DeWayne Walker set the coaching carousel spinning once more with his late departure from New Mexico State. (AP)

Tommy Tuberville’s sitting by the phone* and Jimmy Sexton’s got that particular sparkle in his eye. It can mean only one thing: The coach firin’ season is upon us once more. We’ll be tracking the carousel of progress, right here, for as long as it takes to stop spinning. Raise a glass to times past, won’t you? * Well, not anymore, but never tell us we don’t have the gift of very specific prophecy through throwaway jokes.

New Mexico State [updated 02.01.2013]

• Who’s out: DeWayne Walker, who jumps to the NFL with less than two weeks remaining between now and Signing Day. And not even for a coordinating gig: Walker will coach defensive backs for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Walker released the following statement through the athletic department: “I really appreciate the opportunity that Dr. Boston and New Mexico State gave me to be a Division I head football coach. Unfortunately, I did not get the program as far as I would have liked from a wins and losses standpoint. But, we do have a better locker room, better kids and a better foundation for the program moving forward. There are a lot of people that I want to thank for their support and will be reaching out to those individuals in the coming days. They have helped me in moving the program forward. I am excited about starting a new chapter in my coaching career, as is my family. I wish New Mexico State great success in the future and wish everyone the best. Go Aggies!” • Who’s in: Doug Martin — the one who played at Kentucky, not the one who played at Boise State. Although if Martin The Younger is really so opposed to his excellent nickname, we’re gonna refer to Martin The Elder as coach Muscle Hamster instead. It’s been a whirlwind courtship for Martin and the Aggies: He was announced as offensive coordinator on January 17, temporarily promoted to interim head coach on January 24 and will be officially announced as DeWayne Walker’s successor on Monday, February 4. Martin’s previous head coaching experience consists of a seven-year stint at Kent State, from 2004-2010. Read More…

If Brian Kelly takes the Eagles job, maybe there will be an NFL team that Alabama could beat

— Brandon (@TeamSpeedKills) January 10, 2013

• Eagles to turn next to R. Kelly. There are folks getting awfully het up at Brian Kelly (subscription required) for his dalliances with the Philadelphia Eagles, who are just trying to live frugally after printing up all those WE <3 COACH KELLY cocktail napkins for Chip.

Elsewhere in coach-hirin’ follies: Obvious international superspy Bob Toledo will rejoin Rocky Long as offensive coordinator at San Diego State … Chuck Bresnahan will coordinate Willie Taggart’s defense at South Florida … Bill Young is out and Glenn Spencer is in as Oklahoma State’s defensive coordinator … Texas A&M swipes West Virginia’s quarterbacks coach to serve as co-offensive coordinator in College Station … and from Regular Virginia, Kevin Sumlin snags an assistant who’d been with the Cavaliers for just over a week.

• Roster blotter. Eddie Lacy, Dee Milliner and D.J. Fluker will all leave Alabama early to enter the NFL draft … Clint Moseley has left Auburn football, though not Auburn … also draft-bound, Clemson’s Nuke Hopkins, Washington State’s Marquess Wilson and Georgia’s Kwame Geathers … Joseph Randle to turn pro, per Joseph Randle … LSU has, at last count, 11 early departures … notable non-departures include Texas A&M’s Jake Matthews and Texas’ Mike Davis … and spare some healing vibes for Notre Dame’s Kapron Lewis-Moore, whose BCS title game injury has been confirmed as an ACL tear.

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• Les Miles has some thoughts about what constitutes a nice holiday weekend.

“I can tell you that if I was looking for a New Year’s Eve event, and I was really trying to impress the Mrs., I think maybe taking her to Atlanta, getting a game in with my favorite team and finding a way to celebrate New Year’s — let’s say the game is over by about 10:30 p.m., freshen up a little bit, and go find a place I can twirl my sweetheart. … At midnight, I might get a kiss.” Who are we to argue with The Hat?

• Worth it for the graphic alone. And also the words. Patrick Hruby on sports welfare: “They’re the team owners sitting in luxury boxes built with taxpayer dollars, charging PSL fees for seats constructed with the same. They’re the athletes writing off fines for bad behavior. They’re the multimillion-dollar professional leagues, Ozymandias-shaming college athletic departments and — ahem — charitable bowl games all enjoying lucrative and dubious non-profit status.”

• No Cougars were harmed in the making of this team. Washington State wraps up its internal investigation of the football program, and CougCenter breaks down the findings.

• Tommy Tuberville is not that mean. According to Tommy Tuberville.

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Really, John Junker’s compensation was quite reasonable when you take into account all those yellow blazers he had to wear. (AP)

• As our commenters will surely attest, we are in the wrong line of work. The Outback Bowl CEO made $400,000 in 2002 and more than $750,000 in 2010. If you weren’t sure that you’re doing your career wrong when former Fiesta Bowl CEO John Junker’s spending habits were publicized, you’re really sure now. (Again: Can we get a bowl going? The Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl is listed here as a “second-tier bowl”; the Papajohns.com Bowl was a thing for multiple seasons. Scratching our way into some as-yet unimagined fifth tier of postseason action can’t be that hard. Gather up any Louisiana Tech and Middle Tennessee State players and coaches you can find and meet us on a municipal field in Florida to be named later.)

• Pine box? More like takeout box! Amirite? [crickets] So here’s this story about Tommy Tuberville literally and actually ditching Texas Tech recruits at a restaurant the night he accepted the Cincinnati job, and one of them got downright poetical about it: ”We still had a good time at night, but it was crazy how he just got up and left out of nowhere and left people in the dark and in the shadow.”

• Speaking of gobs and gobs of money. Brett “Sources” McMurphy on the playoff pie: “During the 12-year contract for college football’s new playoff format, the nation’s five power conferences (SEC, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-12 and ACC) will earn an average of nearly $75 million more per year than the smaller leagues known as the ‘group of five.’”

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Just going to repeat yesterday’s MACtion preview caption here: “Behold Jordan Lynch. Fear Jordan Lynch.” (AP)

• Northern Illinois 31, Toledo 24. We do so love what’s become an annual late-season scramble for division supremacy between the Huskies and Rockets, and last night’s contest did not disappoint. The Huskies, who have won 10 games for the third straight year, will represent the MAC West in Detroit for the third consecutive season, and will face either Kent State or Bowling Green once they get there. Quarterback Jordan Lynch threw for 407 yards (a career best) and rushed for 162 more. No, by himself. No, seriously. Lynch was sent here by the football gods to make sure we all properly appreciate MACtion for the weeknight blessing it is. Message received. [BOX | RECAP]

• Ball State 52, Ohio 27. The Bobcats trailed by four points heading into halftime and were nearly doubled up by the end of the game, thanks mostly to a 21-point fourth-quarter scoring barrage from the Cardinals. Ball State scored three touchdowns in less than nine minutes on a Horactio Banks run, a Kelly Page pass and a Jahwan Edwards run. Page replaced starter Keith Wenning, who left the game in the second quarter with an Achilles injury. Also, this happened. [BOX | RECAP]

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John L. Smith, SEC Media Days champion. (Landov)

We get asked a lot why we bother with SEC Media Days. Occasionally, we wonder ourselves. But every year we skip could mean missing out on the next Robbie Caldwell, which in 2012 happened to be Arkansas’ new head ballcoach. He tops our 2012 SEC Media Days Power Rankings:

1.  John L. “Johnelle” “John-El” Smith: He shook hands with the cameramen. He openly ridiculed questions at the podium. He introduced a nation to the slogan “GET YOUR PISS HOT.” He has extremely expressive hands, which we have named Butterscotch and Flibbertigibbey. Are we overly susceptible to folksiness? Probably. Do we care? Not a fig. LSU-Arkansas 2012 just morphed into a buddy-cop movie where both leads are the loose cannon on the force. Not a by-the-book buttoned-down type in sight, and we can hardly wait.

2. T.J. Moe: Mizzou’s leading receiver brought a rare burst of logic to the dreaded “how excited are you” question: ”We’re as excited as anybody. We’re the ones that actually have to go out there and do it.” Oh, and then he went and said this:

Mizzou’s T.J. Moe on SEC: “They say girls are prettier here, air’s fresher & toilet paper is thicker”

— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyCBS) July 17, 2012

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