Just because Troy Calhoun communicates in a series of airplane noises doesn’t mean you get to call him “Flyboy,” Dave Christensen. (AP)

• So some Mountain West officials walk into an internet café … Dave Christensen getting away with a reprimand for what he said to Troy Calhoun made a lot more sense last week before YouTube video of what Dave Christensen actually said (warning: explicit language) got around. Now that it’s a thing, Christensen will serve a one-week suspension and pay a $50,000 fine. The game he’ll miss will feature his 1-6 Cowboys hosting the 6-1 Boise State Broncos.

• Also double-secret probated. The ACC issued a blanket release covering the various disciplinary actions to be leveled against North Carolina freshman linebacker Shakeel Rashad, two officials from the UNC-Duke game and the entire crew from the FSU-Miami matchup.

• Mark Richt has lost control of … hey, WAIT A MINUTE. Sorry, we just never get to use that joke in real life, and then when we do it feels really weird.

• Bowl projections include forecasts of unceasing sadness. There’s not much we like better than a set of imaginary bowl matchups that includes the phrase “NO ELIGIBLE TEAMS.”

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Lane Kiffin was not pleased with the officiating in USC's Week 9 loss to Stanford. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

• The mouth of Manhattan Beach: Lane Kiffin drew a reprimand and a $10,000 fine for expressing his “disappointment” in the Pac-12 officiating crew following Saturday night’s loss to Stanford, maybe the mildest language he’s ever used against a given conference or authority figure. Quoth Larry Scott on the strictures in place that forbid this sort of behavior: “This prohibition specifically includes comments that create doubts about the credibility of the conference’s officiating program,” which is curious, since it seems like the force generating the most scorn for Pac-12 officiating is, by a gulfy margin, the Pac-12 officials themselves. Hell, the worst call of the game, or rather non-call, worked in the Trojans’ favor, when referees in full view of the infraction missed a brazen hold on a Stanford player. Never say the stripes aren’t spreading the misery as thickly and broadly as they are able.

• Sure do like pumpkin, Cotton: Unsurprisingly, USA Today’s piece on ESPN’s role in college football realignment is waaaaay more fun than either of the ones spun out by ESPN’s own ostensible ombudsman and PR wing.

• That got het up in a hurry: Goes like this, see: West Virginia wants to leave the Big East in 2012! The Big East, not so much! Presto, lawsuit! You can read the document itself here, courtesy of WVMetroNews.com.

• Get your coaches! Pretty early in any regime to be seeing articles like this, no?

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