Stepfan Taylor (33) and Stanford will look to pull off a repeat performance against UCLA next week. (AP)

Snap Judgments from the Week 13 late slate. For more, check out Friday’s Snaps, Saturday’s early Snaps, Saturday’s midday Snaps, our recaps of Michigan-Ohio State, Florida-Florida State and Notre Dame-USC and our complete Top 25 review.

• No. 11 Stanford 35, No. 15 UCLA 17. With tonight’s victory, the Cardinal secured a share of the Pac-12 North division title and set up a rematch for the conference championship six days from now in Palo Alto. The win was all but assured midway through the second quarter, when Stanford jumped out to a 21-7 lead on a 49-yard Stepfan Taylor touchdown run; UCLA didn’t come within a score of catching up again all night. Stanford’s last conference title came in 1999; the Cardinal will be making their first appearance in the Pac-12 championship game.

Johnathan Franklin, he of the 131-yards-per-game rushing average, was held below 100 yards for just the fourth time this season, recording 65 yards on 21 carries and scoring one of the Bruins’ two touchdowns. Taylor more than doubled up Franklin, gaining 147 yards on 21 carries and scoring twice, all before being rested in the fourth quarter. UCLA quarterback Brett Hundley, meanwhile, threw for 259 yards but was sacked seven times — bad even for an offense that ranked 110th nationally in sacks allowed before this game, and above even Stanford’s lofty four-sack average.

Not to take anything away from Stanford, which has done some very neat work this season in the absence of Andrew Luck, among other key figures, but it’s all right to feel the tiniest bit let down about this. If only for the sake of variety, it would’ve been interesting to see UCLA play Oregon for the first time this season and not the Cardinal for a second in a week. But if we got everything we wanted, there’d be no point in writing fanfic about Ron Prince becoming monarch-commissioner of college football, and where’s the fun in that? The battle for a Rose Bowl bid begins next Friday at 8 p.m. ET. [BOX | RECAP]

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Monteé Ball’s last name is also a football word, which should save us all some headline writing time once he finally breaks this record. (AP)

Saturday college football games of varying degrees of interest, grouped in highly subjective categories. For more preview content, visit Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

• Biggest game with nothing riding on it: No. 6 Ohio State at Wisconsin, 3:30 p.m. ET. The Badgers already know they’re headed to Indianapolis, as the only other teams with fewer than three conference losses in the Leaders Division (the Buckeyes and Penn State) are ineligible for postseason play. But a win here would be the biggest [screw]-you moment for Urban Meyer since the 2008 Florida-Georgia game. And if you think Urban Meyer doesn’t live for [screw]-you moments, please see the 2008 Florida-Georgia game.

What is actually at stake: The NCAA all-time career touchdowns record, currently sitting at 78 and held by former Miami RedHawk Travis Prentice. Monteé Ball is one score away from tying and two away from breaking this record, and he has a chance to do both at home. He recorded 198 rushing yards and three scores last week against Indiana; if Ball does break the record, expect to hear the hollering in Madison as far away as Kentucky, and expect little bits of glitter to spew from this page. (Please protect your eyes accordingly.)

• Biggest game we feel like we couldn’t predict if our lives depended on it: No. 21 USC at No. 17 UCLA, 3:05 p.m. We have well established at this point in the season that even when relying on math and the best available logic, picking games is tricky work. It’s much more fun, and equally ineffective, to rely on factors like spite and cussedness and probably-imaginary-but-maybe-not-surefire jinxes to decide, particularly in rivalry matchups, which is why this weekend’s clash in the Rose Bowl scares the hell out of us. Some factors to consider: Whose coach to dislike (or grudgingly admire) more? Is it cosmically dangerous to even bring up that “football monopoly” talk at this point? Can we straight-up call this game for USC because keeping an opposing team’s costumed representative from poking one’s field with a sword is the furthest possible thing from a power move imaginable?

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Ty Flournoy-Smith (80), Ken Malcome (24) and the Bulldogs clinched the SEC East title by beating Auburn. (AP)

Snap Judgments from the Week 11 late slate. For more, check out early Snaps, midday Snaps, our recaps of Texas A&M-Alabama and Kansas State-TCU and our complete Top 25 review.

• No. 5 Georgia 38, Auburn 0. Aaron Murray constructed four touchdown drives on Georgia’s first four possessions in Auburn tonight, first throwing three scoring passes to three different receivers, then handing off to Todd Gurley for a rushing touchdown late in the second quarter. Murray finished 18-of-24 with 208 yards and three touchdowns. (You’re not hallucinating, watching replays of that third touchdown pass: Tavarres King played wearing No. 15 tonight to honor injured teammate Marlon Brown.) A breakaway 62-yard run by the other half of the Dawgs’ freshman tailback tandem, Keith Marshall, marked Georgia’s last score late in the third quarter. Gurley and Marshall combined for 19 carries totaling 221 yards.

On a Saturday that saw two of the six undefeated FBS teams fall (so far, that is — Oregon and Cal are tied 7-7 as we’re writing this), the one one-loss team in the AP top five sealed its regular-season conference fate. Georgia is your 2012 SEC East champion and will make a second consecutive trip to the Georgia Dome in December, presumably to face Alabama out of the West. Until then, the Dawgs are finished with SEC play, hosting Georgia Southern next week and Georgia Tech the week after that. Auburn, too, will stay in-state, getting Alabama A&M at home in Week 12 and (presumably!) providing a second division title-clinching game at Alabama in the Iron Bowl.

Said Murray in his postgame remarks: “ Like I’ve been saying all year, you just never know who’s going to win.” That may not be entirely true today, but it’s  a nice sentiment. [BOX | RECAP]

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Tyler Russell struggled at ‘Bama, while Sean Mannion threw four picks at Washington. (PRESSWIRE :: Getty)

Snaps Judgments from the Week 9 evening slate. For more check out early Snaps, midday Snaps, SI.com’s coverage of Georgia-Florida, Ohio State-Penn State, Notre Dame-Oklahoma, Mississippi State-Alabama and our complete Top 25 review.

• No. 1 Alabama 38, No. 13 Mississippi State 7. There are bad games, and then there are games in which your team’s inspirational campaign for an undefeated season gets thrown back at you by a division rival’s long snapper.

The Tide raced out to a 24-0 lead at the half and added two more touchdowns in the fourth quarter. Mississippi State staved off the shutout with a Dak Prescott-to-Robert Johnson touchdown pass with just over five minutes remaining. T.J. Yeldon led the Tide rushing attack with 84 yards on 10 carries. Andy Staples was on the scene.  [BOX | RECAP]

• Washington 20, No. 7 Oregon State 17. One really good time for an offense to avoid getting a delay of game penalty is when that offense is facing fourth-and-14 with 25 seconds left in the fourth quarter, down three points with an undefeated season on the line. Fourth-and-19 is a lot harder to convert! [BOX | RECAP]

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Jamison Crowder (right) tumbled into the end zone with :13 left to lift Duke. (Chuck Liddy/ZUMAPRESS.com)

On a night characterized largely by lopsided blowouts, most of our joy at watching competitive football was drawn from the ACC. Here, we give thanks. For more, check out our early Snaps, midday Snaps, our coverage of Kansas State-West Virginia, South Carolina-Florida, Oregon-Arizona State and our complete Top 25 review.

• Duke 33, North Carolina 30. Let us sing of the Blue Devils and postseason football! Your eyes do not deceive you. That was David Cutcliffe waving a can of spray paint in the postgame celebration crush. Those are the Blue Devils you see atop the ACC Coastal standings. The Victory Bell is awarded to Duke in the earliest game between Duke and North Carolina since 1943. It’s a new blue world.

For a little while there it looked as though the Blue Devils were set to repeat last week’s unfortunate pattern of events, when they jumped out ahead of Virginia Tech early only to see hopes of victory dashed. Duke held a 20-6 lead at halftime and a 23-9 lead at the end of the third quarter before surrendering three touchdowns to the Tar Heels while managing only a field goal on offense. That last UNC score was the real killer: A Bryn Renner pass to Erik Highsmith was fumbled after Highsmith took a hit from a Duke defender, only to see Duke whiff on the fumble recovery and Giovani Bernard scoop it up and run it in for the score. Sean Renfree saved the day late with a five-yard touchdown pass to Jamison Crowder on fourth down that was caught so quickly it was hard to make out even on replay.

Renfree finished with 23 completions on 36 attempts for 275 yards, one touchdown and one interception. Gio recorded his third consecutive triple-digit rushing effort for the Tar Heels with 143 yards on 24 carries. Blue Devils triumvirate Josh Snead, Jela Duncan and Juwan Thompson combined for 237 rushing yards. Tonight marked Duke’s first win over UNC since 2003, its first home win versus the Tar Heels since 1998 and first bowl eligibility status achieved since 1994. [BOX | RECAP]

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“Psst. Hey, Colby Cameron, lookit me! I’m an AP Poll voter! I’m gonna slot Texas Tech in over you, no matter what!” (AP)

• Sonny Dykes will remember your insolence. It’s fruitless to worry over college football polls when one has no power to change them, but what else are we going to do at this hour on a Monday morning? We have followed the progress of the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs with interest since seeing them come perilously close to knocking off TCU in last season’s Poinsettia Bowl. They are currently 4-0 and have beaten Illinois and Virginia in nonconference play over the past two weeks (earning $1.6 million for those two road trips). They are not even close to cracking the AP Top 25, or the exercise in mass self-delusion we continue to refer to as the Coaches’ Poll. This is stupid and gross. Would you like to know more? Peruse our favorite Monday read, Bryan Fischer’s Poll Attacks.

• Or an Urbz-Dantonio glower-off, at 20 paces, at dawn. Ohio State doctored game footage it sent to Michigan State, says Michigan State’s defensive coordinator. “MSU associate athletic director John Lewandowski said MSU athletic director Mark Hollis and Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith settled the issue between them, with no Big Ten involvement,” says the Detroit Free Press. We imagine this matter was resolved with one extremely tense game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. (Did you know they make a travel version of this game now? We have one in our guest room. It’s like a little terrarium of potential sibling warfare. This post is in no way sponsored by Hasbro, which would not approve of some of the words we said to our little brother over the last marble.)

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Washington’s Kasen Williams provided one of Thursday’s only moments of offensive flash. (AP)

• Washington 17, No. 8 Stanford 13. Will this be one of those delightful years that sees every highly regarded team picked off, one by one? What, like you don’t want to see a Minnesota-Oregon State Rose Bowl? Cartoon beavers and gophers, clutching flower stems in their teeth! Don’t hate this beautiful inevitability.

We do not quite credit Stanford’s Trent Murphy with the elusive FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN, but he certainly is burly, and his interception return provided some of the only entertainment to be found in Thursday night’s matchup. Stewart Mandel, bless him, actually watched the whole thing and wrote some words about it. Honor him. [BOX | RECAP]

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• Georgia State has a night game this weekend. The Panthers play UTSA at 6 p.m. ET, a fact you will not forget, because they went and made this video to remind you. Please change your mind about retirement, Bill Curry. Please?

• Injury report story hour. Duke defensive end Justin Foxx had hand surgery on Tuesday and will be out indefinitely.

• Teams that will not be featured in injury report story hour: USC has de-banned Scott Wolf from practice, but remember yesterday when we said barring reporters from reporting on player injuries sounded like a move characteristic of a team much worse at football than USC? Good morning, Washington! Local sportswriters, your thoughts?

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Assorted bests and worsts from college football’s weekend that was:

Houston quarterback David Piland, seen in this 2010 photo motivating Southern Miss’ Octavius Thomas to grow Golden Eagle wings, is an operational death star. (AP)

• Pointiest pointsplosion. Louisiana Tech beat Houston 56-49 on Saturday and set a handful of NCAA offensive records in the process. We mentioned Saturday the game’s 1,293 combined yards of offense; here’s more of what putting teams like Houston and LaTech in the same place will do: Records snapped included most combined plays in a regulation game (209), most combined first downs (78), combined completed passes (87) and combined passes without an interception (129). Teamwork!

• Best innovation in tailgating technology. This R2-D2 keg hails from LSU, but you might have guessed that even if there were no caption and the photo were black and white:

@billisking r2d2 LSU keg twitter.com/whiskeydranks/…

— Zack(@whiskeydranks) September 8, 2012

• Best touchdown celebration. Chuckie Keeton, QB, Utah State. The kid who Almost Beat Auburn is now the guy who Really Did Beat Utah.

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Tracking the zeitgeist of college football’s second weekend through social media:

MAMA! COME ON INSIDE! ONE OF THESE UTAH TEAMS BOUT TO PUNT! CAN’T MISS THAT!

— Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) September 8, 2012

ACC MISSED THE BOAT ON UTAH.

— THE KEY PLAY (@thekeyplay) September 8, 2012

Special Teams Coach Beehive was a sentimental hire from the start for Utah. Won’t save his job after this game. (Plus: is beehive.)

— edsbs (@edsbs) September 8, 2012

@andy_staples @ben_jones88 We’re still getting our shirts and ties pressed at 9 am.We’re not Juggalos.

— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) September 8, 2012

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