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Like suds through the hourglass

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By Holly Anderson

Has it really been almost a year since we last spoke of Chip Kelly’s hot tub work habits?

Anyway:

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  • Published On May 13, 2013
  • Oregon, NCAA agree on ‘major’ violations within Ducks program

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    Oregon and the NCAA enforcement staff agree the Ducks committed 'major' violations. (Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

    Chip Kelly is gone, but Oregon will still pay for violations committed during his tenure. (Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

    By Zac Ellis

    Oregon and the NCAA agree that the school committed “major” violations within its recruiting practices, which have been the subject of an ongoing NCAA investigation. In a draft of the summary disposition report obtained by Portland, Ore., TV station KATU, more details have emerged surrounding the Ducks’ activities and use of Will Lyles, a Texas-based scout whose firm Complete Scouting Services allegedly provided Oregon with an illegal recruiting advantage, among other violations.

    Through the summary disposition, Oregon offered to self-impose a two-year probation for the football program and a reduction of one scholarship for each of the next three seasons, according to OregonLive.com. The Ducks will meet with the NCAA’s Committee on Infractions later this year to determine the school’s ultimate fate.

    The report details Lyles’ impermissible contact with student-athletes, which gave Oregon “a meaningful recruiting advantage” by providing the school with background information on prospective recruits. The document also states that Oregon paid at least $35,000 for a number of improper recruiting services, including $25,000 to Lyles and Complete Scouting Services. Oregon also failed to adequately record recruiting information on a quarterly basis, as mandated by the NCAA. The school and the NCAA disagree on the severity of these charges, however; Oregon considers them to be secondary violations, while the NCAA believes they are major violations.

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  • Published On Apr 16, 2013
  • Coach firin’ (and hirin’) season 2012: Goodbyes, hellos and … mustaches

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    DeWayne Walker sets the coaching carousel spinning once more with his late departure from New Mexico State. (AP)

    DeWayne Walker set the coaching carousel spinning once more with his late departure from New Mexico State. (AP)

    Tommy Tuberville’s sitting by the phone* and Jimmy Sexton’s got that particular sparkle in his eye. It can mean only one thing: The coach firin’ season is upon us once more. We’ll be tracking the carousel of progress, right here, for as long as it takes to stop spinning. Raise a glass to times past, won’t you? * Well, not anymore, but never tell us we don’t have the gift of very specific prophecy through throwaway jokes.

    New Mexico State [updated 02.01.2013]

    • Who’s out: DeWayne Walker, who jumps to the NFL with less than two weeks remaining between now and Signing Day. And not even for a coordinating gig: Walker will coach defensive backs for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Walker released the following statement through the athletic department: “I really appreciate the opportunity that Dr. Boston and New Mexico State gave me to be a Division I head football coach. Unfortunately, I did not get the program as far as I would have liked from a wins and losses standpoint. But, we do have a better locker room, better kids and a better foundation for the program moving forward. There are a lot of people that I want to thank for their support and will be reaching out to those individuals in the coming days. They have helped me in moving the program forward. I am excited about starting a new chapter in my coaching career, as is my family. I wish New Mexico State great success in the future and wish everyone the best. Go Aggies!” • Who’s in: Doug Martin — the one who played at Kentucky, not the one who played at Boise State. Although if Martin The Younger is really so opposed to his excellent nickname, we’re gonna refer to Martin The Elder as coach Muscle Hamster instead. It’s been a whirlwind courtship for Martin and the Aggies: He was announced as offensive coordinator on January 17, temporarily promoted to interim head coach on January 24 and will be officially announced as DeWayne Walker’s successor on Monday, February 4. Martin’s previous head coaching experience consists of a seven-year stint at Kent State, from 2004-2010. Read More…


  • Published On Feb 01, 2013
  • Maryland seeks a few good Terps; more Designated Reads

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     You a Terp? Maryland has announced walk-on football tryouts for Wednesday, January 30. You must be a full-time, currently enrolled student to be eligible for consideration.

    Screen shot 2013-01-17 at 12.28.57 PM

    This is also your reminder that heading into Maryland’s last regular-season football game of 2012, this is what Maryland’s injury report looked like. So if you’re an aspiring quarterback, we’re honestly not sure whether to tell you to show up or stay away.

    • Meanwhile, while the internet was caving in on itself …  Lost yesterday in the avalanche of news shocks was the announcement that the Mountain West has retaken San Diego State. (We’re choosing to picture this as a giant Risk board in action. The Big 12 is clearly Australia.) We have an MWC source who’s promised to tell us the second the conference poaches UCLA, and y’all will be the first to know after that.

    • Coach-hirin’ follies! Go right on ahead and apply for Chip Kelly’s old job, and be sure and let us know how that works out … here is a magnificent lead followed by Rob Mullens’ insistence that he has no clubhouse leaders in mind for Kelly’s vacant seat … John-El lands at DII Fort Lewis College … Utah passing coordinator Aaron Roderick will take the OC slot at BYU [UPDATE: No he won't!] … Louisiana Tech won’t have to re-glaze any of its “I <3 OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR TONY” mugs … Tim Rosenbach joins the UNLV staff as OC.

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  • Published On Jan 17, 2013
  • Chip Kelly to Eagles: Bonus midday Laff Riot Twitter wrap

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    Have you heard?

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  • Published On Jan 16, 2013
  • Some Kelly or other shall lead them; more Designated Reads

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    • Eagles to turn next to R. Kelly. There are folks getting awfully het up at Brian Kelly (subscription required) for his dalliances with the Philadelphia Eagles, who are just trying to live frugally after printing up all those WE <3 COACH KELLY cocktail napkins for Chip.

    Elsewhere in coach-hirin’ follies: Obvious international superspy Bob Toledo will rejoin Rocky Long as offensive coordinator at San Diego State … Chuck Bresnahan will coordinate Willie Taggart’s defense at South Florida … Bill Young is out and Glenn Spencer is in as Oklahoma State’s defensive coordinator … Texas A&M swipes West Virginia’s quarterbacks coach to serve as co-offensive coordinator in College Station … and from Regular Virginia, Kevin Sumlin snags an assistant who’d been with the Cavaliers for just over a week.

    • Roster blotter. Eddie Lacy, Dee Milliner and D.J. Fluker will all leave Alabama early to enter the NFL draft … Clint Moseley has left Auburn football, though not Auburn … also draft-bound, Clemson’s Nuke Hopkins, Washington State’s Marquess Wilson and Georgia’s Kwame Geathers … Joseph Randle to turn pro, per Joseph Randle … LSU has, at last count, 11 early departures … notable non-departures include Texas A&M’s Jake Matthews and Texas’ Mike Davis … and spare some healing vibes for Notre Dame’s Kapron Lewis-Moore, whose BCS title game injury has been confirmed as an ACL tear.

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  • Published On Jan 11, 2013
  • Ghosts of college football past; more Designated Reads

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    • Come back soon, RonP. College football’s buyout hero is with the Jacksonville Jaguars now, but does that make a minute and a half loop of him singing on the Jags’ video holiday card any less compelling? We say nay:

    May your days be merry and bright, and may all your buyout clauses be airtight.

    • Can’t spell COIN COIN without COI? Oregon will have its Committee on Infractions hearing. Bylaw Blog does a bit of explaining.

    • Coach-hirin’ follies. Boston College hires its coordinators … Gary Andersen pulls what we’re going to call a Reverse Tommy Tuberville … we actually met some Oregon fans last year who professed to be “tired of the Rose Bowl,” so this is a real phenomenon, however dumb.

    Realignment tidbits, grudgingly dispensed. Big East commish Mike Aresco says “We feel we have a very good league.” This is secret code: you cannot spell “FEEL” without “Fresno State and UNLV.”

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  • Published On Dec 20, 2012
  • Wednesday night MACtion delivers big; more Designated Reads

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    Just going to repeat yesterday’s MACtion preview caption here: “Behold Jordan Lynch. Fear Jordan Lynch.” (AP)

    • Northern Illinois 31, Toledo 24. We do so love what’s become an annual late-season scramble for division supremacy between the Huskies and Rockets, and last night’s contest did not disappoint. The Huskies, who have won 10 games for the third straight year, will represent the MAC West in Detroit for the third consecutive season, and will face either Kent State or Bowling Green once they get there. Quarterback Jordan Lynch threw for 407 yards (a career best) and rushed for 162 more. No, by himself. No, seriously. Lynch was sent here by the football gods to make sure we all properly appreciate MACtion for the weeknight blessing it is. Message received. [BOX | RECAP]

    • Ball State 52, Ohio 27. The Bobcats trailed by four points heading into halftime and were nearly doubled up by the end of the game, thanks mostly to a 21-point fourth-quarter scoring barrage from the Cardinals. Ball State scored three touchdowns in less than nine minutes on a Horactio Banks run, a Kelly Page pass and a Jahwan Edwards run. Page replaced starter Keith Wenning, who left the game in the second quarter with an Achilles injury. Also, this happened[BOX | RECAP]

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  • Published On Nov 15, 2012
  • Thursday Night Bites: Oregon at Arizona State; Houston at SMU (FAQ)

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    Two FBS football games grace your Thursday night television schedule. We’re sure you have so many questions, and that one of them is, “Can we see that Duck Gangnam Style video again?” You sure can!

    Houston @ SMU

    • What information do I, the discerning consumer, require in order to consume this game? The Cougars and Mustangs kick off at 8 p.m. ET in Gerald J. Ford Stadium in Dallas. The game will be televised on FSN.

    • Why am I spending my Thursday night watching a 2-4 team play a 3-3 team, one of which has already lost to Texas State and one of which has lost to Tulane? Far be it from us to tell you what to do with your free time, but the hours between now and that 9:00 p.m. Pac-12 kickoff loom long. (If you must watch at least one winning team, take in some FCS ball. North Carolina Central hosts Hampton at 7:30 p.m. on ESPNU.)

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  • Published On Oct 18, 2012
  • Rutgers pulls away from South Florida; more Designated Reads

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    “Oh, really?” said Jawan Jamison. “No, not really,” said South Florida’s defense, allowing him to pass unimpeded. (AP)

    • Rutgers 23, South Florida 13. Ask us again how goofy we feel for having picked the Bulls to win the Big East. We will tell you, free of sidestepping or correct grammar, way more goofier than we did at this time yesterday. The Crystal Ball Curse, which we have made up, lives and breathes of its own accord.

    Making Thursday night worthwhile viewing all by himself was Rutgers tailback Jawan Jamison, whose spin move here is fun to watch in .gif form. But it was gasp-worthy in HD. Find video if you can. It was a truly beautiful moment in a game almost entirely devoid of them. Jamison wrapped up his evening in Tampa with 151 yards and a touchdown, his fourth consecutive 100-yard game. Jamison’s 41 carries broke a school record that had stood since 1972. [BOX | RECAP]

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  • Published On Sep 14, 2012


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