There is no such thing as a compelling photo of NCAA COI deliberations, so here is Sebastian in a vaguely menacing posture. (AP)

Assorted items of varying degrees of interest which you may have missed while grudgingly watching playoff football and sending surly tweets to the Golden Globes:

• The NCAA is Lucy, and Miami football is the football, and we are Charlie Brown running toward it, or something? This metaphor holds up only to demonstrate how very much we wish for this all to be over, but here we go: The Miami Herald is calling the release of NCAA allegations against the Hurricanes football program “imminent,” just short of the investigation’s two-year anniversary. Bylaw Blogger John Infante lays out all the ways this process could still be stalled, and how the Miami case might affect Oregon’s.

• Mike Stoops also a fan of Hi Haters Friday! Friday night, 6:06 p.m., Tulsa World‘s John E. Hoover posts a transcript excerpt of a Mike Stoops radio interview, specifically a question regarding Johnny Football: “They’re gonna be tough to deal with. If they can keep him out of jail or keep him eligible, he’s gonna be pretty good.” Friday night, 10:37 p.m., Tulsa World post headline: “Mike Stoops regrets controversial comments on Manziel.” Had Stoops’ defense possessed that kind of on-the-fly adaptability in the Cotton Bowl, perhaps Manziel would not have scored four touchdowns against it, PAAAOWL.

• Roster blotter. In better news for Miami: Seantrel Henderson, Brandon Linder and Curtis Porter announced Monday morning they all intend to return to the ‘Canes in 2013 … in even better news for Profiteroles fans, Dri Archer will stay on for his senior season at Kent State … Iowa State quarterback Jared “That Kid Who Beat Oklahoma State” Barnett and linebacker C.J. Morgan intend to transfer … Texas defensive tackle Brandon Moore will enter the draft … also declaring is USC corner Nickell Robey, whom we will dearly miss watching because of his too-perfect defensive name … Oregon linebacker Anthony Wallace will transfer … Case McCoy and Jordan Hicks have been reinstated at Texas … and Casey Pachall returns to the Horned Frogs.

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In two weeks and four days, we’ll kick off the 2012 college football season. Two days after that, we’ll find out just how much of a favor the previous Arizona coaching staff did Rich Rodriguez by red-shirting Matt Scott.

18 days.

Could former Miami coach Randy Shannon replace Mike Stoops as Arizona coach? (AP)

• It’s Not Called Feelingsball, Episode XVIII: Who’s the polar opposite of Mike Stoops in every way, other than also being a football coach of a defensive bent? Randy Shannon, welcome to the Arizona coaching rumor tilt-a-whirl!

• Expansion “news,” grudgingly dispensed: The Increasingly Inaccurately Named Big 12 will remain a 10-team league for 2012. Boston College’s AD is not a fan of UConn, but is real sorry that everybody knows about ESPN’s role in the recent ACC poaching expedition. UCF guns for AQ status.

• Quote of the day, I: “I think the opening line for Oklahoma (–34) at Kansas is exceedingly generous to either a) Kansas or b) Bob Stoops’ sense of sportsmanship.” — Matt Hinton

• Quote of the day, II:  “Who else would I have to check with? My wife?” — Luke Fickell, balking at the implication he doesn’t have the authority to change Ohio State’s offense

• Giveth, taketh: Ohio State DE Nathan Williams (knee): probably done for the year. Texas Tech RB Eric Stephens (knee): likewise out for 2011. Tennessee QB Tyler Bray (thumb): still Tyler Bray. Kentucky RB Josh Clemons (knee): undergoing season-ending surgery. Arizona LB Jake Fischer (ACL): redshirtin’! Iowa State LB Jake Knott (shoulder): would probably play if his arm just fell off entirely.

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Arizona fired Mike Stoops after a 1-5 start to the 2011 season and eight consecutive Pac-12 losses. (Chris Morrison-US PRESSWIRE)

Like all living things not constructed entirely out of sinew and scales, Mike Stoops and his exuberant hair have deteriorated in the desert. “Free” Bruce Feldman hollered first last night with the news, I believe, and an official school release followed announcing that Stoops was out at Arizona, marking the second in-season coach-canning of 2011. The Arizona athletic department remembered the good times first:

He was able to re-establish respectability to a program that had slid to the bottom of the Pac-10 Conference before his arrival with a program-low 2-10 record in 2003.

… before getting to the “why he has to get gone, pronto” portion of the festivities:

Arizona currently is 1-5 in 2011 and 0-4 for last place in the Pac-12 South division. The Cats lost, 37-27, at Oregon State last Saturday, their eighth consecutive league loss. The Wildcats have lost 10 consecutive games against FBS opponents, winning their season opener against Northern Arizona this year and last beating a FBS team (UCLA) on Oct. 30, 2010.

The good news, such as it is: The Wildcats have a significant chance to double that win total a week from Thursday  with another win against UCLA! And since the remains of a heavily front-loaded schedule have Arizona playing Utah, Colorado and Sun Belt neo-power Louisiana to wrap the season, there’ll be a lazy case to be made in December, beholding a five-win program introducing a new skipper, that firing Stoops hit the reset button at precisely the right time.

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