Time enough at last. (AP)

By Holly Anderson

Here follows an account of the reign of Nick Saban from the years 2015-25, commonly referred to by better historians as the Wilding Tuscaloosa era.

The year is 2015. The season, midwinter. Flush with six national titles, four of them consecutive, five at Alabama, even the agile football mind of Nick Saban atrophies with boredom. Staring listlessly at a commitment list that’s a unanimous pick for tops in the nation, a list that will bolster a roster that’s already a consensus national title favorite, in the predawn dim of National Signing Day, the crafter of college football’s most unassailable modern dynasty crumples a piece of copy paper into a wad the size of a golfball with the density of sandstone. It’s time at last, time to turn on the cheat codes, Saban’s last defense against the dulling of his edge. He needs to be tested again.

But the codes are not for his benefit. They’re for yours.

And from now on, everything’s gonna be different. Well — almost everything.
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Nick Saban is seen here in a moment of mild fury. (AP)

By Holly Anderson

Well, somebody had to ask:

Alabama coach Nick Saban sounded hurt.

“It really is a little terribly disappointing,” he said Thursday in response to comments made by Florida offensive line coach Tim Davis.

Adorable oxymoronic constructions aside: Anybody else get the feeling Saban says “disappointing” like Darth Vader says “I find your lack of faith disturbing”? Whatever; we still think it sounded like a compliment in the first place.

Nick Saban did not visibly yawn during the SEC Network presentation, indicating he is at least magical, if not necessarily evil. (AP)

By Holly Anderson

Look, we weren’t there, so we can’t accurately assess Florida O-line coach Tim Davis’ tone, but does this kindasorta sound like a compliment to anybody else?

“I’ve always wanted to work with Will,” Davis said. “Will’s got a plan. Will coached under the devil himself for seven years. I only did three. He did seven. And his DNA is not any different than Nick.”

[Previously, in SEC coaches accusing Nick Saban of being the Prince of Darkness.]

By Holly Anderson

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By Holly Anderson

The vigilant folks at Garnet & Black Attack tried to warn you. They tried to tell you eradication is the only way to be sure.

Me wife Carol and I w/Kenny Chesney prior 2 his concert last night at Cowboy Stadium. http://t.co/dH8RS165Dr—
Will Muschamp (@CoachWMuschamp) May 12, 2013

You did not heed. The Chesney scourge has spread. Grab a watery beer pre-bottled with salt and lime and gather your loved ones close. The honky tonk hell end is nigh.

By Holly Anderson

Remember those recent Bob Stoops comments about the SEC and propaganda? Well, SEC pocket emperor Nick Saban giveth inter-conference bulletin board material …

Saban on Bob Stoops' SEC comment: "I haven't seen it. I've got more important things to do than sit around and read what Bob Stoops says."—
Cecil Hurt (@CecilHurt) May 10, 2013

… aaaaand he taketh away:

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#Gamecocks have wins over UGA, Tenn, Clemson, UF, Alabama, Nebraska & Mich. over past 3 seasons: twitpic.com/cary4j #Top10Program—
Gamecock Athletics (@GamecocksOnline) March 12, 2013

Look, South Carolina football has delivered a great couple of years, but we’re bound by heritage and geography to watch a frankly unhealthy amount of Tennessee football. So allow us to make an observation: While the Vawls are an SEC East division rival and all, they’ve suffered through three straight losing seasons. Beating Tennessee during the Derek Dooley reign puts South Carolina in company with Missouri, Vanderbilt and Kentucky. Just saying.

(Of course, if you go back one more season, you encounter the factoid that Steve Spurrier is 0-1 all time against Lane Kiffin. No matter where your allegiances lie, that will never not be funny.)

TOB loaded up and headed north http://t.co/XZxogF5lGu—
Lee Williams (@leewilliams78) March 04, 2013

Via Backing the Pack, we have never loved Notorious TOB more.

THAT HAT AIN’T EVEN CRIMSON, PAAAOWL. (AP)

Esteemed Alabama blog Roll Bama Roll is getting a jump on spring cleaning with a healthy purge — of its own ranks. Welcome to Gump-Shaming!

Gumps are your cousins with the nine pieces of ‘Bama kit on their person at all time, your husband and his special “‘Bama room,” your misguided band-wagon friend in Butte, Montana whose office looks like a Daniel Moore showing at the community gallery…and, if we’re being honest, likely everyone reading this has Gumped at some point, in one fashion or another.

Guilty as charged. ROLL TAHD.

We don’t remember “the winning end of the Cotton Bowl stadium and the losing end of the Cotton Bowl game” being part of Oh The Places You’ll Go!, but it’s been a while:

Celebrating Read Across America Week with Dr. Seuss and @OU_Football at Adams Elementary in Norman! http://t.co/WH63nfalMj—
Oklahoma Sooners (@SoonerSportscom) March 01, 2013

(For real, this, of course, is an excellent initiative. Maybe next week the school can import Johnny Manziel to get these moppets started on reading defenses.)