Oregon State's Malcolm Marable (22) was cited for driving 104 mph on the interstate. (US PRESSWIRE)

Just when it seems we’re in for a quiet week of an already interminable offseason, up pops a cluster of frolicsome arrests and citations to help us forget, however momentarily, that it is February and these kinds of stories are all we have to divert us from our daily spins on the hamster wheel between now and September. Cast your vote below for the Allstate Police Blotter Item of the Week:*

Candidate 1: Malcolm Marable, CB, Oregon State.
The Incident: Clocked at 104 mph (in a 65-mph zone, as though speed limits really matter here) on the interstate.
The Case For: Was also driving without proof of insurance, just to be cheeky.
The Case Against: Already drawing inevitable comparisons to former Oregon rival Cliff Harris’ infamous speeding arrest. And Harris was going faster.
Bonus Trivia: Both Harris and Marable were driving Altimas at the time of their law enforcement run-ins. Shrieking pundit class ready to suggest the abolition of college football every time a high-profile student-athlete is arrested or seriously injured, now’s your chance to get on the anti-Nissan bandwagon, and warn a grateful nation against these cars that are clearly designed to seduce our youths into unsafe driving habits.

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Isaiah Crowell's 2011 Signing Day announcement has yet to be topped, but should be an inspiration for all future recruits. (AP)

The fact that we’re still discussing Isaiah Crowell’s puppy-bearing 2011 Signing Day announcement a year later proves that, no matter what turns the running back’s career in Athens might take, the moment was a smashing branding success for the University of Georgia. This year’s haul of signing ceremonies has been light on pageantry, although one Mississippi State commit did involve an actual human baby in his announcement. So wags the world away. In a fit of wishful thinking, we got to fantasizing about blue-chip athletes swanning about campus with jars full of stinging insects and elite high school prospects piloting heavy machinery through school property, and before too long we had this list of schools whose commits we would very most like to see follow in Crowell’s footsteps and introduce a wee young mascot at their Signing Day ceremonies. Those  Top 25 teams are as follows:

25. Big Cat Schools. Your Wazzus, your FIUs, your LSUs. Perhaps unfairly dinged because there are just so many Big Cat schools, and if this becomes a trend we’ll soon have a Signing Day entertainment market saturated by baby lions and bobcats. Any LSU prospect bringing along a white tiger with purple eyes to match the Bayou Bengals’ latest Pro Combat unis, however, will receive an instant and much-deserved rankings boost. (This being LSU, we estimate this is at most three years from happening.)

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TCU offensive coordinator Justin Fuente knows he just accepted the Memphis FOOTBALL coaching job, right? (US PRESSWIRE)

• Fresh coaches, bought and sold: News from the carousel: As Scout’s John Martin first reported, TCU offensive coordinator Justin Fuente is next in line for the Memphis meat-grinder — though not before a similar square dance first reeled in, then lost Jim McElwain. On paper, this looks like a solid get for the Tigers; what Fuente expects to get out of such a topsy-turvy administrative support scenario is known only to Fuente. Arizona State’s negotiations with June Jones have fallen through, in a manner that drove Jones’ agent to social media to express his bewilderment. Urbz hits the road to rake in future Buckeyes. Bill Byrne blames the big, mean internet for forcing him to fire Mike Sherman over the phone. And Ted Roof will trouble Auburn no more.

• Not a lawyer, but thinking this figure is waaaay low: Jerry Sandusky spent Wednesday night in jail following his arrest on new sex abuse charges. He posted $250,000 bail Thursday morning. Sandusky has been placed under house arrest as a condition of his release.

• A bad day gets worse: Oregon State defensive tackle Fred Thompson, who collapsed Wednesday playing basketball on campus, has died at the unforgivable age of 19. The cause of death was initially reported as a heart attack. Our sincere condolences and best wishes to Thompson’s family, the Beavers team, and the Oregon State football community.

• Realignment tidbits, grudgingly dispensed: The Big East makes its many-tentacled expansion official, and will go national (right, so that’s how they’re spinning this) without the Air Force Academy.

• Bowltyme! Brett McMurphy runs down shakeups in the BCS AQ system.

• Quote of the day: ”Fun Fact: Robert Griffin, if he wins, would be the first Heisman winner to wear Angry Birds socks since Paul Hornug.” — Dan Rubenstein

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The last time I spent a day in Eugene, which was a few years back, the Ducks lost a heartbreaker to Cal. And while my planned trip to see the Civil War for the first time made a lot more sense before the Ducks went and got themselves upended by USC, in terms of environment Saturday’s game was still one of the better stadium experiences I’ve had all year.

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Montee Ball rushed for four touchdowns against Penn State, bringing his season total to 34. (US PRESSWIRE)

Snap Judgments from the Week 13 swing shift. For early shift Snaps, click here. For late Snaps, click here. For Andy Staples’ recap of LSU’s win over Arkansas, click here. For Staples’ take on Alabama’s rout of Auburn, click here. For a recap of all the Top 25 action, click here. For highlights from SI.com, click here. 

• No. 15 Wisconsin 45, Penn State 7: Who’s ready for a less-hyped but still-intriguing postseason rematch? The Badgers will re-engage Michigan State in Indianapolis next Saturday in an undeniably compelling first-ever Big Ten Championship Game. Despite two conference losses, there’s no doubt Wisconsin is the class of the [checks notes] Leaders Division; after a soundly defeated Penn State, the next-closest team to Wisconsin’s record is actually Purdue, which went 4-4 in B1G play.

We who presume to project the paths of seasons make more than our share of missteps, no less than we deserve from the football gods for our temerity. LSU was called a sure bust by multiple SI.com staffers in our preseason predictions (with me in the mix, sure the Tigers would lose two games somehow by virtue of Being LSU). A healthy majority of our own pundits predicted Denard Robinson would have a disappointing season. But if you’ve got a postseason hardware ballot to fill out, it would behoove you to check out my midseason MVP, Montee Ball. Is his second four-touchdown game of the season enough to draw your eye? With the first coming not against UNLV or South Dakota, but Nebraska? He’s within reach of Barry Sanders’ single-season touchdown record (Ball sits at 34; Sanders had 39) and has lingered out of notice for too long as it is. If you’re not going to give the trophy to Brad Wing, give wee Ball a ponder.

With that addressed, let’s not bash Russell Wilson by omission. His 186 yards passing and 36 rushing constitute one of his lowest outputs of the season, but his first touchdown pass erased PSU’s only lead of the game and his second put things comfortably out of reach to end the first half. And what short work the Badgers’ stout defense made of Penn State’s feeble offensive efforts. The Nittany Lions gained 233 net yards of offense and committed four turnovers. [RECAP | BOX]

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Brandan Bishop and NC State kept DeAndre Hopkins and Clemson in check offensively all night. (AP)

Snap Judgments from the Week 12 swing shift. For early shift Snaps, click here. For late Snaps, click here. For Stewart Mandel’s take on the BCS chaos, click here. For Andy Staples’ Nebraska-Michigan wrap, click here. To see how Top 25 teams fared, click here. For highlights from SI.com, click here.

• North Carolina State 37, No. 7 Clemson 13: Upon examining this result, there can be no conclusion other than that the Wolfpack and Tigers have conspired to erect some magnificent, nationally televised piece of performance art. What other explanation can there be for NC State losing to a Boston College team with one FBS win in Week 11 and knocking off a top 10 outfit seven days later? The Tigers have scored fewer than 35 points four times this season, and three of those games have been their last three, but a faceplant of this magnitude was … not predicted. The ‘Pack has managed a higher score than this only twice in 2011 (against Liberty and Central Michigan) and came into this game with a measly 23 points in their last three outings. Clemson’s Tajh Boyd hadn’t been held scoreless all year. Events transpired to alter matters considerably.

Major culprit: The Tigers’ four turnovers and six sacks allowed. State’s defense, coming off a promising couple weeks, came up huge tonight. It also didn’t have to contend with freshman phenom Sammy Watkins, who traveled to Raleigh with the team but remained sidelined with a sprained shoulder joint.

Time to speak of the NC State offense. Mike Glennon’s numbers were not garish (19-of-29, 253 yards, three touchdowns to three receivers), but he looked like some sort of minor god. The Pack had four receivers record at least 35 yards’ worth of catches. Trailing Glennon in scoring was kicker Niklas Sade, with 13 points including three field goals.

What makes this performance art: It ultimately means nothing. Clemson will drop out of the top 10, but it has already clinched the Atlantic title, and will meet either Virginia or Virginia Tech in the ACC Championship Game. [RECAP | BOX]

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Dan Persa (7) left with an injured shoulder in the second quarter, but Northwestern still pulled the upset. (AP)

Snap judgments from the Week 10 swing shift. For late shift Snaps, click here. For early shift Snaps, click here. For a review of the Top 25 action, click here. For game highlights from SI.com, click here.

• Northwestern 28, No. 9 Nebraska 25: Does it not make perfect sense, in this year of constant conference lobster-pot scrabbling, that the second Nebraska settles into the driver’s seat of the Legends Division (the Huskers have one conference loss and hold a tiebreaker over Michigan State thanks to last week’s head-to-head victory), it fritters it all away? On a failed onside kick? With ranked Penn State and Michigan and an Iowa team that’s suddenly looking tricky again on the slate to round out the season? Not a good look.

That the Wildcats managed the upset without the services of starting quarterback Dan Persa is even more damning evidence against the once-feared Nebraska defense. Persa left the game in the second quarter with a shoulder injury, and his replacement part Kain Colter put three touchdowns on the Huskers. Jacob Schmidt, Treyvon Green and Colter combined for 160 rushing yards, while Huskers star Rex Burkhead was held to 57, his second-lowest rushing total of the season and the first time since October 1 he’s failed to crack the century mark. Colter’s not exactly a pushover; he was Persa’s primary substitute during the first three weeks of the season and has seen playing time in four other games since, but it’s an adjustment for any team, and one Nebraska was utterly unable to capitalize on. [RECAP | BOX]

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