The story of a bowl, as told through social media.

Buff O’Bortles Bowl, one scant minute away! #bortlesball

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) December 22, 2012

In the spirit of accuracy, I’ll remind fellow tweeters that Beef ‘O’ Brady’s has an apostrophe before and after the O. Very odd. #magicjack

— Greg Auman (@gregauman) December 22, 2012

@siholly a real beef o Rita. twitpic.com/bo1ogx

— Tom Burns (@the_tom_burns) December 22, 2012

At what point does Kyle Van Noy show up and beat both of these teams?

— Tom Fornelli (@TomFornelli) December 22, 2012

I INTEND TO WATCH ALL THE BEEF OF BRADY.

— Tom McGrath (@TCMcG) December 22, 2012

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The stuffy, ill-lit wonder of Tropicana Field awaits the Knights and Cardinals. (AP)

The 2012 Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl is just hours away. We’re sure you have so many questions. We’re here to help. (For a Beef O’breakdown, click through to R.J. Rico’s game preview.)

• What’s all this, then? Why, it’s the former St. Petersburg Bowl, sponsored since 2009 by chain restaurant Beef ‘O’ Brady’s!

• Still, with the apostrophes? Still, and that is absolutely the last time we’re typing that out correctly in service to this game. Read on for more facts about the Beefobradys Bowl, sponsored by Beefing Brady!

• Did we ever figure out what a magicJack is? We did not.

• Where will this game be played? In the bleak radiance of Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Fla.

• When is it on television? Coverage begins at 7:30 p.m. ET on ESPN, with Dave Neal, Andre Ware, Desmond Howard and Cara Capuano on ESPN. The game will also be streamed on WatchESPN.

• Whom does it feature? Typically, the Big East and Conference USA.

• What about this year? A little Friday night MACtion! The Ball State Cardinals get to spend a December week in Florida instead of Indiana, where they’ll face the day-tripping Central Florida Knights.

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Just going to repeat yesterday’s MACtion preview caption here: “Behold Jordan Lynch. Fear Jordan Lynch.” (AP)

• Northern Illinois 31, Toledo 24. We do so love what’s become an annual late-season scramble for division supremacy between the Huskies and Rockets, and last night’s contest did not disappoint. The Huskies, who have won 10 games for the third straight year, will represent the MAC West in Detroit for the third consecutive season, and will face either Kent State or Bowling Green once they get there. Quarterback Jordan Lynch threw for 407 yards (a career best) and rushed for 162 more. No, by himself. No, seriously. Lynch was sent here by the football gods to make sure we all properly appreciate MACtion for the weeknight blessing it is. Message received. [BOX | RECAP]

• Ball State 52, Ohio 27. The Bobcats trailed by four points heading into halftime and were nearly doubled up by the end of the game, thanks mostly to a 21-point fourth-quarter scoring barrage from the Cardinals. Ball State scored three touchdowns in less than nine minutes on a Horactio Banks run, a Kelly Page pass and a Jahwan Edwards run. Page replaced starter Keith Wenning, who left the game in the second quarter with an Achilles injury. Also, this happened. [BOX | RECAP]

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What glories yet await Cory Dorris and the Golden Hurricane as Conference USA play continues? (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Tis the season for car commercials with big-ass bows and conference math. We attempted to explain, in bewildering detail, how the MAC races could shake out from here in our Wednesday night MACtion preview. We are here to inform you (with some glee, as we adore late-season chaos) that the MAC has far from the most convoluted conference race situation at the moment. Very quickly, the current states of the remaining non-AQ conference races, as teams not named Navy or BYU begin to prettify themselves for postseason suitors:

• Conference USA: Two teams with perfect 6-0 league play records top the two divisions: Central Florida in the East and Tulsa in the West. After Saturday, one squad’s record will bear some blemish when the two clash in Tulsa, but don’t expect that to affect the race. The Knights have only UAB to clear after that in the regular season, and hold a head-to-head advantage over East Carolina, the only other team in the division with fewer than three conference losses. Tulsa’s championship game aspirations could still be spoiled with a loss tonight and another at SMU November 24, assuming the Mustangs (4-2 in league play) beat Rice in the meantime.

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Behold Jordan Lynch. Fear Jordan Lynch. (AP)

Make tonight a MACtion night, won’t you? We’re here to answer any questions you may have, as long as they do not involve divining a winner of the MAC East.

Ohio at Ball State

• What information do I, the discerning consumer, require in order to consume this game? The Bobcats and Cardinals are scheduled to kick off at 8 p.m. ET at Scheumann Stadium. The game will be televised on ESPNU and streamed on WatchESPN.

• What’s at stake here? Jockeying for bowl invites, mostly. Both squads have clinched bowl eligibility, with 8-2 Ohio and 7-3 Ball State each holding a 4-2 record in the conference, respectively.

As to whether Ohio can still win the MAC East: If Kent State loses its last two games, giving it two conference losses, one would have to be to Ohio in the regular-season finale. That would leave both teams with identical 6-2 league records, and Ohio would hold the head-to-head tiebreaker over the Golden Flashes.

But Bowling Green — which is 5-1 in the MAC and beat Ohio last Wednesday — plays Kent State Nov. 17. Both teams can’t lose (and the MAC is very, very good this year, so that isn’t even a joke!), so while the Bobcats could end up tied with the Falcons at two losses apiece, they’ve already lost the tiebreaker.

Ball State, too, has two teams sitting above it in the West standings, Northern Illinois (6-0 in the MAC) and Toledo (5-1). The Cardinals lost to the Huskies in October, so even a two-game skid by NIU wouldn’t help them at all. Ball State holds a head-to-head advantage over Toledo, but a Rockets loss to NIU would only be enough to nudge the Cardinals into second place in the division.

That all make sense? We have now thoroughly confused ourselves, to the point where general consensus in our office is that Johnny Manziel will probably win the MAC East, by himself.

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Eyes on the prize, Colby Cameron. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

• Broncos and Bulldogs and bustin’. If you follow our pre- and midseason Crystal Ball projections, you know how hilariously bad we are at predicting which teams will land in which bowl games. But after a second loss, even Boise State’s new-money brand-name recognition won’t keep the Broncos afloat in the polls. So what does this mean for our early-season busting favorites, the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs? Quoth our designated postseason prognosticator, Stewart Mandel: “Louisiana Tech, No. 20 in the standings this week, may be that group’s lone hope, but the Bulldogs need to beat 8-2 Utah State in two weeks, climb at least four spots and hope BCS No. 16 Nebraska loses so that Tech finishes ahead of an AQ champ.” Same as it ever was when it comes to non-AQs with aspirations of crashing the party: Win big, and hope bigger. A perfect run through November won’t be easy for LaTech. Texas State should pose no problem in Week 11, but neither Utah State nor San Jose State are any kind of pushover.

Sonny Dykes, as ever, prefers to marvel at where he’s gotten this team once he gets there, and only then: “If we go and do not play well Saturday, Texas State will beat us and that will end all of the discussion. We have to worry about playing well this week, and like I said, when it is all over with, we will kind of look up and say, ‘Wow, here we are.’”

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Can Willie Snead break the game open for Ball State? (AP)

Tonight in America, you have a choice of talking heads. Choose Joe Tessitore, Desmond Howard and Tuesday night MACtion.

• What information do I, the discerning consumer, require in order to consume this game? The unranked Cardinals (6-3, 3-2 MAC) and No. 23 Rockets (8-1, 5-0 MAC) are scheduled to kick off at 8 p.m. ET in the Glass Bowl. The game will be televised on ESPN2 and streamed on WatchESPN.

• So what’s at stake here? Ball State won’t grab control of the MAC West by season’s end, not with its remaining schedule, NIU and Toledo both still undefeated in conference play and the Huskies already holding a head-to-head advantage over the Cardinals. (The Huskies and Rockets will settle their own score next Wednesday night.) But the Cardinals could still spoil the Rockets’ run at a division title with a win here, and it’s a Tuesday night MACtion game presided over by JoeTess. So, as usual with weeknight football, You Never Can Tell.

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Terrance Owens will do football things for Toledo, the MAC and America this Election Night. (AP)

• The greatest p.r. email we have received on this job begins thusly: “Tuesday, November 6th is Election Night for the country but it’s also a decisive night in the battle for the West Division crown of the Mid-American Conference. The Toledo Rockets host Ball State on Nov. 6 in a nationally televised contest at the Glass Bowl (8:00 p.m. / ESPN2) in what could help determine the eventual MAC champion.” We should probably get this framed. Preview coming later this afternoon for tonight’s game, right after Profiles in Profiteroles.

• Roster blotter: Matt Scott was, in fact, concussed against UCLA, and is questionable for Arizona’s game against Colorado … Washington State’s company line on Marquess Wilson is that Marquess Wilson is suspended … Bret Bielema is keeping the details of Wisconsin’s late-season quarterback race to himself … Boise State defensive tackle and internet favorite Mike “Bacon” Atkinson is through for the year with a torn ACL.

• Mack Brown trolls message boards all night long just writing “STAY CLASSY:” Because if there’s one real big problem college athletics has right now, it’s a lack of respect conveyed through hand signals and signs, amirite?

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Central Michigan scored a win for the MAC by knocking off Iowa in the final seconds. (Matthew Holst/Getty Images)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome:

This will mark our fifth season tracking the record of non-AQ programs against teams from power conferences, for no other reason than liking to watch where the numbers go. We’re not sure we’ve ever seen a weekend produce a winning record for a mid-major league that involved more than one or two games. But glory be to the MAC, which played seven games against BCS-favored opponents, and won four. (Yes, we’re even including Northern Illinois’ win over Kansas, even though Kansas is Kansas. COUNT IT.)

MAC teams beat one Big Ten team, two Big East teams and one Big 12 team. Directional Michigan schools had a particularly grand weekend, with Central Michigan knocking off Iowa and Western Michigan laying out UConn. Eastern Michigan also acquitted itself admirably, putting up a dogged fight against Michigan State.

The fifth big winner of Week 4 was the gaudiest: Louisiana Tech, a team with qualities we have been relentlessly touting since last December or so, mowed down Illinois on the road, 52-24. The Bulldogs currently field the nation’s third-ranked scoring offense and have two more high-profile nonconference matchups in the next three weeks: at Virginia and home against Texas A&M. Stay tuned; they’re our favorites behind Ohio to finish the 2012 regular season undefeated.

Speaking of the Bobcats: They’re through their nonconference gauntlet after a Week 4 win over Norfolk State and received 40 votes in this week’s AP Poll. The only other non-AQ teams on that list are Boise State at No. 24 and Louisiana Tech, which received seven votes.

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Robbie ‘Mighty Mouse’ Rouse, out for a leisurely stroll against one of the worst football teams in human memory. (AP)

Our weekly highlight show of lesser FBS luminaries. Non-AQs and independents, be welcome.

Soooo remember last week, when we were all “Robbie Rouse is 79 yards away from becoming Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, isn’t that swell?” We all know by now what happened next. So while we’ve got Mighty Mouse up on a pedestal, let’s put some of his teammates up there with him.

Video game football doesn’t begin to cover what Fresno State did to Colorado in Week 3; this was more akin to watching a cartoon. Were you aware … 

•  Rouse’s 94-yard touchdown run, the one that made him Fresno State’s all-time leading rusher, wasn’t even the Bulldogs’ longest scoring play of the game? On Fresno State’s prior possession, Derek Carr and Isaiah Burse combined for a 97-yard pitch-and-catch touchdown run.

•  Carr recorded his 300 passing yards and five touchdowns all in the first half?

•  Fresno State’s defense recorded four interceptions and four sacks?

•  Safety Phillip Thomas was responsible for three of those interceptions, two of which he returned for touchdowns?

•  Even the Bulldogs’ punter, Andrew Shapiro, got in on the rout with a career-long 69-yard punt? 

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