Ex-LSU star Tyrann Mathieu is projected as a mid-round 2013 NFL draft pick. (Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

By Zac Ellis

Ex-LSU star Tyrann Mathieu, formerly known as the “Honey Badger,” might have gotten away with more than people thought during his days in Baton Rouge. According to USA Today, Mathieu told one NFL team during a pre-draft interview that the number of drug tests he failed at LSU went into double digits.

According to an assistant coach for the team, Mathieu responded: “I quit counting at 10. I really don’t know.”

The NFL assistant coach explained that not all the blame should fall on Mathieu, though. He holds LSU responsible for enabling one of its star players.

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• Louisville 20, Rutgers 17. We’ll let SI.com’s Gabriel Baumgaertner tell y’all all about the antics of Teddy Bridgewater, but don’t go away without watching him let it all out postgame with offensive coordinator Shawn Watson. Bridgewater led the Cardinals to a primetime win, on the road, against the country’s fourth-ranked scoring defense. And then this happened:

How Bridgewater is even remaining upright at this point is anybody’s guess, but up he his, and no matter your particular partisanship, you must applaud. Have you a pulse? You will be moved. But don’t take our word for it. Listen to his teammates. Here’s Louisville offensive lineman Alex Kupper, after the game: “His legacy at the University of Louisville keeps building and building, and he’s only halfway through. He’s just an unbelievable player, the way he fights. When you’re playing next to him, if you do anything less, it’s shame on you.”

Rutgers still gets a share of the Big East title, and Cincinnati could force a four-way tie atop the conference standings with a win over UConn, but take it from Louisville safety Calvin Pryor, as the Cardinals mull their postseason possibilities: ”Whatever it is is better than going to the Belk Bowl!” [BOX | RECAP]

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This is a 1-pound, half ground beef, half ground bacon burger topped with bacon, peanut butter and jelly. No words. twitter.com/Andy_Staples/s…

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) October 3, 2012

Staples, doing the good work.

• Next food news update of vital importance. None other than the Wall Street Journal measures SEC stadiums’ proximity to Waffle Houses, even going so far as to state a measurement in sausage links. We have never felt closer to the WSJ than we do right now.

• Will the Honey Badger return to LSU? A resounding “maybe!” from the Times-Picayune.

• Welp. “According to a study published in the October issue of American Economic Journal: Applied Economics, male non-athletes were more likely than females to increase their alcohol consumption and partying, and decrease their study time, in response to the success of the team.” [Via.]

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You know, 96 passing yards is 96 too many, amirite, PJ? May we call you PJ? (AP)

• No. 16 Virginia Tech 20, Georgia Tech 17 (OT). Andy Staples took in the final game of opening weekend last night in Blacksburg, and we’re glad he was there, because without him we’re not sure we could picture Tevin Washington doing all this:

Washington, who averaged only 11.5 pass attempts a game in 2011 running Johnson’s triple option, suddenly turned into Joe Montana at the end of the Yellow Jackets’ final drive in regulation. Georgia Tech’s offense wasn’t even supposed to be on the field, but Johnson had an epiphany borne of frustration as the Yellow Jackets — down 14-10 — faced fourth-and-6 from the Virginia Tech 37 with 3:03 remaining in regulation. Johnson had planned to punt and try to pin the Hokies inside the 10. Given Virginia Tech’s limited offensive success to that point, it seemed a sound plan. Then Johnson scrapped it. [...] So Johnson called timeout, gathered his offense and called a play. Washington, who had completed seven of 11 pass attempts at that point, scrambled around and found B.J. Bostic for a 19-yard gain. Three plays later, Washington found a wide-open Deon Hill for a 10-yard touchdown.

Paul Johnson may have called those passes himself, but rest assured he does not approve, and probably blames putting the ball in the heathen air for the Jackets’ loss.

• Before and after. Favorite pre- and postgame reactions, from our own producer and GT’s assistant AD:

These Georgia Tech unis give new meaning to ‘Hivemind, activate!’

— Mallory Rubin (@MalloryRubin) September 3, 2012

A #GaTech fan e-mailed insisting we protest loss to VT . Why? VT kicker didn’t have mouthpiece in for winning kick. I’ll get right on that.

— Dean Buchan (@DeanBuchan) September 4, 2012

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Get well soon, Idaho football. The world is more interesting with you in it. (AP)

• In our dreams, this means they won’t be able to afford to fire Robb Akey, ever, and he and his magnificent moustache can coach in windswept Moscow forever. It probably won’t work out like that, but we had to look for some upside to Idaho going independent in football, didn’t we?

• Monteé Ball was still not in that fight. Bret Bielema is sorry to disappoint any Monteé Ball haters out there, but says that two other non-Monteé Ball players were involved in the scuffle that reportedly led to Ball being assaulted earlier this month, but that Monteé Ball himself was not. Monteé Ball. (We’re just doing some reps here to remember to type his name the new way.)

• From the “Things we never really expected to read” department: A Securities and Exchange Commission press release announcing fraud charges against Jim Donnan. Anybody else mistakenly think Barry Switzer would’ve been wilier than this?

• Florida State is back! No, for real this time! NO. FOR REAL. MAYBE?

• Sunrise, sunset. Another Rose Bowl. Yawn. Oregon ticket sales slumping is way sadder to us than Minnesota ticket sales flailing, for some reason. We have only been to Autzen twice, but feel very strongly that whatever happens there should be watched by as many people as possible for as long as it exists. (Also, DUCK ON A MOTORCYCLE.)

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“HOW CAN YOU NOT FEEL HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE IN THE VERY MOTES OF DUST WAFTING THROUGH THE VERY AIR?” (AP)

• See, it’s funny because Brian Kelly does this amaaazing Violet Beauregard impression while trapped in the persona of Mike Teavee. Notre Dame is special. You probably knew that. But did you know the Fighting Irish head football coach writes names of recruits on offer letters with his own hands? And then signs them? If stationery were a verb, ND would be stationerying like a champion today. And every day.

• Hail, mortal. Mark Blaudschun reports this morning that the Big East is set to name CBS executive Mike Aresco conference commissioner.

• Today’s Penn State update. The university’s accreditation “could be threatened as a result of the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal.”

• These are all good questions. We are less interested with the possibility of historical trends of academic fraud at UNC than with finding out how Julius Peppers’ transcript was publicly accessible in the first place. But never fear: Peppers’ agent is (allegedly) on the case!

• But he already got the tattoo. Reuben Foster met with the NCAA, says the AJC! No, he met with the AHSAA, says AL.com! But his mom says it was the NCAA, says the AJC! And so on.

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Brady Hoke grapples with the shame of finishing his first year at Michigan with a mere Sugar Bowl berth. (AP)

• Can’t fault his logic. Summer is the most frustrating point on the college football calendar when it comes to parsing coachspeak for actual facts. Every team had a really great summer. Every team’s new strength coach has moved it light-years beyond last year’s benchmarks. Offenses are crisper; defenses are really hunkering down (while playing faster at the same time). And every program’s immediate and entirely attainable goal is to win a conference championship.

Brady Hoke, like everyone else in his profession, spoke along these lines when he first took the reins at Michigan last year. The Wolverines went 11-2 and won the Sugar Bowl. Those two losses were conference losses and cost them a shot at the Big Ten title. Hoke’s self-assessment, therefore, is that he failed in his first year. This is our favorite thing any coach has said in months.

Elsewhere in Wolverenia: The starting running back gig is publicly up for grabs, and the receiving corps is thinned for the moment following Roy Roundtree’s knee surgery.

• We return one more time to Friday’s well. Previously on INTEGRITY OF THE COACHES’ POLL: Lane Kiffin and USA Today got in a snit over his vote in their poll party. Today’s episode: Kiffykins gives no bothers, and doesn’t even want to be in your stupid Coaches’ Poll. While we’re all here, this is a fine time to argue over USC’s crime statistics versus UCLA’s.

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Tyrann Mathieu’s dismissal will be a big loss for LSU, which is No. 1 in the preseason Coaches’ Poll. (AP)

“We’ll miss him, but we have to go on.” — Les Miles

Suspend your Honey Badger jokes and wallow in regret that we, as a nation, can’t roll out the Honey Boo Boo Badger bits we’ve been crafting with such care: LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu, who appears on SI’s preseason All-America team as both a corner and a return man, has been dismissed. Les Miles announced the decision at a Friday afternoon press conference.

It’s a high-profile loss for the Bayou Bengals: Mathieu ranked as the country’s top fumble-forcer in 2011 and was fourth in punt return yardage. He was honored following last season, his second on the field, as a Heisman Trophy finalist. And he’s become a fan favorite through social media channels, not least for his willingness to openly needle opponents.

Mathieu sat out the Auburn game last season, serving a one-game suspension for what, according to LSU’s drug policy, would have to have been his second positive drug test. LSU won 45-10.

Redshirt freshman Jalen Collins was listed as Mathieu’s backup on the Tigers’ post-spring depth chart; at punt return the No. 2 man is sophomore receiver Odell Beckham, whose play Miles praised during Friday’s media session. Losing a starter of Mathieu’s caliber is obviously a blow to a team hoping to contend for a national title, but a back-loaded schedule may help LSU adjust going forward. The Tigers open their season with three straight home games, hosting North Texas, Washington and Idaho before traveling to Auburn in Week 4 to begin league play. Of those early opponents, the Huskies pose the only real threat on paper, and they have to play in Death Valley at night. More ominous hurdles will arise once LSU gets into the thick of its never-cakey SEC West schedule, and an SEC East rotation that includes South Carolina.

Let us now take to the comments and argue over whether LSU is totally doomed or Mathieu was criminally overrated as a corner. Away!

LSU’s Les Miles called Twitter a “fine, pleasant pastime” during his Media Days appearance. (AP)

HOOVER, Ala. — Les Miles, it will not surprise you to hear, opened his session onstage at SEC Media Days by talking about fast-pitch softball and other pleasures of softball. Moving on!

• On his now-famous “You’re like a son. A Tiger son.” ad: “The lines were narrow so that I could perform them effectively.” Miles praised Mike the Tiger for “working the camera.”

• On Tyrann Mathieu’s highly emotive social media tendencies: “I do recognize that there’s some verbal squabble, if you will, at times.” Miles isn’t about to ban his players from Twitter, however: “I will tell you that no game is won on the Twitter page. It’s a fine, pleasant pastime, like Media Days.”

• On the also pleasant pastime of playing an SEC West schedule: ”We play everybody but the Green Bay Packers.” No word on what Miles or the LSU administration has to fear from the Green Bay Packers.

The tweet’s since disappeared, but late last night Tyrann Mathieu complained:

From the “old adults” comment, we can safely extrapolate Mathieu was at Golden Corral. Have some respect, early-bird specialists, and let the kid dip his prime rib in the Chocolate Wonderfall in peace.