Monteé Ball’s last name is also a football word, which should save us all some headline writing time once he finally breaks this record. (AP)

Saturday college football games of varying degrees of interest, grouped in highly subjective categories. For more preview content, visit Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

• Biggest game with nothing riding on it: No. 6 Ohio State at Wisconsin, 3:30 p.m. ET. The Badgers already know they’re headed to Indianapolis, as the only other teams with fewer than three conference losses in the Leaders Division (the Buckeyes and Penn State) are ineligible for postseason play. But a win here would be the biggest [screw]-you moment for Urban Meyer since the 2008 Florida-Georgia game. And if you think Urban Meyer doesn’t live for [screw]-you moments, please see the 2008 Florida-Georgia game.

What is actually at stake: The NCAA all-time career touchdowns record, currently sitting at 78 and held by former Miami RedHawk Travis Prentice. Monteé Ball is one score away from tying and two away from breaking this record, and he has a chance to do both at home. He recorded 198 rushing yards and three scores last week against Indiana; if Ball does break the record, expect to hear the hollering in Madison as far away as Kentucky, and expect little bits of glitter to spew from this page. (Please protect your eyes accordingly.)

• Biggest game we feel like we couldn’t predict if our lives depended on it: No. 21 USC at No. 17 UCLA, 3:05 p.m. We have well established at this point in the season that even when relying on math and the best available logic, picking games is tricky work. It’s much more fun, and equally ineffective, to rely on factors like spite and cussedness and probably-imaginary-but-maybe-not-surefire jinxes to decide, particularly in rivalry matchups, which is why this weekend’s clash in the Rose Bowl scares the hell out of us. Some factors to consider: Whose coach to dislike (or grudgingly admire) more? Is it cosmically dangerous to even bring up that “football monopoly” talk at this point? Can we straight-up call this game for USC because keeping an opposing team’s costumed representative from poking one’s field with a sword is the furthest possible thing from a power move imaginable?

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What glories yet await Cory Dorris and the Golden Hurricane as Conference USA play continues? (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Tis the season for car commercials with big-ass bows and conference math. We attempted to explain, in bewildering detail, how the MAC races could shake out from here in our Wednesday night MACtion preview. We are here to inform you (with some glee, as we adore late-season chaos) that the MAC has far from the most convoluted conference race situation at the moment. Very quickly, the current states of the remaining non-AQ conference races, as teams not named Navy or BYU begin to prettify themselves for postseason suitors:

• Conference USA: Two teams with perfect 6-0 league play records top the two divisions: Central Florida in the East and Tulsa in the West. After Saturday, one squad’s record will bear some blemish when the two clash in Tulsa, but don’t expect that to affect the race. The Knights have only UAB to clear after that in the regular season, and hold a head-to-head advantage over East Carolina, the only other team in the division with fewer than three conference losses. Tulsa’s championship game aspirations could still be spoiled with a loss tonight and another at SMU November 24, assuming the Mustangs (4-2 in league play) beat Rice in the meantime.

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Everybody who wants to see the national championship trophy filled with marzipan, thumbs up! (AP)

Saturday games of varying degrees of interest, grouped in highly subjective categories. For more in-depth preview content, visit Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

• Biggest game we feel like we couldn’t predict if our lives depended on it: No. 3 Kansas State at TCU, 7:00 p.m. ET. We’re still harboring a dream that seemed far-fetched just a few short weeks ago, a dream inspired by Tom Fornelli suggesting that if Bill Snyder takes home the crystal football this year, he’ll break it in half and make two hard candy dishes. The ‘Cats, at 9-0, are one of six undefeated teams remaining in FBS play. No gimme games remain, but then again, they haven’t played a gimme game since Oct. 6 against Kansas. In their past three outings, they’ve beaten three ranked opponents by a combined score of 154-68.

The Horned Frogs, no slouches on defense, will pose a greater threat to K-State’s undefeated season if the Wildcats take the field without starting quarterback Collin Klein. The Heisman frontrunner’s status for Saturday has been carefully guarded almost since the moment of his injury during last week’s game against Oklahoma State. It’s entirely possible we could see this contest played out without either team fielding the quarterbacks that topped the depth charts at the year’s outset. Only one thing is for certain: This will be the purplest football contest of the regular season.

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Fresno State’s offense gets plenty of attention, but Phillip Thomas would have you know the Bulldogs are also ranked seventh nationally in pass efficiency defense. (Courtesy of Fresno State Athletics/Cary Edmondson)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Profile in Ownage: Phillip Thomas, SS, Fresno State

It’s nine weeks into the first season of the Tim DeRuyter era at Fresno State, and if your thoughts turn to the Bulldogs, they probably turn to quarterback Derek Carr, the younger brother of David currently putting up more than 300 yards of offense a game, or Robbie “Mighty Mouse” Rouse, the diminutive back who scored four touchdowns in a quarter against Colorado. But as the season winds down, we’d suggest familiarizing yourselves with the body of work being assembled by senior strong safety Phillip Thomas. The Bakersfield, Calif., native has recorded an FBS-leading seven interceptions through two months of play, three of which he returned for touchdowns, and one fumble recovery. He’s also forced three fumbles, made seven tackles for loss and collected three sacks.

“This 3-4 defense that we run, we learned it from Dick LeBeau and the Steelers, and Phillip’s our Troy Polamalu,” DeRuyter told SI.com. “Where you’ve gotta have a guy who’s gonna be a difference-maker, you can blitz him, you can have him in pass coverage, you can have him as a run-force player, he can play man coverage and he can disguise everything? That guy, for us, is Phillip.”

Thomas is keying a major defensive turnaround. A team that ranked 116th nationally in turnover margin last season is up to 11th in 2012, thanks in large part to a player who spent most of his junior year watching from the sidelines on one good leg.

“I know we’ve had a reputation here offensively,” said DeRuyter. “When you’ve got players like Derek and Robbie, it’s deservedly so.

“What I think people don’t know is Phillip didn’t play a year ago.”

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Sean Renfree can levitate, but can he top the ‘Noles? (AP)

There are many ranked-on-ranked games this college football Saturday, including No. 3 Florida vs. No. 12 Georgia, No. 15 Texas Tech at No. 4 Kansas State, No. 5 Notre Dame at No. 8 Oklahoma and No. 13 Mississippi State at No. 1 Alabama. This is not a preview of those games. (For more big-picture football content, please visit Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.)

• Locavore football for the environmentally conscious consumer. Devotees of farm-to-fan football, please note these geographic rivalry games on the schedule for Week 9: Temple at Pitt (noon E.T.), NC State at North Carolina (12:30 p.m.), No. 23 Ohio at Miami (Ohio) (3:30 p.m.), and UTEP at Houston (4:30 p.m.).

• Game that should be played at night but isn’t. UTEP at Houston. UTEP being UTEP, and Houston being half responsible for that 72-42 SMU box score that so terrified the daintier set, this one ought to start and end under cover of darkness. It just seems a more fitting setting for whatever wackiness is about to ensue.

• Conference curiosity. We remind you at this time that a) Duke leads its division and is scheduled to play No. 11 Florida State in Tallahassee b) for the Seminoles’ homecoming game. Who is carrying the bigger jinx here? Impossible to discern. Kickoff is at 3:30 p.m.

• Nonconference curiosities. BYU at Georgia Tech (3:00 p.m.) and Kent State at No. 18 Rutgers (3:30 p.m.).

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Colby Cameron and Johnny Manziel lead two of the nation’s top offenses. Who wins? Or will they decide to film a buddy cop comedy instead? JOHNNY FOOTBALL AND THE COLB-CAM: LOOSE CANNONS. (AP-Stacy Revere/Getty Images)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

It is time. The Ohio Bobcats are 6-0, bowl eligible and unranked and likely to stay that way for a little bit while AQ teams above them take losses and are dropped in the polls accordingly. They’re also not making a great case for Big Important Bowl Inclusion, having allowed three non-AQ teams (Marshall, UMass and Buffalo) to play them closer than their Week 1 opponents at Penn State. Six MAC teams remain on the schedule, not one of which finished 2011 with a winning record and only one of which (Kent State) is currently above .500 in 2012. If the Bobcats plan on ascending into the national Top 25 before the year is out, they’ll have to stage some blowouts.

This week, national spotlights will be trained on Louisiana Tech, a team less likely to go undefeated but more likely to impress the BCS if it does. A matchup viewed as a high-stakes Week 1 upset possibility has only seen its stakes increase since Hurricane Isaac forced a six-week delay, as both LaTech and Texas A&M went and got themselves ranked. Tech’s No. 23 AP ranking is just the second AP nod in program history and its first since 1999. A&M has rattled off four straight wins since dropping its first SEC game to Florida in Week 2, with the final scores ranging from the predictable (70-14 versus South Carolina State) to the uncomfortable (30-27 at Ole Miss).

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Logan Kilgore and the Middle Tennessee State offense racked up 510 yards of offense in a win at Georgia Tech. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

You see, they are called the “Sun Belt” teams because they are just out there belting people. See. That the Sun Belt would field four teams to be reckoned with in 2012 was a reasonable preseason estimate of ours, we think. What we didn’t expect was that two of those teams would be Louisiana-Monroe and Middle Tennessee State rather than Florida International and Arkansas State. Mario Cristobal’s Golden Panthers fell to 1-4 after a 48-20 loss to Louisiana Saturday; perhaps this is his way of telegraphing just how much he wants people to start bothering him with potential job openings in power conferences. We saw the Panthers, on paper, as the likely top contender for conference championship honors; right now, as deep as the Sun Belt is rolling, FIU will be lucky to finish in its top half.

But let’s focus on the good stuff, which you already know if you’re bothering to read this, but which we can’t stand not to repeat: Middle Tennessee, which opened the season with a six-point loss to an FCS team, just racked up 510 yards and 49 points against Georgia Tech, at Georgia Tech. Tee-hee! The Blue Raiders’ weapon of choice: junior running back Benny Cunningham, who carried the ball 27 times for a grand total of 217 yards and five touchdowns. MTSU’s defense sacked Tevin Washington four times. Paul Johnson must’ve eaten a quarry’s worth of gravel just to make it through a single film session.

“Our guys know what they’re getting into at Middle. These guys have played against them the last couple of years. This is a good conference,” said Louisiana-Monroe coach Todd Berry after Saturday’s win over Tulane. A popular sentiment heading into 2012, re: the Sun Belt, to be sure. But did you ever think these two outfits would be this thickly in the mix? Week 6′s Warhawks-Blue Raiders tilt is looking like appointment television about now.

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Tracking the zeitgeist through college football’s opening weekend.

I like that when we play overseas, we send Navy. Just in case.

— Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) September 1, 2012

Mark Richt has lost control of my bougainvilleas.instagr.am/p/PC6_QMrv3n/

— sarah sprague (@sarah_sprague) September 1, 2012

Casual Todd Blackledge is disconcerting, like seeing your teacher at the grocery store

— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) September 1, 2012

Somewhere, I imagine Derek Dooley’s mom visibly seething that her son is on national television with his shirt untucked like a heathen.

— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 1, 2012

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Shawne Alston led West Virginia’s productive rushing attack with 16 carries for 123 yards and two scores.
(Justin K. Aller/Getty Images Sport)

Snap Judgments from Saturday’s early slate. For more from SI.com check out our midday and evening Snaps, plus our game coverage of Alabama-Michigan, Auburn-Clemson, Ohio-Penn State, South Carolina-Vanderbilt, Washington State-BYU, NC State-Tennessee and Boise State-Michigan State and our full Top 25 review.

• No. 11 West Virginia 69, Marshall 34. Minutes after wrecking Clemson in the Orange Bowl to conclude his first season as West Virginia’s head coach, Dana Holgorsen walked into his postgame press conference, looked around and declared, “Yeah, that’s exactly how we draw it up, right?”

He might have said much the same thing after the Mountaineers’ 2012 season opener. We’ve just seen the last version of the Friends of Coal Bowl for the foreseeable future, and WVU made it a memorable one. Holgorsen’s war machine wound down the afternoon in Morgantown with 655 yards of total offense, almost perfectly balanced — 331 rushing and 324 passing. This first stat was achieved without the presence of running back Dustin Garrison, who is still recovering from a December ACL injury. Shawne Alston led the ground attack for the Mountaineers, amassing 16 carries for 123 yards and two scores. Andrew Buie trailed with 80 rush yards and one touchdown (and one monstrous block), Tavon Austin with 67 yards and quarterback Geno Smith with 64 yards and a rushing score.

Through the air, Smith put on close to a perfect performance, completing 32-of-36 passes for 323 yards and four touchdowns. Backup Paul Millard got into the action late, throwing one touchdown and one interception. Stedman Bailey led the Mountaineers in receiving, with nine catches for 104 yards and two scores, followed by J.D. Woods, who caught seven passes for 75 yards and a score. Austin and KJ Myers hauled in additional touchdown grabs.

The defensive highlight of the afternoon came when linebacker Isaiah Bruce returned a fumble 43 yards for a score. Is it nonsensical to say this is the unit we’re most interested in tracking, development-wise? The Mountaineers’ offense is obviously potent, but these games will take a turn for the hair-raising once they get into conference play and face other formidable points generators. (Not that this will happen soon; the next scheduled opponents are James Madison and Maryland.) [RECAP | BOX]

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Tyler Tettleton and MAC East champion Ohio survived Bowling Green 29-28 on a 23-yard field goal as time expired. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

• Ohio 29, Bowling Green 28: Your 2011 MAC East champions didn’t put on quite as dramatic a performance as we’ve seen from certain other recent weeknight conference games, but there was suspense to be had, in the form of a game-winning field goal with three seconds remaining on the clock. 23 yards! Caliente! [RECAP | BOX]

• Western Michigan 24, Miami (Ohio) 21: You like passing? Zac Dysert and Alex Carder combined for 842 aerial yards. [RECAP | BOX]

• Fresh coaches, bought and sold: It’s been an alarming 24 hours for coaching news. The universe continues to contrive to create job openings in order to keep Houston Nutt in the SEC, with Texas A&M on a three-game losing streak and now Gary Pinkel’s DWI arrest. And New Mexico has gone and hired Bob Davie, for which we should all be grateful, as it will greatly reduce the time we have to listen to him speak on television.

• Penn State things: SI’s special report on the Jerry Sandusky case, from the latest issue of the magazine, is now available online. A new judge has been assigned following some glaring conflict of interest concerns. Police are contradicting claims made by Mike McQueary. Nobody seems to think the university’s open-records law exemption is a good idea. And read with amazement how the internet played an instigating role in the investigation.

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