By Zac Ellis

There is never a dull moment when it comes to Oregon’s uniforms, a notion that extends even to spring practice in Eugene. The Ducks announced they will wear new Nike-designed uniforms to honor U.S. troops during Saturday’s annual spring game.

The uniforms will feature the phrase “SUPPORT OUR TROOPS” written across both the home and away jersey nameplates:

New Ducks uniforms for Oregon's Spring Game: http://t.co/h1zgIVr1iF—
Heidi Burgett (@heidiburgett) April 26, 2013

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By Holly Anderson

We are documented prudes when it comes to uniform changes, and as such are usually immune to the charms of whatever Adidas and Nike are churning out. But in a shocking twist, we find West Virginia’s new getups almost entirely inoffensive:

Our one hangup is the all-Old Gold combo. There is no such thing as too much blue, and every time the ‘Eers roll out in head-to-toe yellow, we cringe just a bit. But these are a vast improvement over the weird primer gray scheme that always seemed to evoke an airport mired in renovation efforts.

From WVU:

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Here is a stat we would like to see all Nike football programs adopt:

#OnlyInOregonGameNotes http://t.co/lIonRXQUFu—
Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) March 15, 2013

All Orange #ReBeaved http://t.co/VJVsav5mdq—
Mike Riley (@Coach_Riley) March 05, 2013

The #ReBeaved hashtag alone should’ve warned us we were in for something special.

A 6:30 p.m. PST announcement doesn’t exactly fit in with our writing schedule, particularly in March, but we made a mistake not staying online for Oregon State’s rebranding event, especially if this is what we missed from OSU’s athletic director:

Bob De Carolis just yelled out to the crowd, "CAN I GET A YOLO?!?!" What the hell is going on?—
Lindsay Schnell (@LindsayRae19) March 05, 2013

Interested readers can view an extensive gallery of the Beavers’ new looks here, along with a list of alterations to the Beaver brand, which include a new, rocket-looking Beaver logo and the following innovations:

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After a brief flirtation with the Tampa Bay Bucs, Chip Kelly decided he wants to remain at Oregon … for now. (US PRESSWIRE)

Gather ye Rose Bowls while ye may, Ducks. Bound by his own words to remain for the moment in Eugene, Chip Kelly has nevertheless made it abundantly clear he doesn’t intend to be Phil Knight’s caged bird forever. Via the school’s release:

 “I am flattered by the interest of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ organization. I enjoyed meeting with the Glazer family and General Manager Mark Dominik, but after numerous discussions, I concluded that I have some unfinished business to complete at the University of Oregon.”

Unfinished business indeed, Chipper. You led Register-Guard columnist and SI regular George Schroeder and his beat-writing brethren on a merry chase Sunday night, culminating in a late-breaking stop-the-presses moment that left the Oregon faithful gasping with relief and me gaping with envy. Who gets to say “stop the presses” anymore? What a rare treat! And while you are wallowing, sir, Scrooge McDuck-style in your pool of well-gotten Nike dollars, here are a few more dramatic scenarios you can enable over the next eight months to speed our passage to September. Things I would like to say that you can make happen include:

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The gloves on LSU's 2011 Nike Pro Combat uniform are so very, very LSU. (Image Courtesy of Nike)

White is black. Green is gold. And everything is sort of dingy. Army, Navy, LSU, Michigan State, Ohio State and Stanford have all received wardrobe revamps, which we’re apparently still supposed to call a “system of dress.” Right. (Observe with closeness all the various and sundry ways in which these six lucky teams will be able to draw all sorts of new personal fouls thanks to Nike’s bottomless well of glove creativity.) It can only be the latest round of Pro Combat college football getups, the high- and lowlights of which are chronicled below.

• You can’t spell “Lisa Frank uniforms” without “LSU.” “Old Gold,” an official LSU school color (shared with Week 3 opponent West Virginia), isn’t a hue that’s seen a lot of play recently in the Bayou Bengals’ richly-hued yet glaring yellow pants and helmets. But it’s making a comeback here as an accent color, and everything about this collection seems largely unremarkable. That is, until you come to the players’ hands, and OMG THE GLOVES. BEHOLD THESE GLOVES. Lisa Frank’s not dead; she’s frozen in time, and has just been unfrozen for this very special mission. I cannot overstate my love for these things. They are so, so very LSU, in the very best of ways, and will be worth every unsportsmanlike penalty they draw, and they will draw many.

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A brass-stomached newsroom reacted with genuine horror this morning to the cavalcade of new uniforms presented by the Maryland Terrapins, most particularly an object that Terps head coach Randy Edsall tweeted. It is supposed to be a football helmet, patterned like the shell of (wait for it) a terrapin, and bedecked with a checkered stripe intended to hearken to the Maryland state flag. (But there won’t be any names on the backs of the jerseys, because that would be too busy.)

There are three problems with this contraption. The first is that it is terrible.

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