By Zac Ellis

The Campus Union party just got a little more crowded. I’m happy to announce that I’ll be joining the great Holly Anderson as co-author of this blog. I’ll be chiming in with my thoughts on the latest college football happenings, and you can reach me via Twitter (@ZacEllis) for my take on breaking news, the Heisman race and more. There’s plenty of fun to be had in this space, and I’m excited to take part. Here’s hoping Holly doesn’t get too tired of me!

Robbie ‘Mighty Mouse’ Rouse, out for a leisurely stroll against one of the worst football teams in human memory. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Soooo remember last week, when we were all “Robbie Rouse is 79 yards away from becoming Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, isn’t that swell?” We all know by now what happened next. So while we’ve got Mighty Mouse up on a pedestal, let’s put some of his teammates up there with him.

Video game football doesn’t begin to cover what Fresno State did to Colorado in Week 3; this was more akin to watching a cartoon. Were you aware … 

•  Rouse’s 94-yard touchdown run, the one that made him Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, wasn’t even the Bulldogs’ longest scoring play of the game? On Fresno State’s prior possession, Derek Carr and Isaiah Burse combined for a 97-yard pitch-and-catch touchdown run.

•  Carr recorded his 300 passing yards and five touchdowns all in the first half?

•  Fresno State’s defense recorded four interceptions and four sacks?

•  Safety Phillip Thomas was responsible for three of those interceptions, two of which he returned for touchdowns?

•  Even the Bulldogs’ punter, Andrew Shapiro, got in on the rout with a career-long 69-yard punt? 

Read More…

Quarterback West Lunt left high school early to enroll at Oklahoma State in January and compete this spring. (US PRESSWIRE)

Gentle readers, remember how Brandon Weeden was a few years older than the typical starting college quarterback? His successor is a little bit younger! Won’t that make for lots and lots of neat jokes? Wes Lunt, a 6-foot-5 pro-style early enrollee out of Rochester, Illinois, was named Oklahoma State’s 2012 starter today by the Pokes. Mike Gundy, in a school release, took the “whoever scores the most points wins the game, Sherlock” approach to explaining his choice:

“We had to make a decision based on what we thought was best for our offense to score points and then give us the best chance to win football games. All three players had good springs, but at some point, the decision is made on the field. There’s always a comment about who coaches are going to name as the starter at any position, but the coaches usually don’t make that decision — the decision is made by the players. Wes performed better than the other two quarterbacks in the spring.”

We’ll be hearing a lot about Oklahoma State’s draft-depleted offense this fall, which also means hearing from Todd Monken more often than we are perhaps used to, and boy howdy, won’t that be a fun time for everybody. From David Ubben, here’s Monken ruminating per-decision:

Read More…

We will keep posting these as long as Delta State keeps making them, because plush vegetables attacking humans is never unfunny, irrelevant or unnecessary. If you think this is unfair, consider that your school does not have a fresh produce-based mascot, and what you can do to change that.

Schnellenberger is just fantastic. Love that man. (bottom left) #POTUSFAU twitter.com/KLV760/status/…

— Ken LaVicka (@KLV760) April 10, 2012

Howard Schnellenberger snapping some Presidential memories via iPhone will birth one of the biggest photo memes of the 2012 preseason, we have a feeling. Campus Union proudly presents Schnelly Through Time, a trip with college football’s Sultan of Suspenders through history and American culture.

Read More…

This adorable video of Navy players (AND KEN NIUMATALOLO) dancing their way through warmups dovetails nicely with an absolutely stellar photo find by Andy Gray:

Navy mascot Billy XXVI (a goat) is given a makeover by the team’s cheerleaders: twitter.com/si_vault/statu…

— Andy Gray (@si_vault) April 9, 2012

Carbon-dating on those bangs and products makes this photo at least a couple decades old, but Billy’s sense of style, as always, is timeless.

South Alabama assistant coach Kurt Crain died at age 47. (Courtesy of University of South Alabama)

The South Alabama Jaguars have lost a coach and Auburn has lost a legend: Former Tigers All-American linebacker and USA assistant Kurt Crain died Tuesday at his home at the age of 47, according to a school release. The university says only that “foul play is not suspected,” but Al.com reported the cause of death last night as a “self-inflicted gunshot wound.”

Crain had been part of the South Alabama football staff since 2008, a tenure during which he coached linebackers and served as associate head coach.

USA head coach Joey Jones spoke glowingly of Crain in a released statement: “In my opinion, Kurt was one of the best overall coaches I’ve ever seen.  He cared about the players, they respected him greatly and he was a tremendous football coach and motivator.  I think about what a great man and what a great teacher he was for these young men.”

Auburn blog The War Eagle Reader has a simple, moving remembrance: “When I think of Auburn linebackers I think of Kurt Crain. When I think of Auburn people I think of Kurt Crain. I think of Kurt Crain. Kurt Crain died yesterday. I really, really wish he hadn’t.”

Our sincere condolences and best wishes to the Auburn and South Alabama football communities.

Bobby Petrino's firing at Arkansas has sparked a number of additional storylines. (US Presswire)

Wrapping up what few threads can be wrapped up concerning the recent unpleasant circumstances in Fayetteville.

• Let’s all just try to get through this without an Anchorman joke. The Bobby Petrino era has been sunsetted by AD Jeff Long, who’s drawing rave reviews for his decisive handling of an impossible situation. Petrino’s prepared statement is here, and if you’re wondering when the proper time would be “to debate Jeff’s view of what happened,” well, so are we all. Petrino’s name and likeness have already been scrubbed from the athletic department web site (curious sidebar: guess who hasn’t).

• Field guide to those deserving your sympathy. Arkansas players reeling at the news. Petrino’s family. And Jessica Dorrell’s fiance, who’s apparently on the job hunt.

• What’s next?  Lawsuits, maybe, from the 158 applicants who didn’t get Jessica Dorrell’s job. A land race for Razorback recruits. But in the first piece of good news to break Arkansas’ way this week, Tyler Wilson reportedly intends to stay in Fayetteville.

• Who’s next? Mandel addresses this at length, if you want to read some serious words. Will the Hawgs write off 2012 and settle in with an interim coach? Or will they go blazing after a big hire to take advantage of their seasoned offensive personnel while they still can? Saying they’ll have to move fast is so blisteringly obvious that it’s even beneath the talking heads who gravely intoned last night that this could adversely affect recruiting. Favorite son John Daly breaks the seal on the regularly-scheduled Gruden rumormongering, but if you want our opinion (AND WE KNOW YOU DO), there’s only one man for the job.

• And now, the jokes. In a lightning-fast turnaround for all parties, the Hawgpanky circumstances have already received the Taiwanese animation treatment, been immortalized by LSUFreek, and been addressed in The Onion. SEC speed!

Some light reading from the past week to speed you through your Friday:

May we all live our lives with enough gusto and excitement so that this may someday be truly said of us. “Attorneys produced a paper trail from (AD Mike) Holder’s emails with him writing once that if [a plan to raise $350 million by purchasing life insurance policies on about two dozen boosters]  wasn’t done soon as (booster T. Boone) Pickens wanted, ‘I will be in a cave with Bin Laden.’” Chill fundraiser idea, Oklahoma State.

Matt Barkley’s Twitter has unknowable powers. Buried in this excellent read is a snippet that sort of makes us love Matt Barkley, who gets the internet better than maybe any other college athlete we’ve seen:

Exactly 116 people “Liked” the keyboard photo.

Barkley: “It was a great photo. One half was in focus. The other half was blurred.”

Holmes: “I knew immediately he just did that to see how many friggin’ ‘Likes’ he could get. This guy.”

Barkley: “It was a great picture.”

You’ll always remember this week as your first warning that Larry Scott’s Skynet has gained sentience. “Leaders of the Pac-12 Conference agreed in principle Saturday to try to end college football’s Bowl Championship Series, proposing its replacement with a playoff system that would allow only conference winners to play for college football’s national title.” It’s progress of a sort, but Stewart Mandel warns against the conference champ rule.

Remains large and killy. Barrett Jones is moving from left tackle to center for the Crimson Tide. Andy Staples and ourselves will continue to relentlessly campaign for his inclusion among Heisman finalists.

Mike Leach’s eyebrow game is strong. Wazzu has a trailer out for their spring game.

#YoDawg Stats. Bill Connelly adjusts the Adjusted Turnover Margin.

This week in important science. Just how loud could you build a stadium?

Your weekly catlab. Holgo hair in spaaaaace!

That’ll do it for us. Everybody have a great weekend, and to all our brothers and sisters in PR, make sure you keep sending us those pitches about your kooky bracketology. You can tell from the banner at the top of this page that we totally love basketball, and while we have never covered it as long as this blog has existed, for you we will surely make an exception. 

Halt! Where you going with those folding chairs? (Gary Rothstein/Icon SMI)

We don’t usually address events surrounding college players who are preparing for the pros. That’s traditionally kept for our fine draftniks and NFL-covering brethren. But, you know, it’s just not every day that you hear about three people being stopped by police while leaving Miami’s Pro Day with stolen university-branded folding chairs in the trunk of a car. From a Coral Gables police report:

Mr. John Routh, an employee of the University of Miami, observed the Subjects [...] taking University of Miami property (2 Green padded University of Miami folding football chairs) from the rear of the Hecht Athletic Center, and placing the property in the trunk of a Red/Maroon Nissan Altima. [...] Mr. Routh called the University of Miami Police and I responded, intercepting the vehicle as it left the parking lot with the chairs in the trunk.

The three people in the vehicle went on to tell police that they thought the chairs were there to take away, an account Routh disputed, according to the report. Routh, you might recall, served as Sebastian during one of the costumed mascot’s more adventurous periods. Sebastian turned snitch. Did you ever think you’d live to see the day? Read More…