Temple mascot Hooter and the Fighting Hedwigs are in talks to join the Big East in all sports. (Main image: US PRESSWIRE; inset: Warner Bros.)

Temple’s return to the Big East, if it goes through, will elevate an owl mascot to the AQ level for the first time since the school’s 2004 ejection from the conference. It’s a natural fit for the league of Squibs, but as the move is rather last-minute from a conditioning standpoint, you may find yourselves falling behind, winded in an effort to make Harry Potter jokes during league play in 2012. Below, a few basic maneuvers you might find useful, during an imaginary conference schedule that assumes the Fighting Hedwigs join up with the Ever-Increasingly Accurately Named Big East by fall:

October 6, 2012. Temple @ UConn. “Accio passing game, you guys! Amirite??”

October 13, 2012. Syracuse @ Temple. “Addazio’s offense without Bernard Pierce is deader than Dumbledore.”

October 20, 2012. Temple @ Pitt. “I tell you what, this Owls front seven has put Tino Sunseri in Azkaban.”

October 27, 2012. Rutgers @ Temple. “And what a coming-out party for Matt Brown! He blasted through the Scarlet Knights’ line like a Dementor! A Dementor on a Firebolt!”

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Isaiah Crowell's 2011 Signing Day announcement has yet to be topped, but should be an inspiration for all future recruits. (AP)

The fact that we’re still discussing Isaiah Crowell’s puppy-bearing 2011 Signing Day announcement a year later proves that, no matter what turns the running back’s career in Athens might take, the moment was a smashing branding success for the University of Georgia. This year’s haul of signing ceremonies has been light on pageantry, although one Mississippi State commit did involve an actual human baby in his announcement. So wags the world away. In a fit of wishful thinking, we got to fantasizing about blue-chip athletes swanning about campus with jars full of stinging insects and elite high school prospects piloting heavy machinery through school property, and before too long we had this list of schools whose commits we would very most like to see follow in Crowell’s footsteps and introduce a wee young mascot at their Signing Day ceremonies. Those  Top 25 teams are as follows:

25. Big Cat Schools. Your Wazzus, your FIUs, your LSUs. Perhaps unfairly dinged because there are just so many Big Cat schools, and if this becomes a trend we’ll soon have a Signing Day entertainment market saturated by baby lions and bobcats. Any LSU prospect bringing along a white tiger with purple eyes to match the Bayou Bengals’ latest Pro Combat unis, however, will receive an instant and much-deserved rankings boost. (This being LSU, we estimate this is at most three years from happening.)

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Louisiana-Lafayette fans (and mascot Cayenne) celebrated the Ragin' Cajuns New Orleans Bowl win over San Diego State in style. (Icon SMI)

• Bowltyme! Important takeaways from the first three contests of the college football bowl season: Wyoming fans are people you want to party with. Louisiana fans, even more so. Maybe give Louisiana’s S&C coach a wide berth. Illegal stemming: It’s a thing! Penn Wagers: doin’ Penn Wagers things. A Cowboys extra point attempt very nearly triggered our long-standing “hit both uprights and the crossbar and you win the game” rule. It was the play of the day, until the last play of the night. And I know you’ve found yourselves wondering: Just how are these three contests like artisanal pork products? [Recaps: Temple 37-Wyoming 15; Ohio 24-Utah State 23; Louisiana 32-San Diego State 30]

• A souvenir football on every mantel: In non-FBS goings-on: Mars Hill’s Jonas Randolph is having a pretty good week. Pittsburgh State wins its second DII title in program history. Wisconsin-Whitewater captures a third consecutive Division III national championship. And the States of Sam Houston and North Dakota will vie for the FCS title in January.

• Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Amid speculation he might leave for the Pitt job, Paul Rhoads has re-upped with Iowa State. Reportedly out of the Akron and Southern Miss coaching searches, respectively: Pat Narduzzi and Kirby Smart. And take a minute today to read about the effect outgoing Iowa defensive coordinator Norm Parker had on one former player. And Gary Crowton will do … something … at Maryland.

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Fun things Gildan has done in the past: Broken the Guinness Record for the world's largest t-shirt with this 180.9 by 281.3 foot shirt, presented at the 2011 CMA Festival in Nashville. (AP)

The 2011 New Mexico Bowl is just days away. We’re sure you have so many questions. We’re here to help. For an Xs and Os breakdown, read Zac Ellis’ bowl preview.

• Where can I watch it? University Stadium, Albuquerque, New Mexico.

• When is it on television? Kickoff is scheduled for 2:00 p.m. ET on Saturday, December 17. The game will be televised on ESPN.

• Whom does it feature? Officially, the New Mexico Bowl slates a Mountain West team against a Pac-12 team.

• What about this year? Not enough Pac-12 teams qualified for bowl participation; Temple (8-4) was selected with an at-large pick to take on Wyoming (8-4).

• Who sponsors it? Gildan.

• The paint company? That’s Glidden, although funny you should ask: Years before the establishment of the bowl in its current form, the field at University stadium had to be dried by helicopter and painted green to provide a suitable hosting venue for the 1980 D-II national championship game. Gildan appears to make socks and underwear. We know this because there is a link on its website splash page reading, “Click here to purchase socks and underwear for yourself.” Don’t mind if we do!

• Who will call the game? Clay Matvick, Brian Griese and Jessica Mendoza will broadcast the wonders of the season’s first bowl game.

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Penn State students overturned a news van while rallying in support of Joe Paterno on Wednesday night. (REUTERS)

• The wisdom of youth: Joe Paterno and university president Graham Spanier have been ousted by the university’s board of trustees, which held a press conference shortly afterward that you have to see to believe. (And if you’re like me, you’d rather believe a few disgruntled students got in than believe reporters were behaving in that manner.) Defensive coordinator Tom Bradley has been made interim head coach; original whistleblower Mike McQueary remains on staff. Moderate chaos broke out on campus, where for a group of students felt the legacy of Joe Paterno trumped the heinous actions of Jerry Sandusky.

More reading material, if you can stomach it: The sister of a victim speaks on life at Penn State. Paterno’s statement. Spanier’s statement. Mike McCann analyzes the legal issues facing Paterno. Paterno addressing the players. The withdrawal of an award the NFF was to present to Penn State’s AD. The investigation the Department of Education is launching into Penn State’s handling of the Sandusky case. Bill Connelly: “By shielding and fearing football, we weaken it.”

• UCF is also canceled: Also in trouble: Central Florida, which picked a mighty opportune moment to cut loose a position coach and its AD. Recruiting violations abound; full documents here.

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Running back Donte Harden and Ohio outlasted Blaze Caponegro and Temple 35-31 on Wednesday night. (US PRESSWIRE)

• Ohio 35, Temple 31: In the Wednesday night MAC All-Name battle, Ohio quarterback Tyler Tettleton defeated Temple defensive coordinator Chuck Heater, and the Bobcats made it three in a row in their highly successful campaign to derail the Owl’s Novembers.  Ohio attained bowl eligibility and the division lead in one fell swoop, and all seemingly because it was lucky enough to have the ball last. Chris Coyer replaced Chester Stewart at quarterback before the first quarter was even over, and went on to throw three touchdown passes and run for 184 yards, but so much for that newly stalwart Owls’ defense: Tettleton alone accounted for 258 yards and three touchdowns, with the Bobcats gaining almost twice as many total yards (521) as Temple had been allowing in an average game. [RECAP | BOX]

• SBC through the breach: The Sun Belt will allow member institutions to handle the increased NCAA scholarship monies and tenures on a by-school basis.

• RichRod has some thoughts: Listen to Rodriguez flat-out cackle as he discusses West Virginia’s Big East exit hurdles.

• Quote of the day: “Trent Richardson just told us that he benches ‘about 475′ and that they won’t let him try to do more.” — Paul Pabst

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Banged up tailback Bernard Pierce and Temple are looking to bounce back from their surprising Week 8 loss to Bowling Green. (US PRESSWIRE)

Temple @ Ohio, 8:00 p.m. ET, ESPN: Is it safe to keep calling Temple one of the nation’s best three-loss teams after seeing what that did to Toledo last night? Let’s find out! The Owls have aspirations of AQ conference membership, and have put on a rollicking good show this season, right up until last week. There’s no shame in dropping a game to a team with vastly superior resources like Penn State, and getting clocked by Toledo is a pretty common occurrence this season. But before their Week 9 bye, the Owls sustained a 13-10 loss to Bowling Green, leading to some very familiar-sounding cries against Steve Addazio’s playcalling.

Rockstar tailback Bernard Pierce has been playing hurt — no stranger to hampering injuries, he has been stifled by a recurring hamstring problem in recent weeks — and he’s not getting a lot of help against defenses that now know exactly who he is and that he needs multiple bodies placed in his path. His No. 2, Matt Brown, rushed 22 times for 119 yards against the Falcons, but air support was not forthcoming. Chester Stewart completed seven of 13 passing attempts, and was sacked four times.

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Case Keenum became the NCAA's all-time yardage leader in the first quarter against Marshall. (AP)

The week in lesser FBS luminaries:

• Case Keenum repays: From Friday: “Tune into Marshall-Houston, if you have the time, just to see how badly Case Keenum runs the score up on a pack of defenders who think bragging about knocking starting quarterbacks out of games makes up for losing four games in seven weeks.” How badly Case Keenum ran up the score: 376 yards on 24 completions, six touchdown passes (that’s two more touchdowns than incompletions), no picks and, perhaps most crucially given the pregame storyline, no sacks. Keenum’s backup, Cotton Turner, was in the game long enough to throw for over 100 yards himself. Big week for the Cougars all around, with perhaps some more to come. [BOX | RECAP]

• Florida International 23, Troy 20 (OT): Kicking off the college component of the season’s first seven-day football week, the Panthers edged the Trojans last night for their first conference win and evened their Sun Belt record to 2-2. With T.Y. Hilton contained to 62 yards on four receptions, FIU depended on the feet of Kendrick Rhodes, who dashed for 172 yards on 30 carries.  [BOX | RECAP]

• No. 5 Boise State 37, Air Force 26: Back to Saturday action, where a rare challenger emerged for the Broncos. Kellen Moore tied Colt McCoy for career wins and the Broncos never trailed, despite being pressed throughout the game.  [BOX | RECAP]

• Bowling Green 13, Temple 10:  Bernard Pierce recorded more than 100 ground yards and scored the Owls’ only touchdown, but it wasn’t enough to overcome a rare overmatching for Temple. This week marked the first angry emails I’ve ever seen regarding Steve Addazio’s playcalling as a head coach. I’m forwarding them all to Gainesville, where I think y’all might find some like minds. [BOX | RECAP]

• Comings and goings in the All-Name Team: As mentioned this morning, Trent Steelman’s school record starting streak will be snapped thanks to a leg injury sustained against Vanderbilt.

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