In case anybody was still wondering whether being the starting quarterback at Texas A&M, the second-youngest Heisman Trophy winner in the award’s history and the scion of a well-to-do family would be a pretty neat way to go through life, well:
Birdied 18 to shoot 79 at Pebble Beach and only lost to pops by 3 #progress #FamilyDay http://t.co/Womm4vykEI—
Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) May 12, 2013
How was your weekend? We planted a Meyer lemon tree in our backyard.
Johnny Manziel and AJ McCarron are planning a vacation together. You probably have your own ideas about how this is going to go. The good folks at Good Bull Hunting have even pieced together a detailed itinerary of the trip. We offer our own modest suggestion below based on the remote possibility that this outing is a stealth viral marketing campaign for Guillermo del Toro’s forthcoming robots-versus-aliens summer tentpole feature. Katherine Webb hasn’t been putting in all that diving practice just for reality television, and will make a cameo as an astonishingly young but take-no-prisoners Secretary of Defense. One of the bro-tagonists even looks like Manziel:
Coming this summer. The explosive (really, really explosive) story. Of a bunch of sea-dwelling aliens out to destroy Club La Vela, and the two bros who strapped on giant robot suits to prevent that from happening.
“They never considered we would rise to the challenge.” AJ in the tattoo parlor or Johnny on his preseason Heisman hopes last season? No reason it can’t be both.
Here is Greg Blair, expressing his feelings about getting to play in or watch another excellent Belk Bowl. (Getty Images)
While you were out living your human lives this weekend, we were licking our Internet thumbs and using them to pick up stray crumbs of tangentially football-related news for your Monday leisure reading. Enjoy?
1. Make a Belkful noise, my soul. In the most crucial offseason development in what has been an already newsy offseason, the 2013 date for America’s sweetheart of the postseason has been set. This year’s Belk Bowl will kick off at 3:20 p.m. on December 28. Start priming your punning engines now, brothers and sisters: We have a lot to live up to.
2. In second place only because we are sad Frosty no longer strolls among us. Legendary Pacific Lutheran football coach Frosty Westering, 85, passed away on Friday. Chuck Culpepper’s remembrance of Westering’s life is mandatory reading. Bonus Frosty D-I trivia: One of his granddaughters, former Kansas State basketball player Shalin Spani, is married to one Collin Klein, whom some of you may have heard of.
3. The Nick Saban, Creative Writing Lecturer Hoax. We would pay so much money to sit in on this class if it were a real thing, which, sadly, it is not. (Duh.)
Come back soon, Johnny Football, and tell the haters where they can go. (AP)
Mango deck was tight today…ready to see how squid roe is tonight #turnup—
Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) March 12, 2013
Johnny Manziel told Mark Schlabach he’s quitting Twitter, leaving that shot of him with 2 Chainz as his last significant social media radar blip. It’s no secret to readers here that Johnny Football is our favorite Heisman personality of all time, and in the lean, football-free months all we get of him are Twitter posts and practice reports. Internet, we are the reason we can’t have nice things.
Your weekend roundup of college football players hanging out with rap stars: First, we got Georgia’s Watts Dantzler dressing up Waka Flocka Flame on Friday night:
Waka rocking my shirt haha #GoDawgs http://t.co/5hQcnGtZLq—
Watts Dantzler (@wattsdantzler) March 23, 2013
Then, Saturday night brought tidings of Johnny Football and 2 Chainz.
And we thought we saw one of the Indigo Girls at the grocery store on Sunday, so.
We don’t remember “the winning end of the Cotton Bowl stadium and the losing end of the Cotton Bowl game” being part of Oh The Places You’ll Go!, but it’s been a while:
Celebrating Read Across America Week with Dr. Seuss and @OU_Football at Adams Elementary in Norman! http://t.co/WH63nfalMj—
Oklahoma Sooners (@SoonerSportscom) March 01, 2013
(For real, this, of course, is an excellent initiative. Maybe next week the school can import Johnny Manziel to get these moppets started on reading defenses.)
Marcus Mariota may not have a Heisman Trophy just yet, but would you look at those cheekbones?
Mark Helfrich, spittin’ fire in the general direction of College Station:
Johnny Football is spectacular, but know this: Physically, he’s no Mariota.
“We had Johnny and Marcus both committed,” Helfrich says, “and we ended up with the taller, faster, better-looking guy.”
Careful, coach. Don’t want to throw gasoline on the storied Ducks-Aggies rivalry. (Read the rest of Steve Greenberg’s piece for more from Mariota himself.)
A felicitous Lundi Gras to all of you, from Johnny Manziel and Denzel Nkemdiche:
Started from bottom now we here OVO. Me and @jmanziel2 my Heisman brother! Mardi grassss!!!!! http://t.co/H1SMg1lf—
Denzel Nkemdiche (@denzelnkemdiche) February 10, 2013
Our continued best wishes to Tulane’s Devon Walker for a complete recovery. (AP Photo/Tulane University)
Newsy bits of varying degrees of quality from the weekend that was:
• Good news first. “As a senior, I had only a few more credits to get and it would seem like a waste of time for me to have gone through all the struggles I have and just act like I don’t need it any more or act like it wouldn’t help me in the future.” New Orleans’ WWL-TV catches up with Tulane’s Devon Walker, who intends to return to school this fall and wrap up his cell and molecular biology degree.
• And then deer antler spray news, as God intended. Intrepid internet personality Rick Muscles bought him some Bambi shavings at the S.W.A.T.S. gym, which went about how you might expect it to go:
RM: Please remember: a dude with a hologram taped to his nipple was telling me about my second brain.
SH: In your stomach.
RM: In my stomach.
SH: Go on.
• Phrasing. As Friday evening news dumps go, the revelation that Texas offensive coordinator Major Applewhite was disciplined in 2009 for having a relationship with a student was a doozy, and that’s not even counting what may be the most unfortunately placed “during” in sports history:
Deloss Dodds: ""Major Applewhite engaged in inappropriate, consensual behavior with an adult student one time during the 2009 Fiesta Bowl."—
Bob Ballou (@KEYESportsBob) February 02, 2013
Burnt Orange Nation breaks down the situation over here.
• ‘Crootin! When We Get Interested About Recruiting: When we can up our tally of schools holding Signing Day events at Buffalo Wild Wings (New Mexico State makes three!), when the AJC gets to explain what a bong is and when Jim Mora invites everybody over for hot dish, velvet ropes be damned:
The uninitiated may think of Daniel Moore as an ultra-masculine Lisa Frank for the college football set. (AP)
Daniel Moore, for those of you unfamiliar with Tuscaloosa’s Thomas Kinkade, has earned some measure of fame in SEC country for his oil-paint depictions of glorious moments in Crimson Tide football lore. This offseason, however, he’ll take a rare detour from Rammer Jammerian subject matter to focus on a surprising new project: A portrait of Johnny Football besting Alabama in the Tide’s only loss of 2012. (As the A&M loss didn’t cost ‘Bama a trip to the title game, we suppose he can afford to be gracious.)
Moore’s paintings typically carry simple, sturdy titles, such as “Crimson Dynasty,” “Maximum Block” or “The Winning Connection,” and because it is Tuesday and we literally have nothing better to do, we set out to collect suggestions from our readership for possible titles to adorn this new work. Cast your vote for one of six submissions after the jump:
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