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Profiles in Profiteroles: Fresno State swag

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Robbie ‘Mighty Mouse’ Rouse, out for a leisurely stroll against one of the worst football teams in human memory. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Soooo remember last week, when we were all “Robbie Rouse is 79 yards away from becoming Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, isn’t that swell?” We all know by now what happened next. So while we’ve got Mighty Mouse up on a pedestal, let’s put some of his teammates up there with him.

Video game football doesn’t begin to cover what Fresno State did to Colorado in Week 3; this was more akin to watching a cartoon. Were you aware … 

•  Rouse’s 94-yard touchdown run, the one that made him Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, wasn’t even the Bulldogs’ longest scoring play of the game? On Fresno State’s prior possession, Derek Carr and Isaiah Burse combined for a 97-yard pitch-and-catch touchdown run.

•  Carr recorded his 300 passing yards and five touchdowns all in the first half?

•  Fresno State’s defense recorded four interceptions and four sacks?

•  Safety Phillip Thomas was responsible for three of those interceptions, two of which he returned for touchdowns?

  Even the Bulldogs’ punter, Andrew Shapiro, got in on the rout with a career-long 69-yard punt? 

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  • Published On Sep 18, 2012
  • A Thousand Points of Spite: Week 3 Awards

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    Assorted bests and worsts from the weekend that was:

    Tino Sunseri: Making football things happen since RIGHT NOW, haters. (AP)

    Best gotcha. From Pitt’s sports information department: “Each of Pitt’s five wins over Virginia Tech have come against nationally ranked Hokie squads (No. 13/13 in 2012; No. 5/5 in 2003; No. 3/3 in 2002; No. 12/13 in 2001 and No. 19/20 in 1997).” In other news to make you question whether that blue you’re seeing is really blue, Tino Sunseri is your Big East Offensive Player of the Week.

    Worst portents. First, we offended a couple Twitter followers over the weekend with a lively animated GIF of Smokey’s hindquarters, so if your employer thinks dogs should always wear pants, do not click this link. Second, remember always that the gods of sport are capricious, and never, ever Tempt The Wrath Of The Whatever From High Atop The Thing:

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  • Published On Sep 17, 2012
  • Battle of I-10 rivalry wins the trophy arms race; more Saturday Superlatives

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    Andrew Manley threw for 242 yards as NMSU fell to UTEP in last year’s Battle of I-10. Will he exact revenge in ’12? (AP)

    Kind of like preseason awards for the upcoming weekend of football, and just as binding. For additional preview content heading into Week 3, please see Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

    Best interstate rivalry game. From Tuesday’s Profiles in Profiteroles, we remind you that the Battle of I-10 passes two trophies back and forth between UTEP and New Mexico State. One is a brass spittoon, the other a shovel found in an abandoned mine. We cannot stress to you enough how thrilled we are that the Battle of I-10 is real. The world is a fine place.

    • Best intrastate rivalry game. Central Florida and Florida International have much in common entering this matchup. Both have designs on their respective conference championships, pretty good chances of getting to the top once league play begins and a recent history of disappointments in nonconference play.

    • Most promising ranked-teams football game. We suspect No. 2 USC will run (well, fly) away from No. 21 Stanford in kind of a hurry. No. 18 Florida vs. No. 23 Tennessee is a rare night kickoff, which sets off all sorts of bad-luck haunting alarms in our head. That leaves No. 20 Notre Dame at No. 10 Michigan State as the only remaining ranked-on-ranked game of Week 3. It also carries the most promise for a compelling, close-fought football product.

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  • Published On Sep 14, 2012
  • Profiles in Profiteroles: Sun Belt comes through in a big way in Week 2

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    ULM quarterback Kolton Browning edged the Warhawks past Arkansas and into history. (Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

    Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

    HAIL TO THE SUN BELT, SURE IS A FUN BELT, RA RA RA! What could top Utah State’s thrilling Friday night victory over Utah? Nothing short of Louisiana-Monroe taking a top 10 SEC team to overtime, on the road, and pulling out the win on a fourth-down quarterback dash. Said quarterback, Kolton Browning, has since been named Davey O’Brien Quarterback of the Week and a Walter Camp National Player of the Week honoree. Browning accounted for 481 of ULM’s 550 yards of offense, and four of the Warhawks’ five touchdowns. The Warhawks have their first win over a ranked team since leveling up to FBS, and to round out the weekly awards, have been named Week 2′s Tostitos Fiesta Bowl National Team of the Week. Last week it was Ohio. (A moment of cynicism: We love the attention being bestowed on non-AQs more than just about anybody right now, but this Tostitos shout out is pretty adorable considering how nigh-impossible it would be for the Bobcats or the Warhawks to actually make it into the Fiesta Bowl.)

    • It is barely Week 3 and we are already out of poll puns. Idle in Week 2, Boise State is unranked in both major polls for the first time in four years. BYU is the only ranked team in this week’s AP Poll at No. 25, with Boise State, ULM (whee!), Ohio and Utah State also receiving votes. The Aggies’ lone vote is the program’s first since 1966; the Warhawks’ 23 are their first in team history. We hesitate to even mention the Coaches’ Poll for fear of helping its continued legitimacy, but teams receiving votes from disinterested voting SIDs include Boise State, BYU, Louisiana Tech, Ohio, Nevada and ULM.

    • EA Sports loves USA, after all. EA Sports personnel have been spotted in Mobile, making preparations to incorporate South Alabama into the next edition of NCAA Football.

    • The best news. Tulane’s Devon Walker is reportedly “alert and responsive” following spinal surgery. Tulane has set up an assistance fund in his name; for more ways to support the Walker family, click here.

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  • Published On Sep 11, 2012
  • Five days to the 2012 season

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    We’re almost to the point where we can count down to the season in hours, not days. Who’s ready to unleash Robbie Rouse, Mighty Mouse?

    Five days.


  • Published On Aug 25, 2012


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