Happy Tailgating Tuesday, which is not so much “a real thing” as an excuse to post a picture of Bully. (AP)

• Early frontrunner for quote of the offseason, right here. “The only money you’re allowed to spend on the recruit cannot be used in the strip club. Diamond or the Twerk Twins might not care what money you contribute to their hairstylist. The NCAA or the state of Florida might.” Thanks, Miami Herald!

• If they just left it as a giant gaping crater, it could represent the SEC East’s recent record against the West, PAAAOWL. Atlanta’s new College Football Hall of Fame is officially under construction, scheduled for completion by fall of 2014.

• Coach-hirin’ season! On the West Coast, Mark Helfrich has imported Matt Lubick from Duke to serve as Oregon’s passing game coordinator. Back east, Virginia loses offensive coordinator Bill Lazor to Chip Kelly’s NFL staff.

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Bagel al pastor, anyone?

“The NCAA is no longer worried about what is going on bagels. That is, until some football staff decides to set out lunch meats, pizza bagels or grill steaks and serve them to players on half a bagel.” — Bylaw Blog author John Infante, January 22

Here at Campus Union, we pride ourselves on performing regular acts of public service. Today’s project, dedicated to all those athletic programs out there suddenly freed from the shackles of dry bagels: providing delicious between-meal snack ideas for elite athletes with a wide-ranging variety of dietary needs.

The Burrito Bagel

INGREDIENTS

• Large flour tortillas
• Large quantities of meat (beef, goat, chicken or pork)
• Refried beans
• Cooked well-seasoned rice
• A good melting cheese such as Manchego
• Diced hot peppers
• Bagels

DIRECTIONS

Gently heat tortillas in frying pan, or in oven in single layers on baking sheets. Slow-roast selected meat over outdoor mesquite fire. Layer meat, beans, rice, cheese and peppers down center of tortilla; fold in tortilla edges to form wrap. Slice diagonally into halves; slice bagels horizontally in half. Top bagel halves with burrito halves. Serve with lime wedges.

More quick and satisfying snack ideas after the jump:

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This Nebraska training table facility does not, as far as we know, feature a butter sculpture of Bo Pelini, but you get the idea. (AP)

As a follow-up to Friday’s post on the demise of the much-maligned bagel rule, we’ve asked Bylaw Blog author John Infante to walk us through just what happened at the NCAA Convention to eliminate the need for monitoring of cream cheese, and just what might happen next. (If you’re wondering how this all became necessary in the first place, Infante’s October write-up on the regulation is a thorough primer.)

SI.com: In laypeople’s terms, how did we come to be rid of the cream cheese prohibition?

John Infante: The Legislative Council decided to delete the interpretation that says bagels cannot have spreads or toppings. The rule, which allows schools to provide unlimited fruits, nuts and bagels at any time, says nothing about cream cheese, butter, peanut butter, lox, you name it. That means that the NCAA is no longer worried about what is going on bagels. That is, until some football staff decides to set out lunch meats, pizza bagels or grill steaks and serve them to players on half a bagel.

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Monteé Ball’s last name is also a football word, which should save us all some headline writing time once he finally breaks this record. (AP)

Saturday college football games of varying degrees of interest, grouped in highly subjective categories. For more preview content, visit Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

• Biggest game with nothing riding on it: No. 6 Ohio State at Wisconsin, 3:30 p.m. ET. The Badgers already know they’re headed to Indianapolis, as the only other teams with fewer than three conference losses in the Leaders Division (the Buckeyes and Penn State) are ineligible for postseason play. But a win here would be the biggest [screw]-you moment for Urban Meyer since the 2008 Florida-Georgia game. And if you think Urban Meyer doesn’t live for [screw]-you moments, please see the 2008 Florida-Georgia game.

What is actually at stake: The NCAA all-time career touchdowns record, currently sitting at 78 and held by former Miami RedHawk Travis Prentice. Monteé Ball is one score away from tying and two away from breaking this record, and he has a chance to do both at home. He recorded 198 rushing yards and three scores last week against Indiana; if Ball does break the record, expect to hear the hollering in Madison as far away as Kentucky, and expect little bits of glitter to spew from this page. (Please protect your eyes accordingly.)

• Biggest game we feel like we couldn’t predict if our lives depended on it: No. 21 USC at No. 17 UCLA, 3:05 p.m. We have well established at this point in the season that even when relying on math and the best available logic, picking games is tricky work. It’s much more fun, and equally ineffective, to rely on factors like spite and cussedness and probably-imaginary-but-maybe-not-surefire jinxes to decide, particularly in rivalry matchups, which is why this weekend’s clash in the Rose Bowl scares the hell out of us. Some factors to consider: Whose coach to dislike (or grudgingly admire) more? Is it cosmically dangerous to even bring up that “football monopoly” talk at this point? Can we straight-up call this game for USC because keeping an opposing team’s costumed representative from poking one’s field with a sword is the furthest possible thing from a power move imaginable?

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Tajh Boyd displays fierce jazz hands and passing acumen. (AP)

• No. 14 Clemson 42, Wake Forest 13. Where to begin: Clemson’s Tajh Boyd set school records for single-game passing yards (428) and touchdown passes in a half (five). That also ties his own single-game touchdown passing record, which he shares with Cullen Harper. Each scoring pass was thrown to a different receiver. Sammy Watkins caught balls with a vengeance, if that’s possible, setting a program record for single-game receiving yards (202 on eight catches). And we may have already sourced the Deacs’ primary error, which is quite correctable: Y’ALL S’POSED TO BE TURNIN’ LEFT IN THAT THING. [BOX | RECAP]

• No longer technically under our purview, but …  Former LSU teammates Tyrann Mathieu, Jordan Jefferson, Karnell Hatcher and Derrick Bryant were arrested yesterday on drug charges after officers were summoned to Mathieu’s apartment complex pursuing a complaint that “a man [was] attempting to force his way in to the complex through a security gate.” (The interloper in question was Jefferson, if any of you have any remaining jokes you’d like to burn off about his abilities against other kinds of defenses.)

• Now here’s some sunshine. “Head coaches in football and basketball will be held directly accountable for NCAA rules violations by members of their coaching staff in radically new legislation that is expected to be adopted Tuesday by the Division 1 Board of Directors,” and it just gets spicier from there. Our pal and former colleague George Schroeder has more.

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• Baby Mangino, you had a hell of a run. You achieved internet glory and are surely a robust and take-no-prisoners schoolchild by now. We wish you all the best, and must now pass your mantle to another:

Best Halloween costume ever #ThrowbackThursday #kstate twitpic.com/b59y5x

— D. Scott Fritchen (@DScottFritchen) October 18, 2012

• No. 2 Oregon 43, Arizona State 21. Stewart Mandel took in last night’s carnage in Tempe:

For exactly three plays Thursday, No. 2 Oregon looked mortal. On second down of the Ducks’ first possession, the quarterback fumbled. One play later, Arizona State quarterback Taylor Kelly threw a 28-yard touchdown.

“I don’t know if there can be a worst start,” said Oregon defensive coordinator Nick Aliotti. “And then we decided that maybe, possibly we wanted to play today.”

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• Catlab. For the moments of your lives. Frank Solich and Rufus star in a Wednesday dance break that could only have come from catlab.

• Devon Walker update. And now for something completely serious: a hello from Walker himself. ”Thank you everyone for your prayers and well-wishes. This has been so hard on my family and friends. I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for your generosity and support. I especially want to thank everyone who sent cards and letters. I read each and every one. They give me the inspiration to keep on pushing. Your words of encouragement are helping me so much. Thank you also to those who organize, attend and contribute in countless ways to the many fundraisers being held in my honor. I am truly blessed. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. — Love You All, Devon Walker #18″

More from Walker and his family here.

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Our 10 imaginary trophies celebrating on- and off-field favorites at the season’s midpoint. The Switzies are named for former Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer, patron saint of college football frolicking. For more midseason content, check out our Crystal Ball staff predictions, midseason All-America Team, podcast roundtable and Halfway Heisman.

• Best new toy. Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M. He arrived on the national scene in a shirtless mugshot in the 2012 preseason, won the starting job for the Aggies as a redshirt freshman and then, wonder of wonders, turned out to be really good at football things. He stars in our Midseason Play of the Year, Defense (And Offense) (At The Same Damn Time), along with Christine Michael and Louisiana Tech’s Chip Hester and Mike Schrang:

• Midseason Play of the Year, Just Offense. This Bryan Bennett and Colt Lyerla touchdown raised a crucial question: Can scoring stats be split like sacks?

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• Bleep, bloop, Buckeyes. Ohio State’s marching band did a video game-themed halftime show, and if you haven’t seen it yet, be reassured: Your Monday is made.

If your heart doesn’t skip a beat at their Tetris formations, we cannot be friends. Sorry. [Via.]

• To the business at hand. The polls are out! What to do when three top-five teams get knocked out in the space of a single Saturday, including No. 4 LSU? Rank early Tigers opponent Washington No.13, among other atrocities, if you’re Glenn Guilbeau. Full AP Top 25 is here; the Biased And/Or Willfully Disinterested SIDs’ Poll can be found here.

• Injury report story hour. Missouri’s James Franklin will miss the Alabama game with an MCL injury, which is good news for James Franklin’s limbs and less good for his teammates.

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