To help you visualize WKU’s move, here are a couple noted Hilltoppers topping an imaginary hill. Today we learned the Big Red costume has a pocket on the leg, presumably to hold the vials of human tears that sustain its existence.

Since we last updated our easy-to-use conference realignment graphic, a length of time ago so short it can still comfortably be expressed in hours, here’s what else has transpired in the ceaseless league-hopping square dance: As first reported over the weekend by the Bowling Green Daily News, Western Kentucky has elected to join Conference USA next summer.

The move will take effect on July 1, 2014; the school will hold a press conference at 1 p.m. ET to formally announce the switch. No replacement member institution has been announced for the Sun Belt, but our pals at SB Nation heard a while back that JMU was next in line to level up should a current team depart.

Aren’t we glad we didn’t redo this graphic today?

Here’s a list of conference realignment moves that have been made known since we last wrote about conference realignment moves, which, for the record, was like two hours ago:

• Tulsa is joining the Big East. Not the Big East with all the basketball schools in it that’s going to be called the Big East down the line. Tulsa is joining the first Big East. This is happening in 2014.

• East Carolina is joining the Big East, also not the basketball Big East — though wouldn’t it be droll if one of these teams accidentally ended up in the Catholic 7 — and also in 2014.

• Conference USA is joining the Sun Belt. All of it. This part we made up, probably.

All this reported by college football realignment oracle Brett “Sources” McMurphy. We’ll see you back here in a couple hours for the next shuffle.

Iowa State and Tulsa will play a rematch of last year’s all-weather mascots Liberty Bowl in ’13. (Fred Brooks/Icon SMI)

Conference USA has announced schedule adjustments for two conference games and two nonconference games, with all four contests moving into prime-time weeknight slots. The new dates are as follows:

• Iowa State at Tulsa, Thursday, September 26

• Marshall at Middle Tennessee State, Thursday, October 24

• Marshall at Tulsa, Thursday, November 14

• Florida Atlantic at Miami, Friday, August 30

The full 2013 league schedule is available for download here, if you’re into that sort of thing. Conference USA’s first scheduled games, as of this writing, will kick off on opening Thursday and feature the Blue Raiders and Golden Hurricane hosting Western Carolina and visiting Bowling Green, respectively.

North Texas AD Rick Villarreal was chosen to appear as this post’s art because his program plays in Conference USA, and also because of his mustache. (AP)

Not to be outdone by the Mountain West’s nigh-bulletproof division announcement yesterday, Conference USA has divided its conference and named its component parts in such a way as to render it completely inaccessible to sassbuckets with keyboards. We did hold out some small hope, fueled by our intrepid producer Ben Glicksman, that C-USA would take a liking to the picturesque names the MWC doled out to its divisions, and gift us with the wonders of Conference USA Mountain and Conference USA West. No such luck:

“The 2013 Conference USA East Division will consist of East Carolina, FAU, FIU, Marshall, Middle Tennessee, Southern Miss and UAB. The West Division is made up of Louisiana Tech, North Texas, Rice, Tulane, Tulsa, UTEP and UTSA.

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In the dystopian future of the Big East, BBVA Compass Bowl trophies will be a highly valued currency. (AP)

• “Group of five” still just sounds so ominous. Jeremy Fowler reports on the coalescing system the Big East, Conference USA, MAC, Mountain West and Sun Belt are working on to distribute playoff revenue from the new postseason system:

In this proposed system, more than half the group’s roughly $86-million playoff pot would be distributed among the Big East, Mountain West, Mid-American Conference, Conference USA and Sun Belt as guaranteed base shares, according to a source with direct knowledge of the discussions. The source expects those shares to be evenly split, but added discussions are ongoing. The second tier pays out based on a conference’s body of work — the top conference gets the highest amount, then “X” amount for the next-rated conference, and on down. The third tier pays a kicker to the conference with the highest-ranked team, which is guaranteed an access bowl bid or, if among the top-four teams in the country, a semifinal berth in the playoff.

• Harbros’ early broing days. Check out Dan Wetzel’s tale of relatively wee Harbaughs recruiting youngsters to their dad’s team at Western Kentucky, including an appearance by one Willie Taggart.

• Exactly how you would’ve guessed. Former Miami Hurricanes make up the biggest slice of Super Bowl roster pie charts, but two of the next five teams on that list are … Marshall and Utah? Marshall and Utah! Go ThunderUtes!

• From the no-jokes department. Compelling story via OTL on UCLA researchers and evidence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy in living football players.

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We have at least three weeks’ worth of Sebastian photos on hand, in case this Miami story keeps dragging on. (AP)

Assorted newsy bits — of varying degrees of importance — you might have missed over the long weekend:

• Didn’t we already do this headline a week ago? ”Imminent” can mean a lot of things! In the cosmic sense, the NCAA’s investigation of Miami has spanned less than a fraction of an eyeblink, but here we are, riding on a human-speed space-time wave, just twiddling our bloggy thumbs until the ‘Canes’ notice of allegations drops. The latest rumblings, per Bruce Feldman, involve a very large book being thrown at ex-Miami and current Louisville assistant Clint Hurtt and other former ‘Canes colleagues. We’ll have more on this when we actually see the notice of allegations, unless we don’t see this notice of allegations, in which case we’ll be right back here next Monday writing a third variation on this same headline.

• And speaking of the NCAA: On the final day of the annual NCAA convention, the latest raft of changes — touted as an effort to streamline NCAA regulations — were unveiled. Your friendly neighborhood Bylaw Blogger takes a look at one proposal, regarding recruiting start dates, that was left out of the bundle.

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• By the time you see this post, all of this information will be out of date. Just keep this soothing mantra in your minds, and we’ll all get through this together:

When it all boils down, we’re all members of the Human Race Conference. #footballhugs

— Good Bull Hunting (@GBHunting) November 28, 2012

Change begets stress, and even good stress is stress, our mama has always said, so continue those deep, cleansing breaths while you read these releases from Middle Tennessee State and Florida Atlantic announcing their intent to join Conference USA in 2014. Karl Benson is making solar puns in all caps, so give him a little hug if you see him. And our pal Steven Godfrey finally realizes why Rutgers cut him off for a story a couple weeks back.

The Sun Sentinel is reporting that Western Kentucky and New Mexico State may be next, so if it’s all right with y’all we’re going to wait until next week to re-revise our handy realignment graphic.

• Bowltyme! Our postseason schedule is up and running, with new bowl teams added as they’re announced. It’s also in a font large enough for you to read first thing in the morning without your glasses a couple weeks from now, when you sit upright in bed and are terrified you have overslept into the New Mexico Bowl.

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Jordan Lynch, pinballer of the year. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome. WE HAVE MUCH TO DISCUSS.

• On teams about to move themselves outside our purview. Like we said this morning, we had no sooner finished updating our magnificent work of college football realignment art than word came down we might need to add Middle Tennessee State to it. And right as we were wrapping up this here column, Florida Atlantic joins the fray, chasing FIU to Conference USA. Consider this another plea for a dead period in conference realignment, for the sake of everyone’s collective multitasking abilities, at least until the bowls are over. What on earth else are we going to talk about in February if we get all this conference-hopping sorted out before Christmas?

And what to do with some of these teams going forward? We have a while to figure it out, obviously, but how to cover this ballooning middle class created by the sinking of the Big East? Will the Blue Raiders graduate from Profiterole-dom as Temple did last year? We’ll probably dedicate way more thought to this than we should; but, again, best to save that for the offseason when we have nothing better to do.

• Conference races drawing to a close. Where we’re at heading into that weird hybrid weekend of regular and postseason games: Kent State and Northern Illinois meet Friday night in Detroit for the MAC title game. Tulsa hosts Central Florida this Saturday for the C-USA championship. The Mountain West remains deadlocked in that wacky three-way tie between San Diego State, Fresno State and Boise State, with only the Broncos’ Saturday date with Nevada standing any chance of breaking it. The top two teams in the Sun Belt, Arkansas State and Middle Tennessee, play a final regular-season game Saturday that may as well be the conference title game. Utah State has clinched the WAC title outright with last week’s victory over Idaho. And Army and Navy will meet a week from Saturday for the right to hoist the Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy, with Air Force out of the race entirely for the first time since 2005.

• Bowltyme! Stewart Mandel’s latest postseason projections can be found here, along with a freshly-updated chart listing every accepted bowl invitation. Profiteroles playing this holiday season include Nevada in the New Mexico Bowl, Utah State in the Potato, San Diego State and BYU in the Poinsettia, Louisiana in the New Orleans, SMU in the Hawaii, Air Force in the Armed Forces and Navy in the Fight Hunger.

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• Everybody got all that? In the past 24 hours of college football realignment news, we have seen East Carolina and Tulane jump from Conference USA to the Big East, the ACC file a lawsuit against Maryland over money owed given the Terps’ move to the Big Ten, Louisville abandon the Big East for the ACC and UConn’s president say “I think we really just have to focus on students and then everything will be OK.” And in the time it took us to painstakingly piece together the elaborate artist’s rendition of the remaining future conference jumps, the Virginian-Pilot is reporting that Conference USA will add Middle Tennessee State. YEEHAW.

• Things that are not realignment news. Our one preseason prediction that held fast all year was that every team would look sort of terrible at least once … Virginia cans its running backs coach … Gene Chizik will be a Mr. December to remember … and here is the only hypothetical realignment move we’d be in favor of at this exasperating point.

• “I think it all starts with a commitment to the university … the ability to have a clear vision.” While we technically agree with Colorado AD Mike Bohn that these are good qualities to seek in a college football coach, we have a humble suggestion: Next time, maybe don’t use those words right after firing a head coach two years into his tenure and right before making it outlandishly obvious through further words and sour facial expressions that you have nooooo idea what to do next.

The sporting internet watched with alternating horror and bewilderment as Jon Embree, Bohn and Colorado’s president and chancellor made statements and fielded questions on Embree’s ousting. You can watch the whole thing here, a fact which may be an indictment of the Colorado leadership in and of itself, read a summary of events here or get the general idea from those of us who watched it unfold in real time:

An emotional Jon Embree at his press conference. You can tell how much the job meant to him.

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) November 26, 2012

A player just said from the back of the room “Thank you coach. We love you.” Embree said, “I love you too.” — Kyle Ringo (@KyleRingo) November 26, 2012

“We don’t get second chances.” Jon Embree on black head coaches. — Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) November 26, 2012

Embree on short-term turnarounds. “Basically, you can get mercenaries.” [Bobby Petrino startles to life in his coffin] — edsbs (@edsbs) November 26, 2012

embree’s basically saying, “if you wanted me to win this year, it was gonna cost cash money. untraceable CASH.” — Bomani Jones (@bomani_jones) November 26, 2012

And remember, Bohn hit this CU team with the same speech he used when he fired Hawkins. Players in that room heard it before — Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) November 26, 2012

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