• Expect to see this discussed in tonight’s vice presidential debate. Finally, an NCAA crackdown on the scourge of inartfully faked lens flares.

In addition to Instagram, coaches can’t use the Add-A-Kitty app. Altering the photo with a cat would make it a no-no: twitter.com/RazorbackRules…

— RazorbackRules (@RazorbackRules) October 10, 2012

• Hair news of vital importance. Here is a news release from Stanford that we feel compelled to reprint in its entirety:

STANFORD, Calif. – The mullet that once graced the head of defensive end Ben Gardner has returned.

“I didn’t want to bring it back, to be honest,” Gardner said. “I cut it last year after the final game of the regular season, and then we ended up losing the Fiesta Bowl. You wouldn’t believe all the crap I took from teammates blaming the loss on my lack of mullet.

“At the end of the day, they kind of convinced me they needed it. I brought it back for one more final hurrah. I’m going to keep it to the end of the bowl. Maybe we’ll cut it in the locker room after the game.”

So, just so we’re straight, the mullet was to blame for the 41-38 overtime loss to Oklahoma State and not Cowboys’ receiver Justin Blackmon?

“According to the other 100 guys in the locker room, it was my mullet,” Gardner contested.

Our very best wishes to Mr. Gardner in all his coiffure-related endeavors.

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Here we see Dri Archer running away from Buffalo’s defense. This happened a lot on Wednesday night. (AP)

• Kent State 23, Buffalo 7. It is expected, in major college football, that there will be punches and that those punches need to be rolled with, with all speed. Accidents happen. Injuries crop up. But we can’t really fault Buffalo for dropping a game in which four of its starters got knocked out, particularly when one of those was star running back Branden Oliver. Oliver missed the second half with what was announced as only a “leg injury”; strong safety Issac Baugh, wide receiver Fred Lee and defensive end Steven Means were also out by the end of the evening.

Also not helpful for Buffalo: Kent State running back Dri Archer. The junior edged out teammate Trayion Durham, 127 rushing yards to 112, our favorite being a 57-yard second-quarter scramble that included an ice-cold spin move to break a tackle. [BOX | RECAP]

• Daily inspiration. Disappointed in last night’s game? Understandable. But understand that better things lie ahead:

Heady move starting #MACtion with Kent State-Buffalo. Weeded out the flybys. For those with patience, it’ll be rewarded

— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) September 20, 2012

BYU and Boise State kick off at 9 p.m. ET. Join us, won’t you?

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• Georgia State has a night game this weekend. The Panthers play UTSA at 6 p.m. ET, a fact you will not forget, because they went and made this video to remind you. Please change your mind about retirement, Bill Curry. Please?

• Injury report story hour. Duke defensive end Justin Foxx had hand surgery on Tuesday and will be out indefinitely.

• Teams that will not be featured in injury report story hour: USC has de-banned Scott Wolf from practice, but remember yesterday when we said barring reporters from reporting on player injuries sounded like a move characteristic of a team much worse at football than USC? Good morning, Washington! Local sportswriters, your thoughts?

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Tired of reading exclusively about Missouri, Texas A&M and LSU heading into the weekend? We’ve got you covered. Read about the rest of the action in our Saturday Superlatives, which are kind of like preseason awards for the upcoming weekend of football, and just as binding. For additional preview content heading into Week 2, check out Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.

• Best Worst Anniversary. It’s Auburn-Mississippi State weekend, which means it’s the anniversary of No. 9 Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2. It also means it’s time to drag our favorite decrepit video down out of the bloggy attic.

We had what our parents called a “real job” in 2008, and constructed this 3-2 tribute video the Monday after the game on some ancient version of Quicktime while rendering something we were actually being paid to make in Final Cut. The video is grainy, but think of that aspect as a tribute to the quality of play captured. The end product is raggedy and not aging well, and it might just be the work we are most proud of in our entire lives.

Dan Mullen, discussing Auburn on his radio show tonight: “Hey, I’ll take a 3-2 win.” #2008

— Brandon Marcello (@bmarcello) September 7, 2012

PLEASE. PLEASE OH PLEASE. PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN, DAN MULLEN POWERS. Week 2 proffers a uniquely terrible slate of games overall, and another 3-2 finish would be its crowning achievement. Auburn is looking to avoid an 0-2 start after an opening-week loss to Clemson, while Mississippi State is coming off a 56-9 win over Jackson State.

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Tracking the zeitgeist through college football’s opening weekend.

I like that when we play overseas, we send Navy. Just in case.

— Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) September 1, 2012

Mark Richt has lost control of my bougainvilleas.instagr.am/p/PC6_QMrv3n/

— sarah sprague (@sarah_sprague) September 1, 2012

Casual Todd Blackledge is disconcerting, like seeing your teacher at the grocery store

— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) September 1, 2012

Somewhere, I imagine Derek Dooley’s mom visibly seething that her son is on national television with his shirt untucked like a heathen.

— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 1, 2012

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• This is what you’re missing if you’re not following Herb Hand on Twitter. What is it with offensive line coaches associated with Vanderbilt? Hand has yet to mention turkey insemination practices in any of his public appearances, but in popping up on video doing the worm for a meeting room full of hollering student-athletes, he proves himself an able successor to the charms of Robbie Caldwell.

• A felicitous Athletic Director Shufflemas to all. Clemson AD Terry Don Phillips is reportedly retiring, while Arkansas State’s is being “reassigned.”

• We are confident this is the last we will hear of this story. Former Penn State players would like to appeal Penn State’s sanctions, please. NCAA: “The Penn State sanctions are not subject to appeal.” Moving on! Read More…

We have finally figured out what’s bothering us about the concept of being buried in sports attire or in a team-branded casket or whatever, and it’s the same reason raising statues to living heroes makes us nervous: The capacity for future disappointment. We’ve talked in this space about what might happen to Nick Saban’s statue if he ever exits Tuscaloosa under a dark cloud. Now imagine you’re a Texas A&M devotee, looking down from an idyllic Aggie heaven years from now, only to discover you’re buried steps away from a stadium where they’re finally allowing female yell leaders. You’ll have to start haunting the stadium, and once you start, you can’t really stop until you get what you want. That’s just bad ghosting.

• How long to grow Landry Jones an adamantium exoskeleton? Oklahoma’s offensive line is dropping like, uh, a defensive line playing OU. Veteran center Ben Habern had to call it a career last week over injury concerns. Redshirt freshman Dylan Dismuke has been knocked out of the game for good by a traitorous knee. Starting guard Tyler Evans tore his ACL Friday, and freshman John Michael McGee, according to his Twitter account, seems to be headed back to his home state of Arkansas.

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NASA at the moment of “touchdown confirmed.” twitpic.com/ag2g8o

— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) August 6, 2012

• ROLL DAMN MARS. NASA’s Curiosity rover landed on Mars in the wee hours of Monday morning, and if NASA is calling it a “touchdown,” it means we need to start asking the obvious questions:

@siholly How fast you think Eddie Lacy can run on Mars, Paaawwwwllll? I’ll hang up and listen.

— Cory McCarty (@crmccarty87) August 6, 2012

You can read more about Curiosity (and see a gallery of photos already beamed back from Mars) at NASA.gov.

• Clemson now, if possible, even more infuriating to bet on. Dabo Swinney told assorted media types in Greensboro last month that star receiver Sammy Watkins was working through a laundry list of penances following his May arrest for drug possession, and that he hoped to have a decision on any in-season punishments by the start of fall camp. Friday night, the school announced Watkins will sit the first two games of the 2012 season. This will sideline the Tigers’ star receiver for the trip to the Georgia Dome against Auburn, and a decidedly less daunting contest with Ball State. Watkins will get some warm-up action against Furman in Week 3 before the team travels to Tallahassee on September 22. Read More…

Duke receiver Blair Holliday is in critical condition after a reported jetski accident on July 4. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

Send some healing vibes in a North Carolina-ward direction, where Duke wide receiver Blair Holliday has been hospitalized since an Independence Day collision on Lake Tillery. The Charlotte News-Observer has some scant details on the accident, which reportedly involved jetskis and Duke’s leading kick returner Jamison Crowder.

Head coach David Cutcliffe released the following statement on Thursday: “First and foremost, our thoughts and prayers are with Blair, his parents, Leslie and Rick, and the entire Holliday family. The Holliday family is one of tremendous character and strength, and is truly an inspiration for all of us. Secondly, we could not be more appreciative of the care and support Blair has received here at UNC Hospitals. The doctors, nurses and support staff have been truly outstanding.

“We ask that you continue to keep Blair and his family in your thoughts, and also respect their privacy in this time of concern.”

The rising sophomore saw action for the Blue Devils in 10 games last season, recording three catches for 30 yards as a true freshman. Our sincere best wishes to the Holliday family, and to Holliday himself for a complete and rapid recovery.

Louisville fans: concerned with face paint, not concerned with fall weddings. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

Programming note: Campus Union will be on hiatus next week as we flee west to catch a little sunstroke before the crush of media days. Regular posting will resume Monday, June 25. Until then, you can follow our PCH madcap misadventures on Twitter, or just gaze with wondrous adoration at our shiny new banner up top. Beards! Laserfeet! 

Below, lovingly curated light reading to speed you to your weekend:

• Reader mail: The Miracle Marriage. Our favorite response to Tuesday’s Troll Wedding Calendar came from intrepid occasional colleague Godfrey, who writes:

I used a late January business trip to London to propose, ostensibly because I could do so in unforgettable vista of the WW2-bombed ruins of a Catholic church inside the old City of London gates  (#nohumblebrag) but also because the time of the proposal would theoretically not permit a big Southern wedding to planned in time for the Sept-Oct window but OH S*** I WAS WRONG SHE’S REALLY ORGANIZED.

My fandom was outweighed (read: overruled) by that whole “undying love and commitment thing, two become one in the eyes God, etc…,” and 10/23/10 was selected due to the church’s availability. The reception was held in her parent’s home (straight up North Louisiana Steel Magnolias, srsly. My future father-in-law even shot squirrels out of the oak trees that morning).

The groomsmen fan affiliation broke down accordingly: 2 Ole Miss, 1 UGA, 1 Texas, 2 LSU, 1 Louisville (/was not concerned). You’d think a 630pm wedding on 10/23/10, the heart of the season, would spell disaster, especially with three SEC teams.

Behold, a miracle:

11:00 CT – Texas vs. Iowa State
11:20am CT – Ole Miss at Arkansas
2:30pm CT – LSU at Auburn (game ended right as the limo came to take the groomsmen to the church)
6:15pm CT – UGA at Kentucky (the sole conflict, BUT they re-aired it on FSN that night at 3am in the hotel bar, because yes, he watched it then)

The only minor complaint the entire night was a sole Bama fan unable to witness a mere routine slaughter of Tennessee. ONE fan out of a group of 300.

PS – As compensation, we had all-bourbon bar at the reception. Seven top-shelf choices to assist in helping most attendees forget what day/week/sports season it was before 9 p.m.

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