Start your engines, ladies: Alabama icon AJ McCarron is taking his talents to the Talladega race track. (USA Today)

By Zac Ellis

Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron might have two BCS titles under his belt, but he’s set for a new kind of thrill this weekend. The Crimson Tide quarterback will serve as an honorary pace car driver at Talladega Superspeedway for Sunday’s Aaron’s 499, the track announced Tuesday.

“I have enjoyed races at Talladega before and have always had a passion to get up to speed on the track,” McCarron said in a release. “This is an incredible opportunity, and to be able to do it in front of the most famous drivers in the world, is something I am really looking forward to.”

Alabama coach Nick Saban, who served as the grand marshal of the race in 2009, said he offered McCarron some advice about avoiding temptation behind the wheel.

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Crystal footballs are nice, but if Nick Saban can’t fix Alabama’s hovercraft team, is he really the man for this job, PAAAOWL? (AP)

By Holly Anderson

Despite what you may read on message boards or the pages of this here blog, Nick Saban cannot, as far as we know, actually flex the laws of space and time to his will. Which is too bad, because the Alabama hovercraft team could use some of his PROCESS — that’s right, we said “Alabama hovercraft team”:

The inaugural University Hovercraft Challenge on Saturday turned into a disappointing day for the new Alabama hovercraft team. The team not only lost to their cross-state rival, Auburn University, but barely got to compete. Equipment failure limited the team to completing one lap of a one-hour endurance race on land and water. The Hovering Tigers of Auburn also had drive-shaft issues, but not until it had completed 24 laps to win the competition.

The Hovering Tigers of Auburn — a team you probably didn’t know existed and never knew you loved until right this minute.

D.J. Fluker, before becoming ‘Bama’s 14th first-round NFL draft pick in Nick Saban’s tenure. (Al Bello/Getty Images)

By Zac Ellis

The SEC hogged the spotlight once again in the first round of the NFL draft on Thursday night. Twelve SEC players were selected on the draft’s opening night, a total that tied the 2007 ACC for the most ever from one conference in the first round. And while the SEC was setting new heights for the league, Nick Saban was doing the same for his tenure at Alabama.

Three Crimson Tide players — cornerback Dee Milliner, offensive guard Chance Warmack and offensive tackle D.J. Fluker — were picked consecutively in the first round, with selections No. 9, No. 10 and No. 11. The picks upped Saban’s total of first-round draft picks to 14 during his six seasons at Alabama.

That mark is significant: Saban’s 14 first-rounders pushes the coach past legendary Crimson Tide coach Bear Bryant in that regard, as Bryant produced 13 first-round picks with Alabama. The difference? It took Bryant 25 seasons to get to that number in Tuscaloosa, according to AL.com’s Jon Solomon.

Saban and Alabama have recently dominated the rest of the SEC in first-round picks as well. Since 2009, Florida’s seven first-round selections are the league’s second-highest total behind Alabama’s 14.

By Zac Ellis

Alabama defensive coordinator Kirby Smart’s name has surfaced in connection with many head-coaching openings thanks to his success with the Crimson Tide. But ‘Bama is making a big push to keep $mart (that’s how we’re spelling his name now, right?) in Tuscaloosa for the long haul.

Jeremy Fowler of CBSSports.com is reporting that Alabama is preparing to boost Smart’s salary to at least the $1 million mark.

Alabama committee expected to approve raise for Kirby Smart, likely making him a $1 M man.

— Jeremy Fowler (@JFowlerCBS) April 16, 2013

Meanwhile, Alabama is also restructuring Nick Saban’s contract to feature language that reflects the upcoming college football playoff in 2014.

Saban’s old bonus structure includes BCS language, so Alabama changing to accommodate new college football playoff in 2014-15

— Jeremy Fowler (@JFowlerCBS) April 16, 2013

The Alabama football team visited the White House for the third time in four years on Monday. (AP)

By Zac Ellis

For practical purposes, it might be a good idea for the Alabama football team to purchase a timeshare in Washington, D.C. The Crimson Tide made another visit to the White House on Monday to celebrate their BCS title win over Notre Dame, ‘Bama’s third championship — and third visit to D.C. — in four seasons. It’s becoming a near-annual tradition for Nick Saban and Co.

Saban and President Barack Obama must be getting pretty close at this point. The coach presented Obama with a personalized No. 15 jersey, a helmet and an autographed football, joking that the Commander-in-Chief must be collecting a full uniform at this point. Obama offered remarks in praise of the Tide’s accomplishments, mentioning Saban, returning quarterback AJ McCarron, outgoing center Barrett Jones and late Alabama athletic director Mal Moore.

Though Saban has been present for all three of his team’s recent White House trips, he said being honored by the president is always a momentous visit. “This is a really special occasion and something you never really get used to, so we really appreciate it,” Saban said.

Obama, who won re-election last fall, said he might see Saban’s crew again before he finishes his second term. “Since I’ll be around for four more football seasons,” Obama said, “I expect I just might see these guys again before I leave.”

Here is Greg Blair, expressing his feelings about getting to play in or watch another excellent Belk Bowl. (Getty Images)

By Holly Anderson

While you were out living your human lives this weekend, we were licking our Internet thumbs and using them to pick up stray crumbs of tangentially football-related news for your Monday leisure reading. Enjoy?

1. Make a Belkful noise, my soul. In the most crucial offseason development in what has been an already newsy offseason, the 2013 date for America’s sweetheart of the postseason has been set. This year’s Belk Bowl will kick off at 3:20 p.m. on December 28. Start priming your punning engines now, brothers and sisters: We have a lot to live up to.

2. In second place only because we are sad Frosty no longer strolls among us. Legendary Pacific Lutheran football coach Frosty Westering, 85, passed away on Friday. Chuck Culpepper’s remembrance of Westering’s life is mandatory reading. Bonus Frosty D-I trivia: One of his granddaughters, former Kansas State basketball player Shalin Spani, is married to one Collin Klein, whom some of you may have heard of.

3. The Nick Saban, Creative Writing Lecturer Hoax. We would pay so much money to sit in on this class if it were a real thing, which, sadly, it is not. (Duh.)

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Crocuses are blooming; baby animals are taking their first tentative steps; Nick Saban thinks his team is underperforming:

Saban disappointed in how team responded to success before offseason program. "We did not respond as well as we would have liked."—
Andrew Gribble (@Andrew_Gribble) March 16, 2013

Rites of spring, y’all.

Former Dolphins and definitely not future Longhorns coach Nick Saban. (AP)

“If you have stability, you have continuity and you’ve got good people. It’s a formula that works. I think we’ve got that. If somebody tells me we need to change, I say, ‘OK, but who should we hire? [Alabama head coach Nick] Saban? Well, Saban isn’t going to come here.’” — Texas athletic director DeLoss Dodds, 2013

“I’m not going to be the Alabama coach.” — Nick Saban, 2006

Internet, you’ve got both feet down in the end zones of our hearts. Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Or, In Which We Should Have Known Better Than To Try And Go Out Of Town Today:

Recruiting wise, this is a star-studded arrest. Four players totaling a combined 18-star rating. #Bama—
SB Nation Recruiting (@SBNRecruiting) February 12, 2013

Johnny Manziel thwarts Alabama once again, gentle readers. Young Master Football’s Heisman Trophy victory means the Tide will be unable to complete the celebrated Switzer Sweep of winning the BCS championship, Fulmer Cup and Heisman Trophy in a single year, as Auburn did not too long ago. But ‘Bama’s making up for missing out on the third element of the Slam by going after the second as it does on the football field: With alarming depth and relentless tenacity.

Crimson Tide running back Brent Calloway, linebacker Tyler Hayes, defensive lineman D.J. Pettway and safety Eddie Williams have all been arrested and charged in connection with an incident in which two students were robbed, and a credit card obtained in the attack was used to purchase … vending machine snacks? College! Charge details, per the Associated Press:

 Pettway and Hayes were charged with second-degree robbery. Williams was charged with fraudulent use of a credit card and second-degree robbery. Calloway was charged with fraudulent use of a credit card.

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