“If you prick us, do we not bleed? Probably not, but if you tickle us, do we not slap you with secondary violations? Totally.” — A real thing Mark Emmert said (AP)

By Holly Anderson

Heat death is based on the concept of entropy, which holds that disordered states are more stable than ordered states. We experience entropy in real world examples like a glass window being easier to break than to reassemble or create anew. On the scale of the universe, complex systems like stars, planets and galaxies are the glass window, and the Australian physicists have found that supermassive black holes are breaking them faster than we could have imagined. — Popular Science, October 2009

Even by the grimmest estimates, the heat death of the universe is still uncountable centuries from occurring. Rest easy, however, in the equally grim assurance that when that dark, cold day winks out, Miami and the NCAA will still be swapping barbs:

The NCAA’s enforcement staff responded to Miami’s claims and harsh criticisms of the NCAA by lashing back, claiming that UM is “grasping at straws” in an attempt to disqualify members of the enforcement team and that it is “offended” by Miami’s insinuations in regards to the case. — Bruce Feldman, April 2013

Of all the parties we never thought we’d have to remind that It’s Not Called Feelingsball.

“To the post office, men! We’ll file for a dismissal of this infractions case with our last breaths!” (AP)

This hour on our regularly-scheduled Miami investigation update, per the Associated Press:

“The NCAA is alleging that some Miami officials essentially looked the other way when presented with evidence of booster Nevin Shapiro’s wrongdoing” as the basis of its Lack of Institutional Control charge against the Hurricanes establishment. The AP also adds that Miami may file a request for an outright dismissal of the case. CBS’ Dennis Dodd says this is, in fact, a thing that is happening, and that it will happen today. John Infante translates.

Also, this may pose a problem:

No. Miami must file its response, Then enforcement can withdraw the case. MT @bwolf4: Is there a such thing as a motion to dismiss w/ NCAA?—
John Infante (@John_Infante) March 29, 2013

Be that as it may: Given the public statements we’ve seen out of Miami thus far, we are overly excited about this letter, because there are few things we love more than institutionalized backbiting immortalized in print.

Sebastian has about had it with this story. Sebastian is not alone in this. (AP)

Let us sum up the latest slaps exchanged in the Miami-NCAA spat as succinctly as possible:

Miami Herald, Wednesday: “Um, no mention of Ameen Najjar’s work with Nevin Shapiro’s attorney being continued by Najjar’s replacement on the case?”

NCAA report author, Thursday: “LOL kinda there was though? Also, footnotes, brah.”

We’re paraphrasing.

Sebastian the Ibis, upon receiving his morning Miami Herald. (Jeremy McKnight/Icon SMI)

The Miami Herald brings tidings of inappropriate NCAA conduct during the the improper benefits investigation into Miami athletics. No, again. No, again again.

The NCAA investigator who took over the University of Miami case last May attempted, as her fired predecessor did, to use Nevin Shapiro’s attorney to help build a case against Miami – a detail curiously omitted from the NCAA-commissioned report detailing the NCAA’s improper handling of the case [...] Meanwhile, UM also will allege that NCAA investigators lied to interview subjects by claiming that other people interviewed made comments they never made, in order to trick the subjects into revealing incriminating information they otherwise might not have …

All right, this is where we’re finally mad. This is it, and it’s that first revelation that did it. We knew the NCAA was hysterically, uproariously inept in its handling of this matter, but now it just seems like it wasn’t even trying to be sneaky about it. Take some pride in your work, people. It’s called craftsmanship. Luther Campbell is gonna have Mark Emmert’s job by the time this runs its course, and we’re not saying that would be a bad thing.

Nevin Shapiro should be strongly considered for Mark Emmert’s job, because at least then this would be fun to write about. (AP)

Of all the stories that popped up after we signed off work last night, none are so enchanting as the revelation by Tim Reynolds that the NCAA’s director of enforcement wrote a letter in support of Nevin Shapiro to the judge presiding over Shapiro’s sentencing hearing.

“Throughout the course of our interactions, it is my belief that Mr. Shapiro possesses a unique depth of knowledge and experience concerning representatives athletics interest (‘Boosters’), agents and the provision of extra-benefits to student-athletes,” Najjar wrote in the letter, a copy of which was obtained Wednesday by The Associated Press.

Well, that’s accurate.

Sebastian remains, as of this writing, unimplicated in the Nevin Shapiro scandal. (AP)

Intrepid Bylaw Blogger John Infante takes Wednesday’s AP report — the one that placed Nevin Shapiro’s nefarious spending totals at around $170,000, well short of the millions he previously claimed — and uses it to help extrapolate what we can safely infer regarding Miami’s Notice of Allegations, which remains unpublished:

While the total value of the benefits is lower, the number of involved individuals is even higher. Yahoo! found 72 athletes involved, while the NCAA had 72 current (at the time) student-athletes, three recruits, and 12 friends and family members of athletes. So in total the case looks like it includes almost 90 individuals, $170,000 in benefits, multiple unethical conduct charges, failure to promote an atmosphere of compliance for a former head coach and a lack of institutional control charge for the university.

A final note of caution: Please do not think we are continuing to implicate Miami’s mascot with our continued attaching of plush ibis photos to posts concerning this story. He’s just so much more photogenic than any of the other principal players.

Sebastian the Ibis emerges from a cloud of … uncertainty? Yes, let’s go with “uncertainty.” (AP)

Y’all remember a couple weeks back, when we were all told the Miami allegations were going to be handed down just any day now, and we’d faithfully throw up a photo of Sebastian and wait? Not because we are eager to see the ‘Canes punished, but because we would very much like for this whole affair to be over and done with, and in the meantime everybody likes bird mascots?

Turns out we have a lot of Sebastian photos in our files, and we may need every one of them to trace all the future developments that still have to flower before the NCAA is done with Miami, and thus with our attention to this story:

Two key dates jump out in the NCAA’s planning: May 20, when responses by those named in the allegations are due, and an undetermined period in July – when the governing body for college athletics is planning to convene its Committee on Infractions. That is, “unless all parties … agree to a shortened response time,” the NCAA said. And that could happen. If not, this long saga – which most people weren’t aware of until August 2011, though in actuality started nearly a year earlier – may just keep dragging along.

Have a favorite photo of America’s most beloved plush ibis? Send it along. We could all use the entertainment.

Nowhere does it say that Miami’s Donna Shalala DIDN’T write her statement while wearing these glasses. (AP)

• Donna Shalala, with the candlestick and maybe also an axe-gun, in the conservatory. Miami has received its NCAA notice of allegations! There’s an LOIC charge in there, and it’s phrased this way so frequently that we now think of it as The Dreaded Lack Of Institutional Control, like that’s its full name. Anyway, Miami president Donna Shalala has some thoughts, and is dispensing them with open contempt for the NCAA and its process. Here’s our favorite one:

Many of the charges brought forth are based on the word of a man who made a fortune by lying. The NCAA enforcement staff acknowledged to the University that if Nevin Shapiro, a convicted con man, said something more than once, it considered the allegation “corroborated”—an argument which is both ludicrous and counter to legal practice.

Followup reading: John Infante examines why a summary disposition in this case is an unlikely outcome. Read More…

• We (collective we) have some thoughts.  Stewart Mandel on the future of the NCAA’s enforcement model: “At what point does Emmert — or if not him, the NCAA’s members — finally admit the need to blow up the whole thing and replace it with something more effective?” Andy Staples on the need for NCAA transparency: “The release of the report in the Miami case didn’t shatter the public’s trust in the NCAA. The public never trusted the NCAA in the first place, because the NCAA usually acts as if it has something to hide.” Us: Honestly, we’re re-reading last February’s piece on Nevin Shapiro’s next claims and feeling just a little melancholy. Not even one of those came true? You can’t tell us the Greg Olsen one is that far-fetched.

And the thing about trying to joke on this latest revelation is that every single joke could conceivably come true. Observe:

Apparently didn't faze the NCAA that Shapiro's attorney had to take a bankruptcy training session before she could file subpoenas for them.—
Stewart Mandel (@slmandel) February 19, 2013

@John_Infante That was the 20% that exonerated them.—
Alan Cornett (@alancornett) February 18, 2013

omg it just hit me. ncaa is going to drag out this investigation until the statute of limitations on miami's civil lawsuit expires. GENIUS!—
lieutenant winslow (@lt_winslow) February 18, 2013

By the time NCAA's opening statement is completed, Miami already will have served its NCAA probation—
Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) February 18, 2013

I’m withholding judgment until the Roe Lach family report comes out.—
John Infante (@John_Infante) February 18, 2013

Read More…

Miami president Donna Shalala has called for a speedy resolution and no further sanctions from the NCAA. (AP)

It turns out University of Miami president Donna Shalala is not super happy with the way the NCAA has gone flouncing through her school’s football program, given the whole “they had Nevin Shapiro’s personal attorney on their dime” thing. Monday evening, she released a statement detailing the sanctions already endured by the Hurricanes and asking for a rapid resolution to the interminable process — a resolution that includes no further punishments:

The University takes full responsibility for the conduct of its employees and student-athletes. Where the evidence of NCAA violations has been substantiated, we have self-imposed appropriate sanctions, including unilaterally eliminating once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for our students and coaches over the past two years, and disciplining and withholding players from competition.

We believe strongly in the principles and values of fairness and due process. However, we have been wronged in this investigation, and we believe that this process must come to a swift resolution, which includes no additional punitive measures beyond those already self-imposed.

In September 2010-two and a half years ago-the University of Miami advised the NCAA of allegations made by a convicted felon against former players and, at that time, we pledged our full cooperation with any investigation into the matter. One year later, in August 2011, when the NCAA’s investigation into alleged rules violations was made public, I pledged we would ‘vigorously pursue the truth, wherever that path may lead’ and insisted upon ‘complete, honest, and transparent cooperation with the NCAA from our staff and students.’

Read More…