack on third down the Deacs relinquished control. Clemson’s Tajh Boyd was more precise in his targeting, and with seven seconds remaining, the Tigers were back in kicking range, if only just. Back came Catanzaro, with a 43-yarder that sailed true.

    It’s just one of those years, isn’t it? One of those years where Jim Grobe puts together a Demon Deacons team good for a few scares and almost nobody realizes it until it’s nearly too late. Wake beat Florida State, played Notre Dame too close for comfort, and very nearly cost Clemson its Top 10 ranking today.

    The Tigers were mauled by the rushing efforts of Brandon Pendergrass, who finished with 134 yards on 20 carries and two touchdowns. Considering the next-closest runner was Price himself with nine yards on nine carries, you can’t argue the the Tigers didn’t know where the ball was going. Boyd hauled them out of trouble but was vulnerable in the air, throwing two interceptions in a high-yardage outing. Of more immediate concern: The status of freshman phenom Sammy Watkins, who left the game after recording just 95 all-purpose yards with an undisclosed upper-body injury. [RECAP | BOX]

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  • Published On Nov 12, 2011
  • Snaps The Last: ‘Pokes prefer pistols at dusk

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    Justin Blackmon and Oklahoma State will likely move to No. 2 in the BCS standings after improving to 9-0. (AP)

    Snap judgments from the Week 10 late shift. For swing shift Snaps, click here. For early shift Snaps, click here. For a review of the Top 25 action, click here. For game highlights from SI.com, click here.

     No. 3 Oklahoma State 52, No. 17 Kansas State 45: It’s a low-hanging fruit of a plotline to grab at, but it’s too perfect to ignore in good conscience: In Week 10, for those who stayed up late enough, college football peddled wares for every taste. While the top two teams in the country traded body blows in four quarters and an extra frame of siege warfare, the No. 3 squad weathered a shootout to remain undefeated and in the thick of the national title hunt. Even the gods of sport got in on this one, causing what might have been the biggest earthquake recorded in state history just after the game wrapped. (Kirk Herbstreit, by the way? Not amused. They’re calling this a 5.6, and I’ve only ever been in a 5.5, and let me tell you, I can’t blame him for going Madame Alexander for a minute there.)

    Brandon Weeden having a personal-best day is a real treat, if you’re into scads of points, and a sparklier sight than most other quarterbacks’ successful outings; his 502 yards were not only a career high, but set a Cowboys program record. His biggest beneficiary was, of course, Justin Blackmon, who caught 205 yards’ worth of advancement and two of Weeden’s four scoring passes. The other two landed in the arms of Tracy Moore and Joseph Randle, who tacked on two rushing touchdowns at crucial moments, including the game-winner.

    We can’t let the night pass without a nod to Collin Klein, who bested his personal passing and rushing highs for the season with 377 all-purpose yards and four touchdowns. K-State’s passing game broke down completely in the game’s final minute, however, just past midfield. A 22-yard connection put the Cats at OSU’s five-yard line with 25 seconds remaining, but Klein’s last three heaves of the game were for naught. Kansas State might fall out of the Top 25 for this one, and right now, that feels monstrously unfair. [RECAP | BOX]

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  • Published On Nov 06, 2011
  • Saturday Storylines: Top-secret top 10 game

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    Tyler Wilson and No. 7 Arkansas have scored at least 29 points in all but one game. (US PRESSWIRE)

    It came as something of a shock to learn there are games being played this weekend other than LSU-Alabama. Just about every other able-bodied analyst at SI.com has already weighed in on Tigers vs. Tide, so I’m going to leave you in Andy Staples’ capable hands for talk of Tuscaloosa and focus on the rest of Week 10 below. To start, there’s another top 10 SEC showdown in the offing. Did you know?

    Necessary events

    No. 10 South Carolina @ No. 8 Arkansas: This feels like an overrated spot for the Gamecocks at this point in the slog to Atlanta, even given their ferocious defense. End Melvin Ingram is good television, and the unit ranks sixth nationally in yards allowed, but the Gamecocks are not going to beat Arkansas quarterback Tyler Wilson on every possession. Alabama was the only team capable of holding the 7-1 Razorbacks in check on offense this entire season, and Arkansas has scored more than 29 points every other week. Scoring enough to keep up with Wilson, Jarius Wright and Joe Adams is going to be a real concern.

    This is all assuming the Arkansas team we think we know is the one that shows up, of course. The Hogs experienced nail-biting scrapes against Vanderbilt last week and Ole Miss the week before, and because the games came on back-to-back weeks it’s hard to tell whether both were cases of playing down to competition (understandable, if not excusable) or some actual systemic meltdown. Needing a fumble return to beat Vanderbilt, even shiny new swaggery Vanderbilt, would bode ill for most teams in this season’s SEC, but it bodes particularly ill for a team carrying a top 10 ranking and harboring visions of a prestigious January bowl game.

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  • Published On Nov 04, 2011


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