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Great tastes that taste gross together

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From the Wall Street Journal via Political Wire, here is a harbinger of terrible, terrible things to come during commercial breaks in the 2012 college football season:

“[ESPN] has struck a deal with a middleman that will result in more political ads appearing on ESPN programs, including NFL and college football games, in October and November–the critical period before the general election.”

Said one top ESPN executive: “There is ‘great demand’ for ad time from ‘political parties and the super-PACs.”

As we all learned in social studies, the three great dividers of the American electorate are religion, politics and college football. Religion gets to mingle with the other two to some degree, for obvious reasons, but what you never ever ever want to do is combine all three, most especially where large quantities of domestic beer are involved. College football is tribal enough by its very nature, and is perfectly capable of generating arguments that end in horrific displays of human cruelty on its own, thankyouverymuch. Now some suit has the bright idea to toss in ad breaks that will engender living room fisticuffs over wars, heathcare and education? Is there any way this doesn’t end in heartbreak, or in armbreak?

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  • Published On Jul 10, 2012
  • Relevant to our interests

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    Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 of 48 criminal charges. (US PRESSWIRE)

    The last time we took a daylong car ride, Jim Tressel resigned. The time before that, USC’s NCAA sanctions came down. It should come as no surprise, therefore, that our spending four days in a car last week triggered a blockbuster breaking news moment: Craig James announcing that he won’t be returning to ESPN for the 2012 college football season. According to the Houston Chronicle, James “has been contacted by other networks to gauge his interest in returning to TV,” but the one with most of our football on it will be free of his vacuous presence. Glory be. Just keep a repatriated Darren Rovell off GameDay and we’ll all have a fine and jolly autumn.

    In decidedly less funny and markedly more important news: Jerry Sandusky is going to jail for a very, very long time. We haven’t done much talking about this case here, because we find alternating between serious discussions of sexual abuse and photos of college athletes enjoying pedicures to be uncouth and weird. We subsist on jokes in the offseason, but not on these jokes. Some people disagree. That’s their absolute right, but we’re with this guy. We also have the utmost respect for those with the stomach to cover this story, and do it well, including SI’s Luke Winn.

    Back to what we’re better at. Items of interest from our week off that we cannot let pass without comment:

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  • Published On Jun 25, 2012
  • Programming ‘Project X’

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    If we learned anything from the advent of the Big Ten and Longhorn Networks, it’s that filling hours of imaginary programming blocks not containing live sports is one of the most rewarding pastimes on God’s green internet. Intrepid interneteer @thejuiceisgood gets the ball bouncing on SEC-centric dramas in a big way over at the Sports Dumpster. Click through for Mark Richt as Hannah Montana, whatever you do (you heard us), in that one Pollyanna pose that’s launched a thousand classic Photoshops. It really is too bad, for once, that Craig James never ended up in the SEC — perhaps his presence could’ve made a certain other AMC Sunday-night drama compelling.


  • Published On Jun 01, 2012
  • Craig James’ Senate campaign relegated to shed of broken dreams

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    Rodeo clown and devoted lying liarpants Craig James, whose campaign for Senate is still apparently a real thing, faces a bit of a Republican primary challenge today, where he’s polling at a robust 3 percent, a statistically insignificant but still LOLsome two percentage points behind “Undecided.” You know at least a hundred people, gentle reader, and we live in contentious political times: When was the last time 97 of them agreed on anything? Say this for the man Wikipedia insists is nicknamed “Mustang Breath:” He’s a true uniter.

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  • Published On May 29, 2012
  • Weekend Whimsy: We see what you did there

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    Lovingly curated bits of light reading to speed you through to the weekend:

    A hit, a palpable Hokie hit. Boston College blog BC Interruption goes logo-trolling, with splendid results.

    • Jock exams. Andy Staples takes the NCAA rules test, discovering that “An institution may send an institutional postcard, provided its dimensions do not exceed 4 1/4 by 6 inches, it includes only the institution’s name and logo or an athletics logo on one side when produced and it includes only handwritten information, (e.g., words, illustrations) on the opposite side when provided to the recipients,” and maybe learning a little something about life along the way. [banjo twang]

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  • Published On May 25, 2012
  • Weekend Whimsy: The salad ring conference

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    To speed you through your Friday, light reading from the week that was:

    We want nothing more in life than for this video to be a true documentary filmed in real time. But if not, we will settle for a followup showing them make Riley Nelson apologize to all these inconvenienced worker bees. [Via.]

    Jenga! Louisville may not be long for the Big East, while Boise State may yet follow in the steps of fellow BCS-buster TCU and just never turn up in the Big East at all, leaving precious few chunks of fruit cocktail suspended in this gelatinous potluck offering of a league. RELATED AND NECESSARY: 2013 WAC schedule, leaked!

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  • Published On May 11, 2012
  • Highlights from Mike Leach’s AMA

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    Mike Leach, leader of men and dispenser of wisdom. (AP)

    Mike Leach took your questions Monday afternoon on Reddit. If you’d prefer not to wade through the massive volume of reading material that session spawned, we’ve collected a few of our favorite responses below.

    What made you decide to go with the spread offense before pretty much anyone else was using it? 

    We borrowed from the wishbone because they were good at distributing the football to all of the different skill positions. Then we spread it out so we could attack the whole field. When it comes to football, you have three resources: time, space, and personnel. You want to use all of them as effectively as possible.

    Was 70 really necessary?

    Ask Nebraska that … they have done it to others for years! Also, I was thinking about the 63 they put on me the first season we were at Texas Tech!

    Seriously though, you have an obligation as a coach to coach your team to play to the best of their ability. Your backup players deserve the opportunity to go out and make plays in a game as well.

    I’m a Freshman at Washington State and I’m new to Pullman. I’ve got a first date with a girl and I was wondering if you might have some recommendations?

    First take her to CDs Pit House BBQ in Moscow, ID. If she will get her hands dirty with some great BBQ, you will know you are on the right track! 

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  • Published On May 08, 2012
  • Craig James says Mike Leach is a “bully”

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    Well. I. Um. I mean. I suppose … he would know? About bullies? Because he’s really, really good at bullying? So it’s nice to see a candidate speaking from his wheelhouse? I guess? I need to lie down.

    [More on this over at Awful Announcing.]


  • Published On Mar 28, 2012
  • Designated Read: Feigned cares return

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    Politicians are hopping on the coattails of this Boise State fan and other playoff proponents. (AP)

    “There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them.” Now that changes to the BCS format lurk just beyond the horizon, with popular sentiment for those changes swelling in the wake of another controversial national title game matchup, here come the politicians clambering onto the anti-bowl system bandwagon. Way to be heroes, guys. Way to be.

    Smash segue! That student-athlete stipend legislation is indeed on hold, and the NCAA’s compliance blog has an idea for a fix:

    The simplest way to address the issues with an unfunded mandate is often to fund it. However, that is often impossible since funding the program (i.e. raising taxes) is often as unpopular as the program might be necessary. But in this case, the Board of Directors could kill not just two but six birds with one stone. Because the mechanism for funding a large grant-in-aid increase is the creation of an FBS football playoff.

    Penn State things: Mike McQueary is testifying in the Jerry Sandusky case today; the Patriot-NewsSara Ganim is live-tweeting the proceedings. Gary Schulz and Tim Curley are also scheduled to appear this afternoon. And Sandusky’s legal team should maybe all just stop talking outside a courtroom.

    Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Rams fleeced! Get it?? And can we please all stop pretending that that gawky hatchet job video of Kristi Malzahn had anything to do with her husband’s career prospects?

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  • Published On Dec 16, 2011
  • Designated Read: Dash away all

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    On Griffin, on Kuechly, on Bullock, on Claiborne!

    Bobby Rainey

    Western Kentucky running back Bobby Rainey earned a second-team All-America nod from SI.com after rushing for a school-record 1,695 yards. (Don McPeak-US PRESSWIRE)

    SI.com’s 2011 All-America team has been released. Other familiar names on the first team: Ball, Mercilus, Richardson, Blackmon, Woods and Upshaw. (And your eyes do not deceive you: That is Western Kentucky’s Bobby Rainey down there on the second team. Yes, that is well-deserved. No, I did not get to pick this team myself.)

    Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Gus Malzahn, ten pounds of GMOOH in a five-pound bag. Arkansas State is a curious choice of destinations for reasons financial, but not geographical, and will lend credibility to our constant shilling for the Sun Belt. Fresno State is reportedly thisclose to announcing Tim DeRuyter as Pat Hill’s replacement, and UCLA will operate in the two-staff tango.

    O frabjous day! Craig James to cease polluting our airwaves?  I knew there’d be a use for this campaign poster someday.  If anybody needs me, I’ll be booking a flight to an upcoming town hall meeting to ask him to sign my copy of Swing Your Sword.

    Realignment tidbit, grudgingly dispensed. Navy to the Big East, very eventually!

    Roster blotter. Time to pop open another little hatch on your Maryland Football Transfers Advent Calendar. Two Oklahoma State linemen have been hit with misdemeanor drug charges. Mike Bellamy, suspended for the ACCCG, won’t suit up for Clemson in the Orange Bowl, either.

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  • Published On Dec 14, 2011


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