This is a 1-pound, half ground beef, half ground bacon burger topped with bacon, peanut butter and jelly. No words. twitter.com/Andy_Staples/s…

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) October 3, 2012

Staples, doing the good work.

• Next food news update of vital importance. None other than the Wall Street Journal measures SEC stadiums’ proximity to Waffle Houses, even going so far as to state a measurement in sausage links. We have never felt closer to the WSJ than we do right now.

• Will the Honey Badger return to LSU? A resounding “maybe!” from the Times-Picayune.

• Welp. “According to a study published in the October issue of American Economic Journal: Applied Economics, male non-athletes were more likely than females to increase their alcohol consumption and partying, and decrease their study time, in response to the success of the team.” [Via.]

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Politicians are hopping on the coattails of this Boise State fan and other playoff proponents. (AP)

• “There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them.” Now that changes to the BCS format lurk just beyond the horizon, with popular sentiment for those changes swelling in the wake of another controversial national title game matchup, here come the politicians clambering onto the anti-bowl system bandwagon. Way to be heroes, guys. Way to be.

• Smash segue! That student-athlete stipend legislation is indeed on hold, and the NCAA’s compliance blog has an idea for a fix:

The simplest way to address the issues with an unfunded mandate is often to fund it. However, that is often impossible since funding the program (i.e. raising taxes) is often as unpopular as the program might be necessary. But in this case, the Board of Directors could kill not just two but six birds with one stone. Because the mechanism for funding a large grant-in-aid increase is the creation of an FBS football playoff.

• Penn State things: Mike McQueary is testifying in the Jerry Sandusky case today; the Patriot-News‘ Sara Ganim is live-tweeting the proceedings. Gary Schulz and Tim Curley are also scheduled to appear this afternoon. And Sandusky’s legal team should maybe all just stop talking outside a courtroom.

• Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Rams fleeced! Get it?? And can we please all stop pretending that that gawky hatchet job video of Kristi Malzahn had anything to do with her husband’s career prospects?

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Tyler Tettleton and MAC East champion Ohio survived Bowling Green 29-28 on a 23-yard field goal as time expired. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

• Ohio 29, Bowling Green 28: Your 2011 MAC East champions didn’t put on quite as dramatic a performance as we’ve seen from certain other recent weeknight conference games, but there was suspense to be had, in the form of a game-winning field goal with three seconds remaining on the clock. 23 yards! Caliente! [RECAP | BOX]

• Western Michigan 24, Miami (Ohio) 21: You like passing? Zac Dysert and Alex Carder combined for 842 aerial yards. [RECAP | BOX]

• Fresh coaches, bought and sold: It’s been an alarming 24 hours for coaching news. The universe continues to contrive to create job openings in order to keep Houston Nutt in the SEC, with Texas A&M on a three-game losing streak and now Gary Pinkel’s DWI arrest. And New Mexico has gone and hired Bob Davie, for which we should all be grateful, as it will greatly reduce the time we have to listen to him speak on television.

• Penn State things: SI’s special report on the Jerry Sandusky case, from the latest issue of the magazine, is now available online. A new judge has been assigned following some glaring conflict of interest concerns. Police are contradicting claims made by Mike McQueary. Nobody seems to think the university’s open-records law exemption is a good idea. And read with amazement how the internet played an instigating role in the investigation.

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