DeWayne Walker set the coaching carousel spinning once more with his late departure from New Mexico State. (AP)

Tommy Tuberville’s sitting by the phone* and Jimmy Sexton’s got that particular sparkle in his eye. It can mean only one thing: The coach firin’ season is upon us once more. We’ll be tracking the carousel of progress, right here, for as long as it takes to stop spinning. Raise a glass to times past, won’t you? * Well, not anymore, but never tell us we don’t have the gift of very specific prophecy through throwaway jokes.

New Mexico State [updated 02.01.2013]

• Who’s out: DeWayne Walker, who jumps to the NFL with less than two weeks remaining between now and Signing Day. And not even for a coordinating gig: Walker will coach defensive backs for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Walker released the following statement through the athletic department: “I really appreciate the opportunity that Dr. Boston and New Mexico State gave me to be a Division I head football coach. Unfortunately, I did not get the program as far as I would have liked from a wins and losses standpoint. But, we do have a better locker room, better kids and a better foundation for the program moving forward. There are a lot of people that I want to thank for their support and will be reaching out to those individuals in the coming days. They have helped me in moving the program forward. I am excited about starting a new chapter in my coaching career, as is my family. I wish New Mexico State great success in the future and wish everyone the best. Go Aggies!” • Who’s in: Doug Martin — the one who played at Kentucky, not the one who played at Boise State. Although if Martin The Younger is really so opposed to his excellent nickname, we’re gonna refer to Martin The Elder as coach Muscle Hamster instead. It’s been a whirlwind courtship for Martin and the Aggies: He was announced as offensive coordinator on January 17, temporarily promoted to interim head coach on January 24 and will be officially announced as DeWayne Walker’s successor on Monday, February 4. Martin’s previous head coaching experience consists of a seven-year stint at Kent State, from 2004-2010. Read More…

• You a Terp? Maryland has announced walk-on football tryouts for Wednesday, January 30. You must be a full-time, currently enrolled student to be eligible for consideration.

This is also your reminder that heading into Maryland’s last regular-season football game of 2012, this is what Maryland’s injury report looked like. So if you’re an aspiring quarterback, we’re honestly not sure whether to tell you to show up or stay away.

• Meanwhile, while the internet was caving in on itself …  Lost yesterday in the avalanche of news shocks was the announcement that the Mountain West has retaken San Diego State. (We’re choosing to picture this as a giant Risk board in action. The Big 12 is clearly Australia.) We have an MWC source who’s promised to tell us the second the conference poaches UCLA, and y’all will be the first to know after that.

• Coach-hirin’ follies! Go right on ahead and apply for Chip Kelly’s old job, and be sure and let us know how that works out … here is a magnificent lead followed by Rob Mullens’ insistence that he has no clubhouse leaders in mind for Kelly’s vacant seat … John-El lands at DII Fort Lewis College … Utah passing coordinator Aaron Roderick will take the OC slot at BYU [UPDATE: No he won't!] … Louisiana Tech won’t have to re-glaze any of its “I <3 OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR TONY” mugs … Tim Rosenbach joins the UNLV staff as OC.

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• You heard the national champion Gopher women’s hockey team. “Do the Gopher!” they say. “Don’t mind if we do!” say we.

• Sadness and bitter recriminations roundup! Friends of the Program dives into Arkansas messageboardlandia … Wake Forest “wins” this week’s Spike Factor … shake it off, BYU … angry Memphian football types, you have been scorned by Notre Dame; please respond proportionally … and Colorado offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy will move from the booth to the sidelines for the Buffs’ upcoming Washington State game; no word on how that will help Colorado avoid giving up more than the 69 points it surrendered to Fresno State.

• “Don’t lie to yourself, or to America.” Pat Forde breaks down the holy rules of field-storming.

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What wacky antics will Kent State football provide for our viewing entertainment this week? The answer may surprise you! (AP)

• MACtion, MACtion, we want some MACtion. Welcome, brothers and sisters, to the first of those glorious weeks of the 2012 season where there is only one day without football. That day is today, so once y’all stagger out of bed on short rest after last night’s interminable Monday Night Football game, put on your game faces. All evening errands must be run, all loved ones and pets reminded you are aware of their existence, all today. Tomorrow brings the first Wednesday-night MACtion of the year in the form of Kent State-Buffalo; Thursday is BYU-Boise State and Friday features Baylor-ULM. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the Warhawks by missing kickoff for a trip to the hardware store, now would you? You know how they get when they’re angry.

• In defense of not wanting one’s arm to fall off. The backlash to the backlash to James-Franklin-The-Player’s decision not to shoot up his shoulder and play against the Sun Devils is well underway in columnist circles; here’s the Post-Dispatch’s take.

• Assorted bowl updates of varying degrees of importance. Could the number of postseason bowl games be creeping up already? … the Orange Bowl wheels and deals … and UCF’s appeal of its postseason ban is official.

• Monteé Ball case update. Three people have been charged in the August assault of Monteé Ball; all are Wisconsin students.

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Assorted bests and worsts from the weekend that was:

Tino Sunseri: Making football things happen since RIGHT NOW, haters. (AP)

• Best gotcha. From Pitt’s sports information department: “Each of Pitt’s five wins over Virginia Tech have come against nationally ranked Hokie squads (No. 13/13 in 2012; No. 5/5 in 2003; No. 3/3 in 2002; No. 12/13 in 2001 and No. 19/20 in 1997).” In other news to make you question whether that blue you’re seeing is really blue, Tino Sunseri is your Big East Offensive Player of the Week.

• Worst portents. First, we offended a couple Twitter followers over the weekend with a lively animated GIF of Smokey’s hindquarters, so if your employer thinks dogs should always wear pants, do not click this link. Second, remember always that the gods of sport are capricious, and never, ever Tempt The Wrath Of The Whatever From High Atop The Thing:

Pastor leading Lord’s Prayer at Neyland Stadium skipped “amen” and went straight to “Go Big Orange!”

— Mark Schlabach (@Mark_Schlabach) September 15, 2012

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After a lengthy and valiant campaign, Utah’s Jordan Wynn is hanging up his cleats. (AP)

• Wynn out. Two games into his fourth year as the Utes’ starting quarterback, Jordan Wynn is calling it a career after re-injuring his shoulder in Friday night’s loss to Utah State. He’ll hold a press conference at 3 p.m. ET today at the school’s football complex to announce his decision, but the thought process behind the move is sadly clear: He’s already been through three shoulder surgeries and a long, long Pac-12 schedule stretches out in front of the Utes. Wynn graduated with an economics degree in May and has since been pursuing a second degree in sociology, and while it’s unclear at the moment what his future with the team holds, we hope rumors of him staying on in some capacity as an assistant are true; between Wynn and Brian Johnson, there’s the last six years of starting experience at Utah to pass on to the next quarterback.

• Injury report story hour. In Arkansas injury news: John L. Smith said at his Monday press appearance that Tyler Wilson “still has some symptoms, grogginess. He will not go to the field until the doctors OK him and he is symptom free.” The team is preparing for Alabama with Brandon Allen at quarterback. Tevin Mitchel has been released from the hospital but will not play this week, and Kody Walker will miss the rest of the season.

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Cincinnati quarterback Munchie Legaux, seen here in a fair approximation of most of last night’s game. (AP)

• Cincinnati 34, Pitt 10.  “We need to play our type of football,” Paul Chryst said in his halftime interview. With respect, we would suggest that Pitt’s current type of football has given up 65 points and scored 27 within the past calendar week, and that the Panthers should perhaps try another kind instead.

Munchie Legaux recorded 322 all-purpose yards and two touchdown passes, both of them tossed to the Downton Abbey-ishly named Ralph David Abernathy IV. George Winn scored two rushing touchdowns for the Bearcats, including a 58-yard run on Cincinnati’s first offensive play. Pitt’s Tino Sunseri was sacked six times and threw a field goal as the clock ran out on the first half that was cruelly ignored on the scoreboard.

For more on the actual football played Thursday night, you may click on the following helpful links. Have a great day. [BOX | RECAP]

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You know, 96 passing yards is 96 too many, amirite, PJ? May we call you PJ? (AP)

• No. 16 Virginia Tech 20, Georgia Tech 17 (OT). Andy Staples took in the final game of opening weekend last night in Blacksburg, and we’re glad he was there, because without him we’re not sure we could picture Tevin Washington doing all this:

Washington, who averaged only 11.5 pass attempts a game in 2011 running Johnson’s triple option, suddenly turned into Joe Montana at the end of the Yellow Jackets’ final drive in regulation. Georgia Tech’s offense wasn’t even supposed to be on the field, but Johnson had an epiphany borne of frustration as the Yellow Jackets — down 14-10 — faced fourth-and-6 from the Virginia Tech 37 with 3:03 remaining in regulation. Johnson had planned to punt and try to pin the Hokies inside the 10. Given Virginia Tech’s limited offensive success to that point, it seemed a sound plan. Then Johnson scrapped it. [...] So Johnson called timeout, gathered his offense and called a play. Washington, who had completed seven of 11 pass attempts at that point, scrambled around and found B.J. Bostic for a 19-yard gain. Three plays later, Washington found a wide-open Deon Hill for a 10-yard touchdown.

Paul Johnson may have called those passes himself, but rest assured he does not approve, and probably blames putting the ball in the heathen air for the Jackets’ loss.

• Before and after. Favorite pre- and postgame reactions, from our own producer and GT’s assistant AD:

These Georgia Tech unis give new meaning to ‘Hivemind, activate!’

— Mallory Rubin (@MalloryRubin) September 3, 2012

A #GaTech fan e-mailed insisting we protest loss to VT . Why? VT kicker didn’t have mouthpiece in for winning kick. I’ll get right on that.

— Dean Buchan (@DeanBuchan) September 4, 2012

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In approximately 73 hours, the 2012 college football season will commence. We take back almost every catty thing we ever said about Jessica Dorrell and Bobby Petrino, because their dalliance brought John L. Smith back to the SEC and put him in front of a microphone. Stay forever and coach forever and a day, John-El.

Three days.

Lane Kiffin, seen here pondering the ineffable integrity of the Coaches’ Poll. Probably. (AP)

Lovingly curated light reading to speed you through to the weekend:

There are a couple things happening in Los Angeles right now that we’re going to sort of mash together here. See if you can keep up, because both tales are of vital importance to your very existence.

• The part where Jim Mora is all “LOL USC is full of murders” and then has to act like he’s sorry he said that. So UCLA’s new head ballcoach tried the white salmon trick on the radio, at the expense of his crosstown rivals. Here we have to go straight to excerpting the L.A. Times story on the matter because we don’t want you to miss a word:

Mora, discussing recruiting on the Roger Lodge radio show, said he makes a point to tell parents how safe it is at UCLA, noting, “We don’t have murders a block from our campus.”

The murder of two Chinese graduate students near the USC campus in April became international news. But Mora said Thursday that he was speaking only about the UCLA campus. “I just said our campus is safe,” Mora said. “I didn’t say anything about anyone else’s campus. I just said it about our campus. I didn’t mention another campus. We don’t have anybody getting murdered a block off of our campus.

“If anybody, whether USC or Cal State San Bernardino, is offended by the statement, then that’s their insecurity, not mine.”

Mora later delivered something at least remotely resembling an apology, although we are not precisely sure why he bothered. If you’re the guy who’s OK insinuating to parents that their sons might be murdered if they sign with the Trojans, and then bring up that recruiting tactic on live radio, at least stick the landing. Own that. (It’s also worth noting that we are absolutely certain this kind of gambit is employed in recruiting all over the country — but that you don’t hear those guys bringing it up on the radio. Ten points from Hufflepuff, J-Mo.) And, more importantly for internetting purposes, why on earth would you leave yourself open to the obvious and scathing retort?

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