This joke is never not funny: There are nine Boise State football players in this picture. Can you spot them all? (AP)

By Holly Anderson

Boise State does not want to have to pay money for aborting its launch to the then-Big East. We are of two minds about this: Should the American justice system do whatever it can to save whomever it can from having to play in the Odd Lots League? Or do those who even act like playing for the freshly hatched American Athletic Conference is a good plan deserve to be left to their fates?

Or will Boise skate free no matter what, by having its players hide all school monies beneath jerseys scattered across the blue turf? The choice is yours:

Rutgers will wear special helmets and jerseys during its April 27 spring game. (Rutgers Athletics)

By Zac Ellis

The feel-good story of the day comes out of New Jersey, where Rutgers announced Thursday that it will give 22 local students affected by Hurricane Sandy the opportunity to play a flag football game at the Scarlet Knights’ spring game on Saturday, April 27. The students will play the final five minutes of the annual Scarlet-White game, with their play affecting the final score.

Rutgers is selecting the students in a contest of essays and photos, which can be submitted through a special Facebook page. Selected children will spend the second half of the game on the sidelines of High Point Solutions stadium with their respective teams.

Rutgers fans attending the game can donate $5 to the Hurricane Sandy New Jersey Relief Fund at the gate, and the team will wear special jerseys sporting the names of 90 towns across New Jersey affected by Sandy. The jerseys will later be signed by head coach Kyle Flood and given to each town. The Scarlet Knights will also wear special helmets with an “R Strong” logo.

Rutgers has made efforts to honor and support victims of Hurricane Sandy since the storm hit, including selling more than $61,000 worth of “R Strong” T-shirts since last fall. Rutgers athletics also raised $10,000 for the Jersey Shore chapter of the American Red Cross by collecting at the team’s game against Army last November.

Here you can see Gunner Kiel beginning his run from South Bend to Cincinnati. (Robin Alam/Icon SMI)

By Zac Ellis

The Gunner Kiel saga took its latest turn on Wednesday, when ESPN’s Joe Schad reported that the ex-Notre Dame quarterback is set to enroll at Cincinnati. Kiel will sit out the 2013 season before looking to compete for the starting job in 2014.

Kiel has been tied to a number of high-profile programs since the Indiana native first committed to his home-state Hoosiers in 2011. He flipped to LSU during his senior year, then changed his mind again only days before the enrollment deadline, when he signed with Notre Dame.

Once Kiel announced his intention to transfer earlier this year, he considered Kansas State, Mississippi State and Ole Miss, among others. Ultimately, he bonded with new Bearcats coach Tommy Tuberville and his staff.

Kiel’s decision comes on the heels of Everett Golson winning Notre Dame’s starting quarterback job and leading the team to a berth in the BCS title game last season. This may have also played a role: Cincinnati is only a short drive (93 miles) from Kiel’s hometown of Columbus, Ind.

@celebrityhottub BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST, WE DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE OUT WEST—
Scott (@actioncookbook) April 01, 2013

Try the gray stuff. It’s delicious.

Aren’t we glad we didn’t redo this graphic today?

Here’s a list of conference realignment moves that have been made known since we last wrote about conference realignment moves, which, for the record, was like two hours ago:

• Tulsa is joining the Big East. Not the Big East with all the basketball schools in it that’s going to be called the Big East down the line. Tulsa is joining the first Big East. This is happening in 2014.

• East Carolina is joining the Big East, also not the basketball Big East — though wouldn’t it be droll if one of these teams accidentally ended up in the Catholic 7 — and also in 2014.

• Conference USA is joining the Sun Belt. All of it. This part we made up, probably.

All this reported by college football realignment oracle Brett “Sources” McMurphy. We’ll see you back here in a couple hours for the next shuffle.

Just name the conference after Teddy Bridgewater. He’s who we’re here to see, and by the time he’s drafted there’ll be all new teams in the league and they’d be renaming it anyway. (AP)

React with mild enthusiasm in a manner of your choosing, brothers and sisters: The Big East/ESPN media rights deal is complete. Conference release:

Commissioner Michael Aresco has announced that the current Big East Conference, soon to be renamed and rebranded, has entered into a multiyear, wide-ranging television contract with ESPN to telecast its football, basketball and Olympic sports. Financial terms of the agreement were not announced. The contract will run through 2019-20. 

No news at this time on what will become of the Big East Pinterest account, so those of you planning USF football-themed weddings may want to consult your planners.

#BigEast considering opening up to social media for name suggestions to consider, according to league source.—
Jeremy Fowler (@JFowlerCBS) March 08, 2013

Welp, we’re in it now, and wouldn’t you know it — we’ve exhausted our supply of Future Big East Name Jokes. Y’all, just get it over with. All we ask is that any sort of Leaders-and-Legends situation be avoided, and based on this statement released by commissioner Mike Aresco, it seems as though the conference has come to the same conclusion:

“We have not chosen a new conference name at this time and there are no favorites. We are going through a thoughtful evaluation of potential names for our conference, and will select a name in a timely manner through a comprehensive and deliberate process that involves our presidents and athletic directors as well as constituents from inside and outside the conference. We are excited about the prospect of re-branding and look forward to working with our institutions and our fans as we engage in this process.”

A conference determined to engage with the internet is a conference that’s OK with being named the Big Corgi Coalition, and that is a conference we can believe in.

Central Florida at Memphis: Now a Big East conference game, for some reason! (AP)

The Big East has released its 2013 football schedule, making this a good time to take a lunch break and remind yourselves just exactly who’s even playing in the Big East next year. [SPOILER ALERT: That'd be Central Florida, Cincinnati, UConn, Houston, Louisville, Memphis, Rutgers, SMU, South Florida and Temple.]

One early highlight in that ever-blossoming first weekend of the 2013 season is the move of SMU’s opener against Texas Tech to Friday night. The Mustangs and Red Raiders will kick off at Ford Stadium at 8 p.m. ET on August 30.

“Oh. Hello. I didn’t see you there. I’m Tommy Tuberville, for the Allstate Conference. We’re in all states, and we’re here for you.” (AP)

Intrepid reader Dan Galindo submits this helpful suggestion for whatever we’re going to have to call the Big East now:

I vote that the unnamed football conference comprised of the remnants of the Big East and the miscellaneous carpetbaggers sell its naming rights. My first thought was the “Nationwide Conference” with sponsorship from Nationwide Insurance. Allstate would also be a suitable insurance-based alternative. If the goal of college football is apparently to make the most money possible (as it appears to be), how far away from this are we really? Obviously most of the soon-to-be-formerly AQ conferences won’t do this in the near future because it is one of the last traditional concerns that has yet to be breached. Therefore, I think this “new” conference can be on the cutting edge while also raking in a few dozen million dollars more a year. Frankly, I can’t believe that no one has proposed it already.

Maybe we go with “Conference Mike TranghEast,” for fond memories’ sake. (AP)

After a couple solid years of making jokes about ManifEast Destiny, we may really have to rename the Big East. If the conference goes through with selling its brand to the just-hatching conference of Catholic basketball defectors — always knew the Big East wasn’t suited for football, didn’t we? — and the Sun Belt remains an independent entity, depriving us of the long dreamed-of SunBEast merger, fresh titling will be called for. The internet is here to help.

• “All-you-can-EAST Buffet” — @TomBraggSports

• “Bandwagons East” — @bbhrusty

• “the Middle East” — @WacJack

• “fEAST for Crows…we can read about the destruction of the Big East AND the family Stark…SIMULTANEOUSLY.” — @purplebuckeye

• “Cats n Corgis Conference (for SEO purposes, obvs)” — @tholzerman

• “Cease and DesEAST” — @ecuamerican

• “(Way) East of Eden” — @cyrisjonfs

• “EASTbound and Down” — IAmSpilly

• “The Big Espagnole” — @TCMcG

• “EastSPN3.Conference” — @MattCox

(We’ve tried all night and most of the morning to make a good Roll Tide joke out of this; if anybody can come up with one, do let us know.)