Florida incoming transfer Darious Cummings is going by “Bear” Cummings. What do you guys want to be called?

— Jason Lieser (@PBPjasonlieser) January 15, 2013

• How would he feel about “Bearious” for more formal occasions? If we’re all supposed to be taking after forest creatures for a fresh new look for spring 2013, we would like to be referred to from here on as “Killer Otter.” Thank you for your attention to this matter.

• And speaking of spring. Army’s spring game, which graced our neck of the woods at Fort Benning last year, continues its freshly-established traveling tradition with a March 8 scrimmage set to take place at Fort Hood, Texas.

• The Coliseum just needs a place to crash for a few days, until it gets things figured out. The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum Commission is behind in its rent, per the L.A. Times, but once it gets its free-range vegan water bottle business up and running things are really going to turn around. It’s not a pyramid scheme. It’s not!

• That’s a helluva windbreak. Texas Tech approves plans for a “freestanding high-definition video board,” theoretically to be installed and operational in time for the 2013 season.

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Juron Criner and Arizona annihilated UCLA in a game that provided vastly more excitement than expected. (US PRESSWIRE)

• UAB 26, Central Florida 24: Arizona trouncing UCLA was a possibility that we could have conceivably predicted based on available information. More on those teams in a second, but first something we did not expect: The winless, lovelorn Birmingham Blazers, playing in decaying Legion Field on a Thursday night in front of an audience of dozens, knocking off a team predicted by many this preseason to take the division crown. Without their starting quarterback. On a field goal from midfield, with six seconds to play. Weeknight games, you give and you give this year. You really do. [BOX | RECAP]

• Arizona 48, UCLA 12: Now here’s one that could have been extrapolated, although there was no way to predict the level of entertainment this throwaway game wound up providing both in and out of play. The danger here is to assume that the firing of Mike Stoops was some sort of magic bullet to repair the Wildcats’ season; the first half of a ludicrous schedule included consecutive dates at Oklahoma State, against Stanford and against Oregon, while the later slate provides such relatively easy pickin’s as Colorado, Utah, and yes, UCLA. That said, it was really, really nice to see Nick Foles, who has long deserved better things (beginning with a better offensive line), winging touchdown passes with flair and not looking miserable for once. Juron Criner continues to make his assigned defenders look silly, one way or another. [BOX | RECAP]

• Now, what you’ve all been waiting for: This time of year, with your team as likely as not on the skids, you take diversion where you can find it. So here is video from actual television cameras and from accomplices in the stands of the streaker who took the field in the UCLA-Arizona game dressed as a ref in tearaway capris, blew a live play dead, then stripped and galumphed into the red zone — an event that preceded a bench-clearing brawl by mere seconds. And you thought nothing could top the gobsmacked spectacle of hearing Jesse Palmer suggest Mike Leach as a candidate for the Arizona job, on live television, while sharing a booth with Craig James. I will never again dismiss the entertainment possibilities of a weeknight game between two lose-happy teams.

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