In case anybody was still wondering whether being the starting quarterback at Texas A&M, the second-youngest Heisman Trophy winner in the award’s history and the scion of a well-to-do family would be a pretty neat way to go through life, well:
Birdied 18 to shoot 79 at Pebble Beach and only lost to pops by 3 #progress #FamilyDay http://t.co/Womm4vykEI—
Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) May 12, 2013
How was your weekend? We planted a Meyer lemon tree in our backyard.
Johnny Manziel and AJ McCarron are planning a vacation together. You probably have your own ideas about how this is going to go. The good folks at Good Bull Hunting have even pieced together a detailed itinerary of the trip. We offer our own modest suggestion below based on the remote possibility that this outing is a stealth viral marketing campaign for Guillermo del Toro’s forthcoming robots-versus-aliens summer tentpole feature. Katherine Webb hasn’t been putting in all that diving practice just for reality television, and will make a cameo as an astonishingly young but take-no-prisoners Secretary of Defense. One of the bro-tagonists even looks like Manziel:
Coming this summer. The explosive (really, really explosive) story. Of a bunch of sea-dwelling aliens out to destroy Club La Vela, and the two bros who strapped on giant robot suits to prevent that from happening.
“They never considered we would rise to the challenge.” AJ in the tattoo parlor or Johnny on his preseason Heisman hopes last season? No reason it can’t be both.
Johnny Manziel pointing to his cheering section full of A-list celebrities, presumably. (Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
By Zac Ellis
Another week of spring practice is in the books, and there was no shortage of recent storylines. Here are some news and notes from last week’s biggest developments:
• Texas A&M: If any doubts existed about the possibility of a sophomore slump for Johnny Manziel, last season’s Heisman winner put them to rest in Texas A&M’s spring game. Manziel passed for 303 yards and three touchdowns on Saturday to help his maroon team toppled the white squad, 43-23. Though he rushed only three times for 18 yards, he still managed to complete 24-of-30 passing attempts — an encouraging sign for Aggies fans fretting over the loss of offensive coordinator Kliff Kingsbury to Texas Tech. A stellar spring game doesn’t always translate to successful season, but at least Manziel was picking apart an SEC defense, right?
ANDERSON: Power rankings: Assorted spring football weekend newsbits
• South Carolina: Last week’s news about Jadeveon Clowney’s strained neck all but cemented Clowney’s decision to miss the Gamecocks’ spring game on Saturday. But the defensive end still managed to find his way onto the field. Clowney came off the sidelines without a helmet or pads and caught a pass from quarterback Connor Mitch before tumbling to the ground and, eventually, into the end zone for a 54-yard touchdown. Steve Spurrier isn’t likely to move Clowney to wide receiver anytime soon, but the crowd of 35,218 in Columbia liked what they saw from their star. The black team rolled the garnet squad, 44-30.
Here is Greg Blair, expressing his feelings about getting to play in or watch another excellent Belk Bowl. (Getty Images)
While you were out living your human lives this weekend, we were licking our Internet thumbs and using them to pick up stray crumbs of tangentially football-related news for your Monday leisure reading. Enjoy?
1. Make a Belkful noise, my soul. In the most crucial offseason development in what has been an already newsy offseason, the 2013 date for America’s sweetheart of the postseason has been set. This year’s Belk Bowl will kick off at 3:20 p.m. on December 28. Start priming your punning engines now, brothers and sisters: We have a lot to live up to.
2. In second place only because we are sad Frosty no longer strolls among us. Legendary Pacific Lutheran football coach Frosty Westering, 85, passed away on Friday. Chuck Culpepper’s remembrance of Westering’s life is mandatory reading. Bonus Frosty D-I trivia: One of his granddaughters, former Kansas State basketball player Shalin Spani, is married to one Collin Klein, whom some of you may have heard of.
3. The Nick Saban, Creative Writing Lecturer Hoax. We would pay so much money to sit in on this class if it were a real thing, which, sadly, it is not. (Duh.)
By Zac Ellis
College football fans remember what a freakish athlete Denard Robinson was during his career at Michigan. If his latest outing on the pitcher’s mound is any indication, he certainly should stick to the gridiron. Robinson threw out the first pitch before Tuesday’s game between the Detroit Tigers and Toronto Blue Jays, and, well, it could have gone better. The video is above, and check out the GIF courtesy of CBSSports.com’s Tom Fornelli.
Meanwhile, this seems like as good a time as any to take another look at Texas A&M star Johnny Manziel’s attempt at throwing out a first pitch. At least Johnny Football avoided the dirt, but it’s still just a tad high and outside. View the clip after the jump:
Come back soon, Johnny Football, and tell the haters where they can go. (AP)
Mango deck was tight today…ready to see how squid roe is tonight #turnup—
Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) March 12, 2013
Johnny Manziel told Mark Schlabach he’s quitting Twitter, leaving that shot of him with 2 Chainz as his last significant social media radar blip. It’s no secret to readers here that Johnny Football is our favorite Heisman personality of all time, and in the lean, football-free months all we get of him are Twitter posts and practice reports. Internet, we are the reason we can’t have nice things.
We don’t remember “the winning end of the Cotton Bowl stadium and the losing end of the Cotton Bowl game” being part of Oh The Places You’ll Go!, but it’s been a while:
Celebrating Read Across America Week with Dr. Seuss and @OU_Football at Adams Elementary in Norman! http://t.co/WH63nfalMj—
Oklahoma Sooners (@SoonerSportscom) March 01, 2013
(For real, this, of course, is an excellent initiative. Maybe next week the school can import Johnny Manziel to get these moppets started on reading defenses.)
A felicitous Lundi Gras to all of you, from Johnny Manziel and Denzel Nkemdiche:
Started from bottom now we here OVO. Me and @jmanziel2 my Heisman brother! Mardi grassss!!!!! http://t.co/H1SMg1lf—
Denzel Nkemdiche (@denzelnkemdiche) February 10, 2013
The uninitiated may think of Daniel Moore as an ultra-masculine Lisa Frank for the college football set. (AP)
Daniel Moore, for those of you unfamiliar with Tuscaloosa’s Thomas Kinkade, has earned some measure of fame in SEC country for his oil-paint depictions of glorious moments in Crimson Tide football lore. This offseason, however, he’ll take a rare detour from Rammer Jammerian subject matter to focus on a surprising new project: A portrait of Johnny Football besting Alabama in the Tide’s only loss of 2012. (As the A&M loss didn’t cost ‘Bama a trip to the title game, we suppose he can afford to be gracious.)
Moore’s paintings typically carry simple, sturdy titles, such as “Crimson Dynasty,” “Maximum Block” or “The Winning Connection,” and because it is Tuesday and we literally have nothing better to do, we set out to collect suggestions from our readership for possible titles to adorn this new work. Cast your vote for one of six submissions after the jump:
Happy Tailgating Tuesday, which is not so much “a real thing” as an excuse to post a picture of Bully. (AP)
• Early frontrunner for quote of the offseason, right here. “The only money you’re allowed to spend on the recruit cannot be used in the strip club. Diamond or the Twerk Twins might not care what money you contribute to their hairstylist. The NCAA or the state of Florida might.” Thanks, Miami Herald!
• If they just left it as a giant gaping crater, it could represent the SEC East’s recent record against the West, PAAAOWL. Atlanta’s new College Football Hall of Fame is officially under construction, scheduled for completion by fall of 2014.
• Coach-hirin’ season! On the West Coast, Mark Helfrich has imported Matt Lubick from Duke to serve as Oregon’s passing game coordinator. Back east, Virginia loses offensive coordinator Bill Lazor to Chip Kelly’s NFL staff.
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