By Holly Anderson

All right, now we’re just free-associating anything having to do with the word “Joker.” This is no slight to his abilities as a head coach, but we like Joker Phillips better right now than we ever have. We are sure this brings him great comfort, and cannot wait to see the forthcoming mockup of all Florida’s offensive assistants dressed like characters from the Riverbottom Nightmare Band.

Come Join The Jokers. #comeplaywrforthejoker http://t.co/OcbyOhgdFn—
Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) May 16, 2013

Sleeper hit of this image construction: The terrifying carnelian eyes of the gator lurking in the background. Nice layering, Joker(‘s graphics interns).

By Holly Anderson

As has become our custom, we will now break down Florida’s latest social media recruiting imagery:

A new horse has been entered into the #derby #comeplaywrforthejoker http://t.co/IIL9WiHadI—
Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) May 01, 2013

Assessments:

• How have we, as a nation, gotten this far into Twitter’s lifespan without seeing a horse with a hashtag for a name?

• When we get a Derby horse we’re naming it Retweets Do Not Equal Enhorsements

• If Jeff Driskel is so tall, why couldn’t he see where he was aiming in the Sugar Bowl?

IT'S TIME TO COME PLAY WR FOR THE JOKER! #ComePlayWRForTheJoker #GatorNation #SpreadTheWord http://t.co/jPTkKEX0rF—
Joker Phillips (@jokerphillips) March 27, 2013

#WannaKnowHowJokerPhillipsGotTheseScars?

#SpoilerAlertItWasMuschamp

#HeGetsBiteyWhenFedAfterMidnight

DeWayne Walker set the coaching carousel spinning once more with his late departure from New Mexico State. (AP)

Tommy Tuberville’s sitting by the phone* and Jimmy Sexton’s got that particular sparkle in his eye. It can mean only one thing: The coach firin’ season is upon us once more. We’ll be tracking the carousel of progress, right here, for as long as it takes to stop spinning. Raise a glass to times past, won’t you? * Well, not anymore, but never tell us we don’t have the gift of very specific prophecy through throwaway jokes.

New Mexico State [updated 02.01.2013]

• Who’s out: DeWayne Walker, who jumps to the NFL with less than two weeks remaining between now and Signing Day. And not even for a coordinating gig: Walker will coach defensive backs for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Walker released the following statement through the athletic department: “I really appreciate the opportunity that Dr. Boston and New Mexico State gave me to be a Division I head football coach. Unfortunately, I did not get the program as far as I would have liked from a wins and losses standpoint. But, we do have a better locker room, better kids and a better foundation for the program moving forward. There are a lot of people that I want to thank for their support and will be reaching out to those individuals in the coming days. They have helped me in moving the program forward. I am excited about starting a new chapter in my coaching career, as is my family. I wish New Mexico State great success in the future and wish everyone the best. Go Aggies!” • Who’s in: Doug Martin — the one who played at Kentucky, not the one who played at Boise State. Although if Martin The Younger is really so opposed to his excellent nickname, we’re gonna refer to Martin The Elder as coach Muscle Hamster instead. It’s been a whirlwind courtship for Martin and the Aggies: He was announced as offensive coordinator on January 17, temporarily promoted to interim head coach on January 24 and will be officially announced as DeWayne Walker’s successor on Monday, February 4. Martin’s previous head coaching experience consists of a seven-year stint at Kent State, from 2004-2010. Read More…

Highlight video of the ballyhooed 1992 RU/VT game. And there is NO QUESTION it was made in 1992. youtu.be/UIlIsa2zphg

— RussellAthleticBowl (@RussellAthBowl) December 3, 2012

We would like to politely request at this time that all footage of the 2012 Rutgers Athletic Bowl adhere to these same retro production values. For continuity, you see.

• Assorted trophy happenings. Your 2012 Heisman finalists, who are somehow still not called “Heis-men,” which will apparently never be satisfactorily explained: Johnny Manziel, Manti Te’o and Collin Klein. Klein has also been bestowed with the Johnny Unitas Award, and Te’o with the Nagurski Trophy. In non-Heis-men news, Notre Dame’s Bob Diaco is the 2012 Broyles Award winner, and Matt McGloin takes home the Burlsworth Award.

Read More…

“Why, yes, this legal pad IS made entirely out of recycled hundred-dollar bills,” Bill Hancock is probably thinking here. (AP)

• Don’t run. We are your friends. SI.com’s Stewart Mandel was in Denver for the playoff meetings Monday and returned with a full report on the near future of college football:

“There will be plenty of money for everybody,” said Hancock. “The bottom line is more.”

Click through for actual details of the approved postseason format and the bowls and spoils in question.

• Roster blotter. Oregon has lost safety Avery Patterson and Tennessee has lost linebacker Curt Magitt, both to torn ACLs. In happier news, an update from Houston on defensive back D.J. Hayden tells us Hayden has been released from the hospital following his freak heart injury sustained last week in practice. The Cougars’ team physician, Walter Lowe, had this to say in a school release:

“Looking at the whole course of events and the severity of the injury, D.J. has progressed remarkably well and is out a lot sooner than expected. He’s got a lot of healing left to do as the procedure to repair the inferior vena cava is much like a heart transplant. The sternum should take around three months to heal and D.J. is expected to be able to resume normal activities without contact in three-to-four months.”

Read More…

• So this makes Nick Saban the Mandarin? LSU’s crack video crew has made a trailer for the upcoming Tigers-Tide game in which Les Miles is Tony Stark, or something. From that, we can infer Saban to be the Sir Ben “Thunderbirds” Thunderbirds-Kingsley in this nonexistent movie, for those of you scoring at home.

• Big morning reading material. Major Tuesday morning movement from the NCAA: “The Division I Board of Directors today adopted an overhauled enforcement structure that creates additional levels of infractions, hastens the investigation process and ratchets up penalties for the most egregious violations.” (We know what you’re about to ask, and we believe Mark Richt’s butt-dialing incident would be a Level IV.)

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• You would have to have absolutely zero familiarity with us to think we’re joking. Stand down, crabby Scout denizens; we’re serious: This is one of the best promo videos we have ever seen. Wonder of wonders, it is actually funny; how often do university videos find success in that department? The gently swaying hips. The “SHUT UP, DENNIS!” The punctuating vending machine punch at the end. Well done, Memphis. [Via.]

• May our children forgive us. The Pac-12 Networks went live Wednesday night, without any untoward destruction of property. There’s a new website, which is unsurprisingly slick. Here is a joke about cupcakes.

Read More…

Joker Phillips isn’t running from Kentucky’s basketball success; he’s embracing it. (AP)

HOOVER, Ala. — In the thankless slot before lunchtime on the longest of SEC Media Days, they scheduled the guy with the up-hilliest job in the SEC. Highlights from Joker Phillips’ time at the mic:

• Phillips talked up the Wildcats’ streak of postseason appearances. In football! Kentucky once put together a five-bowl streak in the twenty-first century. FIVE. This might astonish you, but it is an actual fact. Three Music Cities, a Liberty and a BBVA Compass. The ‘Cats are 3-2 in those games.

• A really interesting question: Did Kentucky winning the national title in basketball this year reinforce the second-class status of the football team at UK? As a native Kentuckian and alum, Phillips said he has no reason to separate himself from basketball. ”I’m selling our basketball program. I’d be crazy to try to fight that.” He described the schools’ hoops prowess as a boon overall for the athletic department. ”We want to hitch our wagon to our basketball program. Who doesn’t want to see those guys play?”

• The inevitable hot seat question popped up, but Phillips had a response at the ready: “I’m not sitting down right now. There’s nothing hot.”