Light assorted reading to speed you through your Friday:
• The Fighting Okra is NOT a medical professional. Look, as long as Delta State keeps making these videos, we’ll keep posting them, because SINISTER PLUSH OKRA:
The Memphis Tigers have live tigers as mascots (not pictured), but their appeal ends there. (Getty Images)
Football’s version of Manifest Destiny is ripping the space-time fabric of the sport asunder. We accept this new age of ceaseless, often senseless expansion, albeit with much sniping. In these troubled times, resurgent survivalist instincts are perhaps to be expected (she said, from her secret blogging lair stocked wall-to-wall with bottled water and guns). But this latest development is five or six bridges too far to be believed. Memphis? To a (technically) AQ conference? There is transcontinental conquest, and then there is straight-up hoarding, and we need to talk about the Big East’s behavior and its recent veer toward the latter.
No major-conference program is hankering to hitch its wagon to this sputtering star, so raiding the mid-majors is a necessity. But Memphis football is the stack of rotting newspapers in this scenario.
“But I need it!” No, Big East. You really don’t. You’re hurting your brand. You’re hurting yourself. Memphis’ financial straits regarding athletic revenue have been well-documented, its on-field product reviled as pale and listless. The Tigers haven’t won more than two games in a season since a 6-7 2008 campaign that culminated in a 41-14 walloping by USF in the St. Petersburg Bowl. The last time they went to a bowl game and actually won was 2005. This is an addition in name only, and one that dilutes a football brand that can ill afford it. What’s more: In moving away from Conference USA, Memphis is endangering a rivalry game with the greatest trophy in the history of this sport or any other.
TCU offensive coordinator Justin Fuente knows he just accepted the Memphis FOOTBALL coaching job, right? (US PRESSWIRE)
• Fresh coaches, bought and sold: News from the carousel: As Scout’s John Martin first reported, TCU offensive coordinator Justin Fuente is next in line for the Memphis meat-grinder — though not before a similar square dance first reeled in, then lost Jim McElwain. On paper, this looks like a solid get for the Tigers; what Fuente expects to get out of such a topsy-turvy administrative support scenario is known only to Fuente. Arizona State’s negotiations with June Jones have fallen through, in a manner that drove Jones’ agent to social media to express his bewilderment. Urbz hits the road to rake in future Buckeyes. Bill Byrne blames the big, mean internet for forcing him to fire Mike Sherman over the phone. And Ted Roof will trouble Auburn no more.
• Not a lawyer, but thinking this figure is waaaay low: Jerry Sandusky spent Wednesday night in jail following his arrest on new sex abuse charges. He posted $250,000 bail Thursday morning. Sandusky has been placed under house arrest as a condition of his release.
• A bad day gets worse: Oregon State defensive tackle Fred Thompson, who collapsed Wednesday playing basketball on campus, has died at the unforgivable age of 19. The cause of death was initially reported as a heart attack. Our sincere condolences and best wishes to Thompson’s family, the Beavers team, and the Oregon State football community.
• Realignment tidbits, grudgingly dispensed: The Big East makes its many-tentacled expansion official, and will go national (right, so that’s how they’re spinning this) without the Air Force Academy.
• Bowltyme! Brett McMurphy runs down shakeups in the BCS AQ system.
• Quote of the day: ”Fun Fact: Robert Griffin, if he wins, would be the first Heisman winner to wear Angry Birds socks since Paul Hornug.” — Dan Rubenstein
Arizona State fans got their wish when head coach Dennis Erickson was fired on Bloody Sunday. (AP)
“I’m concerned that by the end of the day there may be more coaching openings than bowl teams.”
– Stewart Mandel, November 2011
Canned Coachmas is upon us once more (presiding patron saint: Mike Leach). It’s the most wonderful time of the year – if your name’s Jimmy Sexton. There’s one very large piece of news this morning involving the vacant coaching position at Ohio State, which has been a foregone conclusion for some days now. Stewart Mandel has a fresh column up on Urban Meyer’s return to Buckeye country. Over here, however, we’ll be tracking goings rather than comings. Bookmark this page, if you’re into this sort of thing, as we catalog the firings, “retirements” and Actual Retirements throughout college football. This post will be refreshed as needed as news of more oustings breaks.
NB: For documenting purposes here, we’ll be sticking to news rather than conjecture, which means we won’t add new bodies until they’re officially defenestrated. To the already dismissed likes of Mike Stoops, Mike Locksley, Houston Nutt and Bob Toledo, and the slated-for-retirement Howard Schnellenberger, we can now add:
• [UPDATE 12/06] Greg McMackin, Hawaii: Following a rocky four-year tenure that concluded with a drop from 10 wins in 2010 to six in 2011 (to say nothing of the recent unpleasantness with points-shaving allegations), June Jones’ successor is hanging up his Warriors whistle. It’s probably time; how anybody can manage to lose to this year’s UNLV and Fresno State squads with Bryant Moniz as a quarterback, rampant injuries or no, is beyond comprehension.
• [UPDATE 12/05] Pat Hill, Fresno State: The magnificently mustachioed skipper of the Bulldogs for 15 years, Hill’s had a bad few seasons despite his overall winning record, and the party line from the AD is making it sound like ticket sales were the real culprit: “Our community was not responding any longer to the record that we had.” The 2011 team finished well out of bowl contention, with a nasty OOC schedule that included Cal, Nebraska and Boise State, but also dropped games to such FBS luminaries as Ole Miss, New Mexico State and San Jose State.
Montee Ball rushed for four touchdowns against Penn State, bringing his season total to 34. (US PRESSWIRE)
Snap Judgments from the Week 13 swing shift. For early shift Snaps, click here. For late Snaps, click here. For Andy Staples’ recap of LSU’s win over Arkansas, click here. For Staples’ take on Alabama’s rout of Auburn, click here. For a recap of all the Top 25 action, click here. For highlights from SI.com, click here.
• No. 15 Wisconsin 45, Penn State 7: Who’s ready for a less-hyped but still-intriguing postseason rematch? The Badgers will re-engage Michigan State in Indianapolis next Saturday in an undeniably compelling first-ever Big Ten Championship Game. Despite two conference losses, there’s no doubt Wisconsin is the class of the [checks notes] Leaders Division; after a soundly defeated Penn State, the next-closest team to Wisconsin’s record is actually Purdue, which went 4-4 in B1G play.
We who presume to project the paths of seasons make more than our share of missteps, no less than we deserve from the football gods for our temerity. LSU was called a sure bust by multiple SI.com staffers in our preseason predictions (with me in the mix, sure the Tigers would lose two games somehow by virtue of Being LSU). A healthy majority of our own pundits predicted Denard Robinson would have a disappointing season. But if you’ve got a postseason hardware ballot to fill out, it would behoove you to check out my midseason MVP, Montee Ball. Is his second four-touchdown game of the season enough to draw your eye? With the first coming not against UNLV or South Dakota, but Nebraska? He’s within reach of Barry Sanders’ single-season touchdown record (Ball sits at 34; Sanders had 39) and has lingered out of notice for too long as it is. If you’re not going to give the trophy to Brad Wing, give wee Ball a ponder.
With that addressed, let’s not bash Russell Wilson by omission. His 186 yards passing and 36 rushing constitute one of his lowest outputs of the season, but his first touchdown pass erased PSU’s only lead of the game and his second put things comfortably out of reach to end the first half. And what short work the Badgers’ stout defense made of Penn State’s feeble offensive efforts. The Nittany Lions gained 233 net yards of offense and committed four turnovers. [RECAP | BOX]
• UAB 34, No. 22 Southern Miss 31: Yesterday’s categorization of the Blazers as a “respite” for the Golden Eagles clearly galvanized UAB into unleashing the special-teams dragon. Emerging from a 14-0 hole after quick touchdown strikes gave Southern Miss a three-minute, two-score lead, the Blazers kept pace in the second half and secured the win with a 38-yard field goal in the game’s final four minutes. Nobody in Birmingham puts up with being called a patsy. At least not more than once a season.
Either that, or Larry Fedora really, really doesn’t want that Ole Miss job but can’t think how to decline it gracefully. And either way: A 2-8 team just beat a ranked squad, and now Southern Miss has to get past Memphis (LOLZ) to lock up C-USA East. And it’s all thanks to the hedgehog mentality of the Blazers:
“We don’t get down. We just kind of roll,” Blazers coach Neil Callaway said.
Roll on, you crazy diamond. Roll on. [RECAP | BOX]
North Carolina has been stingy against the run, but could struggle to contain Virginia Tech's David Wilson. (Cal Sport Media)
• North Carolina @ No. 9 Virginia Tech, 8:00 p.m. ET (ESPN): With just one loss to then-No. 13 Clemson, the Hokies have by and large rolled every team they were supposed to roll. But there have been some weird close games, namely East Carolina and Duke, and the Tar Heels do have a chance to hamper the Hokies’ top 10 ranking, if not their place in the ACC race. So, Tech better not look ahead to next week’s possibly division-deciding game with UVA. And while all that’s important, it’s extremely difficult to take a team seriously that has a transitive loss to Boston College, even if it’s had two weeks to prepare. It’s a personal weakness of mine.
Other, more sensible reasons why the Hokies should be fine tonight: UNC’s No. 1 tailback and best team weapon, Giovani Bernard, will be competing against the No. 13 rushing defense in the FBS. The Tar Heels have been stingy against the run, allowing just over 100 yards on the ground per game themselves, but this year’s Hokies have both national No. 3 rusher David Wilson to give them fits and an able outlet in Logan Thomas-to-Danny Coale should they need to lean on the pass. Finally, Tar Heels quarterback Bryn Renner has been a sad-clown sack target all the livelong season, and Tech is averaging over three QB takedowns per game. Tidbit you’ll hear the broadcast crew grind into dust tonight: Renner’s dad played for Virginia Tech! So he might have a mental edge! Or he might not! Do you think his dad still loves him? Let’s ask Craig James!
Josh Boyce and TCU are back in the BCS Top 25 after knocking off Boise State. (Icon SMI)
The week in lesser FBS luminaries:
• One stage of your journey is over; another begins: Friday night, I lamented the loss of both Boise State and TCU from BCS contention. But rather than regretting the Horned Frogs dragging the Broncos down into the morass of one-loss teams, let’s celebrate what happened next: TCU’s return to the BCS Top 25. With one “good” loss and one of questionable quality, it’s where the Frogs deserve to be, and where they certainly would be were they already in an AQ conference. And they’ll both get to go out on garish high notes if they end up in the postseason where Stewart Mandel is projecting them: TCU against Nevada in the Poinsettia Bowl and Boise against UCLA in the Las Vegas both bode well for bitter blowouts.
The Big East can give up on football entirely by adding lowly Memphis to its ranks. (Icon SMI)
• Realignment tidbits, grudgingly dispensed: Just plunge through all these as fast as you can so we can get back to talking about football: Here’s our most recently updated story on the Big 12 and West Virginia. That Big East-Mountain West-Conference USA superconference that was a story and then was not is now a story again. And here’s a fun story on how the Big East might just give up on football completely (the league would signal this surrender by adding Memphis to the conference).
• Fresh coaches, bought and sold: Jerry Kill’s new deal at Minnesota runs through the end of the 2017 season, which given the current state of the Gophers football program seems a reasonable time frame for a rebuilding effort.
• Quote of the day: “How will I explain to my children that their father never experienced the Beef O’ Brady’s Bowl?” — West Virginia raconteur Andrew Bernstein, lamenting (kinda) the Mountaineers’ looming flight from the Big East.
• Giveth, taketh: Trent Steelman‘s starting streak will snap this weekend, as he’s expected to miss the Army-Fordham game. Notre Dame’s Kapron Lewis-Moore is out for the season with a knee injury, as is UCLA’s Tony Dye with a neck injury. And Washington State quarterback Jeff Tuel, who fractured his collarbone on Week 1′s first series, continues to be dealt rough hands with reports he’s suffering from acute compartment syndrome in his leg.
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