Washington State wide receiver Mansel Simmons was reportedly hospitalized over the weekend following an alleged assault by an Idaho football player, according to the Cougars’ Scout site:

Tennant said Mansel Simmons was taken to Pullman Regional Hospital, then transported to a Spokane hospital after reportedly receiving a skull fracture and concussion. [...] Tennant said WSU and Idaho football players were kicked out of a party after they began arguing. “About 20” players gathered across the street in a church parking lot, where the alleged assault took place.

For those of you not up on your Pac-12/WAC geography, Pullman and Moscow are just a short drive apart across the Washington-Idaho border, which makes for frequent interactions between the schools’ respective student bodies. Our best wishes to Simmons for a rapid and complete recovery.

So passes our best hope for an entertaining spring. (AP)

In the most resounding stroke of bad fortune in an offseason fraught with them, Harvey Updyke pled guilty Friday to charges related to the poisoning of Auburn’s beloved oak trees, depriving us all of the opportunity to tailgate a trial. We are sorely disappointed in the legal minds on both sides, although they’re making their excuse sound good:

“We have a significant number of violent felonies awaiting trial in Lee County and I could not in good conscience justify financing a three-week trial merely to arrive at no better a resolution,” Lee County District Attorney Robbie Treese said in a statement.

And while that is all very important, we were going to put on a big hat and white gloves and have a nice picnic on the courthouse lawn to show support for our Auburn pals, consarnit. This could’ve been the In Cold Blood of the internet age, and we are all spiritually poorer for it.

Everybody who wants to see Texas and Texas A&M play again on the regular, raise your hand. (AP)

The annual Texas-Texas A&M clash was one of several longstanding college football rivalries felled by conference realignment, and after just one year off, willingness to restore the tradition by whatever goofy means necessary is already on display. Texas state representative Ryan Guillen has filed a bill to reestablish the series, under threat of scholarship restrictions. (Wait. What?)

If this sounds … curious to you, you’re not alone. We enlisted the kind assistance of SI.com legal analyst Michael McCann, who offers this take on Guillen’s bill, with the obvious part right up front (emphasis ours):

1) I don’t think this bill has a plausible shot of becoming law. Using the law to interfere with the scheduling of college football games seems like a dubious use of legislative authority and government overreach. 

2) If it defies the odds and becomes law, the two schools would likely claim the law is unconstitutional — specifically, the argument would be that the state lacks legal authority to regulate the scheduling of games or at least lacks the authority to regulate the scheduling of games for a non-health reason like this. Scholarships also impact interstate activities, which are usually the domain of the federal government, so that would be another argument against state authority.

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In the dystopian future of the Big East, BBVA Compass Bowl trophies will be a highly valued currency. (AP)

• “Group of five” still just sounds so ominous. Jeremy Fowler reports on the coalescing system the Big East, Conference USA, MAC, Mountain West and Sun Belt are working on to distribute playoff revenue from the new postseason system:

In this proposed system, more than half the group’s roughly $86-million playoff pot would be distributed among the Big East, Mountain West, Mid-American Conference, Conference USA and Sun Belt as guaranteed base shares, according to a source with direct knowledge of the discussions. The source expects those shares to be evenly split, but added discussions are ongoing. The second tier pays out based on a conference’s body of work — the top conference gets the highest amount, then “X” amount for the next-rated conference, and on down. The third tier pays a kicker to the conference with the highest-ranked team, which is guaranteed an access bowl bid or, if among the top-four teams in the country, a semifinal berth in the playoff.

• Harbros’ early broing days. Check out Dan Wetzel’s tale of relatively wee Harbaughs recruiting youngsters to their dad’s team at Western Kentucky, including an appearance by one Willie Taggart.

• Exactly how you would’ve guessed. Former Miami Hurricanes make up the biggest slice of Super Bowl roster pie charts, but two of the next five teams on that list are … Marshall and Utah? Marshall and Utah! Go ThunderUtes!

• From the no-jokes department. Compelling story via OTL on UCLA researchers and evidence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy in living football players.

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The evolving Roger Springfield surveillance scandal has cast a pall over Syracuse University athletics. (AP)

Former Syracuse media director Roger Springfield, fired in December by the university, has been formally charged with unlawful surveillance after being accused of secretly videotaping Syracuse athletes — including football players — in their locker rooms. It gets ickier, if you’d like to read as far down as Springfield’s attorney’s thoughts on the matter:

The defense lawyer said he didn’t want to disclose his defense strategy at this point.

But he also said he did not believe the prosecution would be able to argue the players had an expectation of privacy in the locker room after games.

Syracuse officials initiated the investigation of Springfield in December after discovering one of the videos. The university has since released a statement that reads, in part, “Our priority has been, and will continue to be, the well-being of our student-athletes. We are in direct contact with all of these specific current and former student-athletes, and the University is reaching out to offer them full access to appropriate support and assistance during this time.”

Johnny Football, tiptoeing to greatness with a thunder. (AP)

• Mack Brown offered the Manning Award as a safety. College football’s first freshman Heisman Trophy winner can add another accolade to his surely sagging trophy shelf: Johnny Manziel has won the Manning Award. Manziel entered the national lexicon with last year’s shirtless mugshot follies, won the starting job at Texas A&M as an underclassman, took home the Heisman, obliterated a former conference rival in the Cotton Bowl and will — football gods willing — continue to stay on his “hi, haters” message train throughout the forthcoming offseason. It is getting perilously close to impossible to hate Johnny Football, particularly if you don’t have a rooting interest in a defense that had to play him this year. Congrats, kiddo.

• Coach-firin’ follies. The silly season rolls on in the assistants derby: OUT goes Louisiana defensive coordinator Greg Stewart … IN comes Mario Cristobal at Miami in a most excellent personnel coup for the ‘Canes … and IN comes Ted Roof, back at Georgia Tech? (Related reading: “Has the internet desensitized us to the extraordinary?”)

• Gettin’ drafty. GONE: Tennessee’s three brightest offensive stars. BACK: Tajh Boyd, whose future presence, along with Aaron Murray’s, makes Clemson’s Week 1 date with Georgia an absolute must-watch game. GONE, TEARILY: Outland Trophy winner Luke Joeckel, whose letter to the faithful of Texas A&M you simply must read.

• Roster blotter. Burnt Orange Nation has the latest on the allegations against Case McCoy and Jordan Hicks … charges are expected against Arizona’s Ka’Deem Carey.

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Dave Clawson is here to hand you this many more losses, Ohio. (AP)

• Bowling Green 26, Ohio 14. In the span of less than two weeks, the Bobcats have lost both their shot at a perfect regular season and an undefeated home season, but this year’s class of seniors will still depart as the winningest in school history. Tyler Tettleton was sacked four times by three different Falcons, but he did manage to become the school’s all-time leading passer, with his 145 aerial yards bumping his career total to 5,475. The Falcons scored 19 points in the second quarter and were led offensively by Anthon Samuel, who rushed for 181 yards and two scores. [BOX | RECAP]

• It’s that time of year. We don’t really get into recruiting as part of our bloggy antics here, but it’s always proper to mark that special day on the calendar when the commitment of the nation’s top recruit is called into question. Keep up with the movements of Robert Nkemdiche with this StoryStream from our friends at SB Nation.

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• Duck hunts. Not to be outdone by the LSU-Alabama trailer that dropped earlier this week, Oregon has released its own hype video in honor of the Ducks’ upcoming trip to USC. Among its highlights: The Duck learning to play Oregon Trail and doing the team’s laundry under threat of dysentery from a school employee, the Duck searching for a watch he does not wear, a covert laundry detergent handoff from gold-medal decathalete and Oregon grad Ashton Eaton and the implication that the Duck possesses a commercial driver’s license, which wouldn’t actually surprise anyone. Our one quibble is spelled out neatly by YouTube commenter “ChocolateJesus2K:

Wash uniforms? Oregon doesn’t wear the same thing twice.

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• For the record, we were kidding. Saturday, in the waning minutes of the Texas-Kansas game:

Texas will still be ranked next week. THE COACHES POLL REJECTS YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTES ITS OWN.

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) October 27, 2012

Sunday, in the Coaches’ Poll: The Longhorns move up two slots, from 24 to 22. We will choose our words more carefully when next taunting the spider-gods responsible for college football lists.

Elsewhere in rankings news: Alabama, Kansas State, Notre Dame, Oregon and LSU make up the new BCS top five, with the Ducks dropping two slots and the Wildcats and Fighting Irish rising. That dream of Bill Snyder using a crystal football as a hard candy dish draws ever nearer. … Louisiana Tech appears at BCS No. 25, a program first. … Along with LaTech, Nebraska, Arizona and Oklahoma State move into the rankings this week, replacing the departed Rutgers, Michigan, Ohio and Wisconsin.

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Jerry Sandusky received an effective life imprisonment sentence Tuesday morning. (AP)

• Jerry Sandusky, going away. We trade in irreverencies here, but this is not a matter for lighthearted anything (except for this guy, maybe?), so we will give you some facts instead: Jerry Sandusky was sentenced this morning to 30-60 years in prison. Sandusky plans to appeal. SI.com’s Michael McCann has provided a full report.

• Groh puns! Get your Groh puns! Puns by the thousands! Through six games, Georgia Tech is giving up an average of 431 yards per contest, and Paul Johnson apparently thinks that’s about enough. Defensive coordinator Al Groh’s firing was announced Monday afternoon. Said Groh: “I feel positive that this is a good time in life to move on to a new situation.” Hard to argue with that.

• It is news that Frank Spaziani is not yet fired. Boston College sources have confirmed that Brad Bates will become the school’s new AD.

• Injury report story hour. Following Oregon State’s official release on the matter of Sean Mannion’s knee, we don’t know a great deal more than we did yesterday. The weeks Mannion will miss are still set at “undetermined.” What we do have now, however, is a statement from coach Mike Riley on Mannion’s backup, junior Cody Vaz, and an attempt to dispel that pesky “No one but Sean Mannion has taken a snap at quarterback in 14 games” fear. “Cody is a good quarterback; he’s been preparing for this for a long time. He’s had a ton of reps; in fact he almost had as many as Sean did during fall camp. Cody knows what we are doing, he gets rid of the ball fast and he’s accurate.” He’ll have to be, at BYU.

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