Robbie ‘Mighty Mouse’ Rouse, out for a leisurely stroll against one of the worst football teams in human memory. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Soooo remember last week, when we were all “Robbie Rouse is 79 yards away from becoming Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, isn’t that swell?” We all know by now what happened next. So while we’ve got Mighty Mouse up on a pedestal, let’s put some of his teammates up there with him.

Video game football doesn’t begin to cover what Fresno State did to Colorado in Week 3; this was more akin to watching a cartoon. Were you aware … 

•  Rouse’s 94-yard touchdown run, the one that made him Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, wasn’t even the Bulldogs’ longest scoring play of the game? On Fresno State’s prior possession, Derek Carr and Isaiah Burse combined for a 97-yard pitch-and-catch touchdown run.

•  Carr recorded his 300 passing yards and five touchdowns all in the first half?

•  Fresno State’s defense recorded four interceptions and four sacks?

•  Safety Phillip Thomas was responsible for three of those interceptions, two of which he returned for touchdowns?

•  Even the Bulldogs’ punter, Andrew Shapiro, got in on the rout with a career-long 69-yard punt? 

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Louisville fans: concerned with face paint, not concerned with fall weddings. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

Programming note: Campus Union will be on hiatus next week as we flee west to catch a little sunstroke before the crush of media days. Regular posting will resume Monday, June 25. Until then, you can follow our PCH madcap misadventures on Twitter, or just gaze with wondrous adoration at our shiny new banner up top. Beards! Laserfeet! 

Below, lovingly curated light reading to speed you to your weekend:

• Reader mail: The Miracle Marriage. Our favorite response to Tuesday’s Troll Wedding Calendar came from intrepid occasional colleague Godfrey, who writes:

I used a late January business trip to London to propose, ostensibly because I could do so in unforgettable vista of the WW2-bombed ruins of a Catholic church inside the old City of London gates  (#nohumblebrag) but also because the time of the proposal would theoretically not permit a big Southern wedding to planned in time for the Sept-Oct window but OH S*** I WAS WRONG SHE’S REALLY ORGANIZED.

My fandom was outweighed (read: overruled) by that whole “undying love and commitment thing, two become one in the eyes God, etc…,” and 10/23/10 was selected due to the church’s availability. The reception was held in her parent’s home (straight up North Louisiana Steel Magnolias, srsly. My future father-in-law even shot squirrels out of the oak trees that morning).

The groomsmen fan affiliation broke down accordingly: 2 Ole Miss, 1 UGA, 1 Texas, 2 LSU, 1 Louisville (/was not concerned). You’d think a 630pm wedding on 10/23/10, the heart of the season, would spell disaster, especially with three SEC teams.

Behold, a miracle:

11:00 CT – Texas vs. Iowa State
11:20am CT – Ole Miss at Arkansas
2:30pm CT – LSU at Auburn (game ended right as the limo came to take the groomsmen to the church)
6:15pm CT – UGA at Kentucky (the sole conflict, BUT they re-aired it on FSN that night at 3am in the hotel bar, because yes, he watched it then)

The only minor complaint the entire night was a sole Bama fan unable to witness a mere routine slaughter of Tennessee. ONE fan out of a group of 300.

PS – As compensation, we had all-bourbon bar at the reception. Seven top-shelf choices to assist in helping most attendees forget what day/week/sports season it was before 9 p.m.

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Imagine the clever signs this fan could create for the North Dakota Sugar Beets. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

Following a statewide vote Tuesday, North Dakota will be allowed to swap out the NCAA-restricted “Fighting Sioux” nickname for what will likely be some decidedly unevocative cat or bird. (Yes, allowed to swap. Read more; it’s complicated.) We have lived for years with regret that Arkansas State, when in a similar situation, rebuffed our suggestion to become the Arkansas State Vine-Ripe Pink Tomatoes or the Arkansas State Manmade Lakes Of Massive Proportion. Thus, we hastened to compile a state-appropriate list of new mascots for UND:

• The North Dakota Roughriders

• The North Dakota Western Meadowlarks

• The North Dakota Badlands

• The North Dakota Flax Seeds

• The North Dakota Sugar Beets

• The North Dakota Fur Traders

• The North Dakota Fighting Welks

• The North Dakota Chuck Klostermans (Klostermen?)

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