Friend of the program and LSU gadabout @thecajunboy tweeted this photo Friday night from a Mardi Gras parade:
Outstanding effort by Krewe d’Etat. No matter the target, we always admire trolling that shows real craftsmanship. Don’t miss the revoked Bobby Hebert press pass at the bottom right.
Wisconsin's Bret Bielema and LSU's Les Miles aired their Signing Day grievances with the media. (Getty)
We have been (professionally and brahsomely) enamored of Bret Bielema and Les Miles since 2006 and 2007, respectively, and the origins of what we would call these man-crushes if we possessed the proper plumbing can be traced to very specific events. Bielema captured our attention with that notoriously trollsome stunt he pulled against Penn State, wherein the Badgers ran out the clock on the first half with a newly acquired 10-3 lead by deliberately running offsides on two kickoffs, leaving the Nittany Lions no time with which to operate once a third was executed. (Wisconsin would go on to win, 13-3.) We have never lived in Big Ten country, but we have a casual favorite Big Ten school, and that is it, and that is why.
Miles, for his part, won our bloggy hearts with his now-legendary “Have a GREAT day” press conference, hastily assembled just prior to the ’07 SEC Championship Game to dispel rumors he was lighting out for the Michigan job. He didn’t go. We were sad about that. We had the best gameday sign that year, and also we did not like watching our football team lose to LSU a whole bunch. But we were Les Miles fans from that moment forward.
Robert Griffin III's showing against Oklahoma was one of this year's indelible moments. (US PRESSWIRE)
It is the third full day of the 2011 offseason and the 2012 preseason. It’s really the second for me, having spent most of Tuesday trying with increasing reluctance to get out of New Orleans. By quick shoddy math, I’ve been on the road 27 days out of the last 41. I got to see a host of familiar faces this season and postseason, and meet so many of you for the first time. I get asked a lot: How did you get into this? If you know me from back home, it usually comes out Why did you get into this? I usually want to talk about Larry, but don’t. It explains things, but it takes a while. From now until August, though, we’ve got nothing but time. Time and recruiting and police blotters and calendar-cussing, and precious little else.
I grew up in a football-loving family in a football-loving town. I was pulled out of school on more than one occasion to get a head start down to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham for the Third Saturday in October. The effects of this did not show up right away, because I was a drama geek from a very young age, and to attend football games and smile through black-painted lips was to plumb the depths of human indignity. Then I went and studied performing arts at a big football university, where we didn’t have shows on home game Saturdays because the audience wouldn’t have had a place to park. This insurmountable logistical problem meant departmental drones could have it both ways, six shows a week and belting out our own operatic harmonies to Rocky Top in the student section on what was supposed to be our day of rest. (I still do this. Just not in the press box.)
Alabama's 21-0 win over LSU in the title game gave Nick Saban his record third BCS championship. (Al Tielemans/SI)
Alabama 21, LSU 0: RECAP | BOX | MANDEL | STAPLES | MORE COVERAGE
Quarterback AJ McCarron and linebacker Courtney Upshaw walk away from Alabama’s latest national title victory with MVP honors, and deservedly so. Now, to reward and shun the rest of the field:
• MVP, replacement part edition: Kevin Norwood, Alabama. The sophomore wide receiver recorded stats in just four games this season, and it’s telling that those games were Kent State, Penn State, Mississippi State and Georgia Southern. Thrust into a greater role tonight after the injury to No. 1 receiver Marquis Maze, Norwood led the team with 78 yards’ worth of catches, including a long of 26 yards, tied for Alabama’s longest reception of the night.
• Play of the game, drama masks edition: Good who’s-boss fun: Maze hurtling downfield with a Brad Wing punt for a 49-yard return, upending entirely our favorite stat of LSU having allowed only six net punt return yards all season. Very bad consequence: Maze messing up his hamstring on the effort and spending the rest of the game on the sidelines.
• Play of the game, Bronx cheer edition: Jordan Jefferson, not too long after being audibly booed in a de facto home game for the national title, broke off an 18-yard run that took the Tigers from midfield to the Alabama 32-yard line, the first time LSU crossed midfield on offense all night. This valiant act, of course, was followed up by a run play that lost three yards, a five-yard penalty, two incomplete passes and a sack on Jefferson that cost LSU 10 more yards and the ball. [SFX: sad trombone]
Les Miles' LSU team avoided its customary stumbles in 2011, winning 13 games and the SEC championship. (Getty)
The 2011 LSU Tigers are the second Bayou Bengals squad to make a title run under Les Miles. Baton Rouge-based teams coached by The Hat are no strangers to fine results and good fortune on the field, but up until now there’s been a reliable stumble — two of them, in fact — in each of the Tigers’ most successful seasons. The 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2010 teams all finished with two losses, making an 11-2 record (12-2 in that rip-snorting ’07 title-winning campaign) Miles’ apparent ceiling. Two losses, always two losses. Can we really be blamed for cheekily predicting in the preseason that LSU would once again hoist a certain crystal ball in New Orleans, but become the country’s first three-loss BCS champion along the way?
The ’07 squad had some realigning to do after an ’06 season that concluded with a Sugar Bowl victory over Notre Dame. Gone was offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher, bound for Florida State. Snatched away in the draft were Jamarcus Russell, Dwayne Bowe, Craig Davis and LaRon Landry. The schedule was one that would do LSU no favors, featuring No. 9 Virginia Tech, No. 14 South Carolina, No. 7 Florida, No. 18 Kentucky (hey, remember that?), No. 19 Auburn and No. 18 Alabama, the last four of those in consecutive weeks. And it wasn’t the best teams on that list who would be the Tigers’ temporary undoing. A Wildcats team riding Andre Woodson into the top 20 and an unranked Arkansas squad got the better of LSU, the latter at home, both in triple overtime.
Missouri’s demise at the hands of Oklahoma in the Big 12 championship game and West Virginia’s brain-boggling upset by Pitt in the 100th Backyard Brawl sent LSU to the title game anyway, but one other opponent came perilously close to canceling that trip before it was even a possibility: No. 7 Florida, itself coming off a national title in 2006. That 28-24 home win was fueled by fourth-down conversions, a fake field goal and a last-minute touchdown scramble by Jacob Hester.
Ole Miss AD Pete Boone (left) will be following Houston Nutt out the door after all. (AP)
• Rebs can’t repel failpower of that magnitude: From the “surprising sweeps that were much needed but still managed to surprise” department: Ole Miss AD Pete Boone will, in fact, follow Houston Nutt out the door in Oxford. Not a moment too soon for some Rebel partisans, but if they’d just installed Admiral Ackbar as mascot as God intended, this never would’ve happened.
• Home for the ruptured: Dan Persa plans to be back in action for Northwestern this weekend. Same for John Brantley at Florida. Over at Tennessee, Tyler Bray has his cast off but won’t be recovered enough from his broken thumb in time to start against Arkansas. And in a bad blow to Texas A&M, Christine Michael has had another season cut short by injury, suffering a torn ACL.
• Roster blotter: Chas Dodd will start at quarterback for Rutgers against Army. LSU’s quarterback decision is less certain. UCLA corner Aaron Hester catches an official reprimand.
Hey, Coach Akey, bring in the punter! (Landov)
• Vandals heroic in their own fashion: Yesterday, Stewart Mandel alerted the internet to the fact that Idaho’s punter has already booted the ball away 61 times at the season’s midpoint. After putting together this morning’s Switzies piece, I was urged by a commenter to check out the Vandals’ total punting yards figure and compare it to their total offensive tallies. You might not be surprised to learn this, but here you go: To date, according to NCAA database statistics, Idaho has recorded 2,938 yards’ worth of punts in 2011 play … and 2,042 yards of total offense. Does this achievement not merit its own pored-over watch list and December trophy?
• Whither, honey badger? Associated Press: “LSU has suspended star cornerback Tyrann Mathieu, defensive back Tharold Simon and running back Spencer Ware for this Saturday’s home game against Auburn because they’ve run afoul of the team’s drug policy, according to a person familiar with the decision.” Les Miles: “I certainly understand the interest surrounding what seems to be news. The problem with that news is it’s internal discipline and internal function of a team. I’m not inclined to be forthcoming with information.” Well, that clears THAT up.
• Dumbest suspension in recorded human history comes to a close: The impeccably named Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe is back in action for Boise State, following a six-game suspension for what were characterized as improper benefits bestowed upon the Amsterdam native by his American host family. Y’know, high-end stuff like food and shelter. Real nefarious character, this kid.
• Quote of the day/Injured list hero: “Colorado free safety Ray Polk has a bad wrist, fractured sternum and concussion and hopes to play Saturday against Oregon.” — Kyle Ringo
Former LSU coordinator Gary Crowton, now at Maryland, blamed the Tigers' offensive woes on head coach Les Miles. (US PRESSWIRE)
Except during that crucial hour between the whistles, college football coaches are an exceedingly polite bunch. This is to the constant frustration of fans who’d like nothing better than to hear exactly what damages Dana Holgorsen and Todd Graham would inflict on one another with crowbars should they ever meet in a dark deserted alley. When the cameras are rolling, the pearly whites are arranged in some snarling rictus that at least halfway resembles a smile. And whenever that face falters, it’s news.
Which brings us to Maryland offensive coordinator Gary Crowton’s Sunday interview in the Baltimore Sun, in which he blames the desiccation of LSU’s recent offensive output on Les Miles:
In a 50-minute interview, Crowton said bluntly that “No, it wasn’t my offense” at LSU and that it would be unfair to make assessments based solely on those four years.
This is sort of a weird salvo to attempt, albeit a plausible one. An unquantifiable offensive philosophy that seemed to consist of “enjoying the horrendous misfires in the passing game that leave our elite receivers sobbing quietly into their mouthguards before occasionally recalling we have a seemingly inexhaustible stable of capable running backs” sounds exactly like something The Hat would cook up in one of his patented fever dreams. But what this does is put Crowton under the gun at Maryland, where much is being made of a top-secret offensive scheme that will somehow showcase his skills in better fashion than he could accomplish at LSU with a bottomless well of talent. (And failing that, will he simply anger the fickle football gods by publicly questioning Baton Rouge’s scary unknowable magic?)
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