Kansas coach and renowned numbers guy Charlie Weis explains the SEC’s weaknesses. (Jackson Laizure/Getty Images)

By Zac Ellis

Bob Stoops’ recent SEC comment ruffled some feathers around the country’s most powerful conference, but Oklahoma’s head coach can take comfort knowing one man has his back: Charlie Weis.

It’s been a week since Stoops took the power of the SEC to task, telling the Tulsa World that the league’s perceived dominance is the result of “a lot of propaganda that gets fed out to you.” Yet despite the SEC claiming seven straight BCS national championships, Weis, the former Florida offensive coordinator (2011) and current Kansas head coach, said Stoops actually has a point. In an interview with ESPN.com, Weis said:

“Do you know the stats? In the SEC, the record of the good guys and the bad guys? [...] I’m just sayin’, you look at the bottom of our league and the bottom of their league, just going based off the numbers, there’s validity in what he said. I’m just going based off the numbers, I mean, I’m a numbers guy. Just based off the numbers, you’d have to say he’s got a point.”

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We have at least three weeks’ worth of Sebastian photos on hand, in case this Miami story keeps dragging on. (AP)

Assorted newsy bits — of varying degrees of importance — you might have missed over the long weekend:

• Didn’t we already do this headline a week ago? ”Imminent” can mean a lot of things! In the cosmic sense, the NCAA’s investigation of Miami has spanned less than a fraction of an eyeblink, but here we are, riding on a human-speed space-time wave, just twiddling our bloggy thumbs until the ‘Canes’ notice of allegations drops. The latest rumblings, per Bruce Feldman, involve a very large book being thrown at ex-Miami and current Louisville assistant Clint Hurtt and other former ‘Canes colleagues. We’ll have more on this when we actually see the notice of allegations, unless we don’t see this notice of allegations, in which case we’ll be right back here next Monday writing a third variation on this same headline.

• And speaking of the NCAA: On the final day of the annual NCAA convention, the latest raft of changes — touted as an effort to streamline NCAA regulations — were unveiled. Your friendly neighborhood Bylaw Blogger takes a look at one proposal, regarding recruiting start dates, that was left out of the bundle.

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Is this the real Kliff Kingsbury, or an incredible simulation? (AP)

• Kliff Kingsbury is on Twitter. His hair does not look artfully tousled. He is wearing a suit and tie, and that tie is not a skinny tie. No v-necks are immediately visible. This may in fact be a wax dummy of Kliff Kingsbury pictured here, which would go a long way toward explaining why it hasn’t tweeted yet.

• We are now contractually obligated to call him Bear O’Brien for one calendar year. Penn State’s head coach has been bestowed with the Bear Bryant College Coach of the Year Award, marking him as the most alliterative winner in the award’s history. Congratulations, Bill O’Bryant!

• Coach-hirin’ follies! Florida defensive coordinator Dan Quinn is leaving to rejoin the Seattle Seahawks; Gators assistant D.J. Durkin has been elevated in his place … per our express wishes, Clancy Pendergast will replace Monte Kiffin as USC’s DC … Rutgers will reportedly lose offensive coordinator Dave Brock to Delaware … Rick Smith, who’s coached defensive backs at South Florida since 2010, will join Ruffin McNeil’s staff at East Carolina as defensive coordinator … now-former Boston College OC Doug Martin (not, so far as we know, nicknamed “Muscle Hamster”) is headed back to New Mexico State in the same capacity.

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• SHE’S BACK. AIN’T NO STOPPING US NOW. Oh, Switzie Award winner LizHoney2U, we have missed you terribly.

Our own reaction to the hiring of Bret Bielema at Arkansas can best be summed up by this animated image.

• And while we’re on Wisconsin. Could Barry Alvarez return to the sidelines for the Badgers’ bowl game?

• Coach-firin’ season! Lane Kiffin would like it if his new defensive coordinator could succeed against Pac-12 offenses … we think it’s actually spelled “l8ly,” but that doesn’t mean former Appalachian State coach Jerry Moore didn’t get screwed … he’s not a coach, but do make time for this colorful account of the end of Ross Parmley’s reign as Tulsa AD … and he’s not fired, but Charlie Weis made a whopping $2.5 million per win in 2012. Math is fun!

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Have a touchdown pass, America. Bryn Renner has so many of them to spare at the moment. (AP)

• North Carolina 37, Virginia 13. That sure got away from us in a hurry, didn’t it? A 36-yard interception return by UNC’s Tre Boston late in the first half broke the game open at 20-10, and apart from a lone third-quarter field goal the Cavaliers would not threaten again. Bryn Renner wrapped up the evening with 29-of-36 pass attempts completed, good for 315 yards and three touchdowns. His favored target, Quinshad Davis, recorded 178 receiving yards on 16 catches, and Gio Bernard added 57 yards rushing and 47 receiving yards with one score. Erik Highsmith caught two of Renner’s three scoring passes. UVA is out of postseason contention but could still prevent Virginia Tech from going to a bowl with a win next Saturday in Blacksburg. [BOX | RECAP]

• This holiday season, give the gift of vintage sanctions. The COI has imposed a few additional penalties on Tennessee for violations dating from the Lane Kiffin era, which we’re only mentioning here because Dave Hart saying ”We will finally close the chapter on the prior actions of members of a previous football coaching staff,” very shortly before he creates a second coaching staff he’ll have to call “previous,” gives us the grim giggles.

• What a nice gesture from a nice person. Per a Kansas sports info release: “In an effort to send his 2012 senior class out with a fitting farewell, Kansas football head coach Charlie Weis is offering to foot the bill for all KU students seeking admittance to Saturday’s ‘Senior Night’ game versus Iowa State.” Kickoff is scheduled for 7 p.m. ET. No word on whether journalism students are included in the invitation.

• Shiny! The 2012 Nagurski Trophy finalists were announced Thursday. Still in the running for college football’s National Defensive Player of the Year: Jadeveon Clowney, Jarvis Jones, Dee Milliner, Manti Te’o and Bjoern Werner. Winner to be announced on December 3.

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Jerry Sandusky received an effective life imprisonment sentence Tuesday morning. (AP)

• Jerry Sandusky, going away. We trade in irreverencies here, but this is not a matter for lighthearted anything (except for this guy, maybe?), so we will give you some facts instead: Jerry Sandusky was sentenced this morning to 30-60 years in prison. Sandusky plans to appeal. SI.com’s Michael McCann has provided a full report.

• Groh puns! Get your Groh puns! Puns by the thousands! Through six games, Georgia Tech is giving up an average of 431 yards per contest, and Paul Johnson apparently thinks that’s about enough. Defensive coordinator Al Groh’s firing was announced Monday afternoon. Said Groh: “I feel positive that this is a good time in life to move on to a new situation.” Hard to argue with that.

• It is news that Frank Spaziani is not yet fired. Boston College sources have confirmed that Brad Bates will become the school’s new AD.

• Injury report story hour. Following Oregon State’s official release on the matter of Sean Mannion’s knee, we don’t know a great deal more than we did yesterday. The weeks Mannion will miss are still set at “undetermined.” What we do have now, however, is a statement from coach Mike Riley on Mannion’s backup, junior Cody Vaz, and an attempt to dispel that pesky “No one but Sean Mannion has taken a snap at quarterback in 14 games” fear. “Cody is a good quarterback; he’s been preparing for this for a long time. He’s had a ton of reps; in fact he almost had as many as Sean did during fall camp. Cody knows what we are doing, he gets rid of the ball fast and he’s accurate.” He’ll have to be, at BYU.

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It is not great for Kansas’ early 2012 prospects to have its leading rusher from 2011 suspended for the first three games, even if two of those games are home stands against Rice and South Dakota State. But we are all the poorer for missing out on potential sideline shots of James Sims’ hair, even if his junior portrait shows his Kid ‘n Play look has become a little more subdued with age.

Sims was stopped by campus police Sunday for driving under the influence, and must now endure the wrath of Charlie Weis. Think of your life and the lives of others that could be affected by your poor life choices, young people — particularly if you carry a national treasure above your brow.

Assorted light reading to power you through Friday.

After writing up Jamaal Bass’ indictment for an on-field assault on two Toledo band members, we fell into discussion on the merits of marching band instruments as weapons. We received many compelling arguments:

@SIHolly I’m biased b/c I played it … but baritone is my choice. Heavy, yet handheld (easy to swing). I accidentally chipped a tooth once.

— Patrick Southern (@patricksouthern) March 20, 2012

@SIHolly Also, the brass is far more dense than in a trombone or a trumpet or mellophone. And yes, I’m actually thinking critically here.

— Patrick Southern (@patricksouthern) March 20, 2012

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Charlie Weis' five-year Kansas contract guarantees $2.5 million annually. (ZUMAPRESS.com)

• Fresh coaches, bought and sold! As expected, Tim DeRuyter was introduced as Fresno State’s new head coach Wednesday afternoon, replacing the entrenched and magnificently mustachioed Pat Hill. DeRuyter will have a hectic few weeks, hopping back to College Station to guide the Aggies through their Car Care Bowl appearance on New Year’s Day and cultivating facial hair to match that of his predecessor.

Elsewhere on the carousel: Turner Gill has popped up on the opposite coast, as the newest head coach at Liberty, where somebody in the marketing department really loves that Photoshop “Outer Glow” layer style filter. Mike Locksley may return to Maryland. Gus Malzahn details his whirlwind courtship with Arkansas State. Charlie Weis’ buyout is more jaw-dropping than his hire.

• Todd Graham: Introduced at Arizona State. On second thought, no other coaching personnel decisions really seem that ludicrous anymore, right? More on Graham in a little while, because hoowee, there’s a lot to unpack there.

• Math is not for everyone: South Carolina will self-impose a six-scholarship cut, a fine and probation in advance of a February NCAA hearing (remember the players caught receiving discounted hotel room rates? Doesn’t that seem forever ago?). Bryan Fischer does some quick calculations: “Sleeping on floors = 9 scholarships/three yrs. $47k discounts on hotel rooms = 6/three yrs. Ineligible players playing for a year = 5/three.”

• Outstretched hands will have to catch footballs and not monies!  The NCAA’s new stipend legislation is facing an override threat from protesting schools.

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Charlie Weis is leaving Will Muschamp and the Gators to coach Kansas. (US PRESSWIRE)

• Kansas upgrades Florida’s offense — for free! Charlie Weis returns to the Sunflower State, and the reviews are rolling in:

“Kansas football will always have to hire coaches with risk. It’s just that this one comes with a tint of desperation, too.” -- Kansas City Star

“Weis will need to identify second-tier talent and turn it into first-tier talent to win the Big 12. Identifying and developing: his Achilles heel in South Bend.” — Paul Myerberg

“I ASSUME YOU CAME WITH A SKI MASK ON AND SHOULD LEAVE WITH ONE BECAUSE YOU STOLE MONEY AT NOTRE DAME AND YOU STOLE MONEY FROM FLORIDA AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO KANSAS AND THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF SUBTROPICAL DEPRESSION THAT GUSTS INTO PRESS CONFERENCES RAINS TURNOVERS ON AN OFFENSE AND THEN SUCKS THE CASH OUT OF THE AIR.” — mildly disgruntled Florida partisan Spencer Hall (Language warning at that link, for those of you with bosses who don’t understand just how badly the Gators deserved to be cussed this season.)

Additionally, Will Muschamp praises Weis’ tenure at Florida, which makes Will Muschamp a terrible liar. Want to tell Kansas what you make of this hire? The Jayhawks have left their Facebook wall announcement open for public commenting! Wasn’t that nice of them?

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