By Holly Anderson

… because he’s burning up the charts with Georgia’s latest anthem, amirite?? This first Dawgs music video of the year, like the first robin of spring, performed by Richt offspring David and former pro golfer/Jermaine Dupri collaborator Colt Ford, debuted at G-Day festivities on April 6, and has finally cooled enough to where we can handle it with tongs:

After the jump, a lovingly preserved .gif of Richt’s mesmerizing prow-of-the-Titanic dance moves, courtesy of @Landgrant33:

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@SIHolly This turtle has DISAPPOINTED ME. It is SOFT. It is PROBABLY A HIPPY punchpunchpunchpunch—
Matt Brown (@MattLGHL) February 12, 2013

• Just let us have this. And it came to pass that Urban Meyer’s recycled turtle story, which brought great joy to all corners of God’s green internet, gained such traction that Ohio State’s media relations folks were forced to issue the following statement, which we are printing here in full, caps and italics emphasis faithfully reproduced from the original document:

Date:    Feb. 12, 2013
To:       Media Covering Ohio State Football
What:   Joke

This note is in response to the headlines that are running on the internet that don’t seem to take into consideration that Coach Meyer told a JOKE to a crowd of high school coaches last week. He was telling a story about toughness and he exaggerated a story about toughness. It is the same story he has told numerous times before, including last year at this same convention; only the coach he talked about last year wasn’t Coach Hayes, but Coach Bruce.

So please know: the story about toughness that Coach Meyer shared with a crowd last week and the year before and numerous times before was a joke and only a joke.  

Thank you in advance for your clarifications.

Nothing gold can stay, y’all.

• In happier B1G news … Barry Alvarez says the Big Ten is done scheduling FCS programs. We are pleased. Some other folks are not, and there are valid reasons, but we’d still rather watch New Mexico State than the Citadel. Sorry, the Citadel.

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Our continued best wishes to Tulane’s Devon Walker for a complete recovery. (AP Photo/Tulane University)

Newsy bits of varying degrees of quality from the weekend that was:

• Good news first. “As a senior, I had only a few more credits to get and it would seem like a waste of time for me to have gone through all the struggles I have and just act like I don’t need it any more or act like it wouldn’t help me in the future.” New Orleans’ WWL-TV catches up with Tulane’s Devon Walker, who intends to return to school this fall and wrap up his cell and molecular biology degree.

• And then deer antler spray news, as God intended. Intrepid internet personality Rick Muscles bought him some Bambi shavings at the S.W.A.T.S. gym, which went about how you might expect it to go:

RM: Please remember: a dude with a hologram taped to his nipple was telling me about my second brain.

SH: In your stomach.

RM: In my stomach.

SH: Go on.

• Phrasing. As Friday evening news dumps go, the revelation that Texas offensive coordinator Major Applewhite was disciplined in 2009 for having a relationship with a student was a doozy, and that’s not even counting what may be the most unfortunately placed “during” in sports history:

Deloss Dodds: ""Major Applewhite engaged in inappropriate, consensual behavior with an adult student one time during the 2009 Fiesta Bowl."—
Bob Ballou (@KEYESportsBob) February 02, 2013

Burnt Orange Nation breaks down the situation over here.

• ‘Crootin! When We Get Interested About Recruiting: When we can up our tally of schools holding Signing Day events at Buffalo Wild Wings (New Mexico State makes three!), when the AJC gets to explain what a bong is and when Jim Mora invites everybody over for hot dish, velvet ropes be damned:

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• By the time you see this post, all of this information will be out of date. Just keep this soothing mantra in your minds, and we’ll all get through this together:

When it all boils down, we’re all members of the Human Race Conference. #footballhugs

— Good Bull Hunting (@GBHunting) November 28, 2012

Change begets stress, and even good stress is stress, our mama has always said, so continue those deep, cleansing breaths while you read these releases from Middle Tennessee State and Florida Atlantic announcing their intent to join Conference USA in 2014. Karl Benson is making solar puns in all caps, so give him a little hug if you see him. And our pal Steven Godfrey finally realizes why Rutgers cut him off for a story a couple weeks back.

The Sun Sentinel is reporting that Western Kentucky and New Mexico State may be next, so if it’s all right with y’all we’re going to wait until next week to re-revise our handy realignment graphic.

• Bowltyme! Our postseason schedule is up and running, with new bowl teams added as they’re announced. It’s also in a font large enough for you to read first thing in the morning without your glasses a couple weeks from now, when you sit upright in bed and are terrified you have overslept into the New Mexico Bowl.

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Ty Flournoy-Smith (80), Ken Malcome (24) and the Bulldogs clinched the SEC East title by beating Auburn. (AP)

Snap Judgments from the Week 11 late slate. For more, check out early Snaps, midday Snaps, our recaps of Texas A&M-Alabama and Kansas State-TCU and our complete Top 25 review.

• No. 5 Georgia 38, Auburn 0. Aaron Murray constructed four touchdown drives on Georgia’s first four possessions in Auburn tonight, first throwing three scoring passes to three different receivers, then handing off to Todd Gurley for a rushing touchdown late in the second quarter. Murray finished 18-of-24 with 208 yards and three touchdowns. (You’re not hallucinating, watching replays of that third touchdown pass: Tavarres King played wearing No. 15 tonight to honor injured teammate Marlon Brown.) A breakaway 62-yard run by the other half of the Dawgs’ freshman tailback tandem, Keith Marshall, marked Georgia’s last score late in the third quarter. Gurley and Marshall combined for 19 carries totaling 221 yards.

On a Saturday that saw two of the six undefeated FBS teams fall (so far, that is — Oregon and Cal are tied 7-7 as we’re writing this), the one one-loss team in the AP top five sealed its regular-season conference fate. Georgia is your 2012 SEC East champion and will make a second consecutive trip to the Georgia Dome in December, presumably to face Alabama out of the West. Until then, the Dawgs are finished with SEC play, hosting Georgia Southern next week and Georgia Tech the week after that. Auburn, too, will stay in-state, getting Alabama A&M at home in Week 12 and (presumably!) providing a second division title-clinching game at Alabama in the Iron Bowl.

Said Murray in his postgame remarks: “ Like I’ve been saying all year, you just never know who’s going to win.” That may not be entirely true today, but it’s  a nice sentiment. [BOX | RECAP]

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Dave Clawson is here to hand you this many more losses, Ohio. (AP)

• Bowling Green 26, Ohio 14. In the span of less than two weeks, the Bobcats have lost both their shot at a perfect regular season and an undefeated home season, but this year’s class of seniors will still depart as the winningest in school history. Tyler Tettleton was sacked four times by three different Falcons, but he did manage to become the school’s all-time leading passer, with his 145 aerial yards bumping his career total to 5,475. The Falcons scored 19 points in the second quarter and were led offensively by Anthon Samuel, who rushed for 181 yards and two scores. [BOX | RECAP]

• It’s that time of year. We don’t really get into recruiting as part of our bloggy antics here, but it’s always proper to mark that special day on the calendar when the commitment of the nation’s top recruit is called into question. Keep up with the movements of Robert Nkemdiche with this StoryStream from our friends at SB Nation.

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• Collin Klein and Kenjon Barner would like a word. We can think of a few folks who might take issue with USC’s assertion that Marqise Lee is the best player in college football, but he certainly has a compelling case (and his own hashtag). And will fruitless Heisman arguments stop us from posting kickass highlight reels? They most certainly will not.

• We see what you’re saying, but all we hear is “start looking for parking in New Orleans, like, tomorrow.” Brett “Sources” McMurphy was first to report yesterday that the Sugar Bowl has won the Champions Bowl bidding war and will host an annual SEC-Big 12 champions clash, when it’s not serving as a playoff semifinal site. The first game will take place on Jan. 1, 2015, and the agreement runs through January 2026. So, Arlington for the title game, then?

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Oregon in the top five means we get to post pictures of the Ducks’ mascot all the time. We like it when Oregon is in the top five. (AP)

• Brace yourselves for a largish shock. Alabama tops the AP Poll for the 10th consecutive week, with Oregon holding steady at No. 2. Your BCS top five, in descending order: ‘Bama, Kansas State, Oregon, Notre Dame and Georgia. The Toledo Rockets make what we call an overdue appearance in the BCS standings this week, along with UCLA and Northwestern. Dropping out: Boise State (breaking a 40-week streak), West Virginia, Arizona and Oklahoma State. Stewart Mandel updates SI’s bowl predictions and … is that hope for Louisiana Tech we’re seeing on the horizon?

• Coach firin’ season! No updates to the carousel as of noon Monday, but ominous rumblings are sounding out of Colorado, and we are really enjoying imagining Rex Ryan at Kentucky.

• Injury report story hour. What to make of Collin Klein’s Oklahoma State game injury? … leading Georgia receiver Marlon Brown is finished as a Bulldog after tearing his ACL against Ole Miss, although the program’s director of sports medicine indicated Sunday that “a full recovery is anticipated that will enable him to continue his career in the future” … perpetual South Florida quarterback B.J. Daniels is through with the Bulls after sustaining a broken ankle against UConn … Arizona’s Hank Hobson is out of the hospital …  and Maryland announced Monday the loss of starting MLB and leading tackler Demetrius Hartsfield to a torn ACL, which Patrick Stevens calculates makes five torn ACLs for the Terps this season and the fourth lost team captain in two years.

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Just because Troy Calhoun communicates in a series of airplane noises doesn’t mean you get to call him “Flyboy,” Dave Christensen. (AP)

• So some Mountain West officials walk into an internet café … Dave Christensen getting away with a reprimand for what he said to Troy Calhoun made a lot more sense last week before YouTube video of what Dave Christensen actually said (warning: explicit language) got around. Now that it’s a thing, Christensen will serve a one-week suspension and pay a $50,000 fine. The game he’ll miss will feature his 1-6 Cowboys hosting the 6-1 Boise State Broncos.

• Also double-secret probated. The ACC issued a blanket release covering the various disciplinary actions to be leveled against North Carolina freshman linebacker Shakeel Rashad, two officials from the UNC-Duke game and the entire crew from the FSU-Miami matchup.

• Mark Richt has lost control of … hey, WAIT A MINUTE. Sorry, we just never get to use that joke in real life, and then when we do it feels really weird.

• Bowl projections include forecasts of unceasing sadness. There’s not much we like better than a set of imaginary bowl matchups that includes the phrase “NO ELIGIBLE TEAMS.”

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Perhaps voters merely admired Bret Bielema’s timely icing of Utah State’s kicker to seal a win over the WAC. Yes. They must have. (AP)

• Down in a poll. Feelin’ so small. Alabama and LSU perch atop the AP Poll. This, for the moment, does not worry us. They will play each other and this will sort itself out for real this time and we continue to believe we will not be subjected to a re-rematch. We must believe. Of greater concern for us, as usual, is what is going on in the bottoms of this exercise in folly we, as a society, continue to refer to as the “Coaches’ Poll.” Wisconsin is ranked. This is problematic and dumb. There are a dozen other stupidities lurking behind this link; can you spot them all?

• Get those Lorax costumes pressed. We’re just a couple short weeks away from the restart of the Harvey Updyke trial, and while from an entertainment standpoint we truly resent this being staged during football season, it’s probably best to get it over with while the whole state’s distracted with football good and football bad.

• Mark Richt, refined meanie. Folks ask us sometimes if we miss cussing a blue streak on the job. We do not, because there are ways to make one’s point without uttering so much as a “consarnit” if you really work at it. It’s like writing poetry with a very strict verse structure. Consider this, from Mark Richt on Sunday, on the subject of Week 4 UGA opponent Vanderbilt: “They have a lot of belief, and they’re playing to win it. They’re doing a good job of it.” The Commodores (1-2) recorded their first win of the season Saturday against Presbyterian, after losing in consecutive weeks to South Carolina and Northwestern.

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