Laff Riot Week 7 Twitter wrap: Let the river run red with safeties

Tracing the tale of Week 7 through the magic of social media:

i’m just going to start referring to every college football game as the Red River Shootout

— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) October 12, 2012

After a surprisingly competent first half, Colorado welcomes debate viewers by stumbling head first into an open mine shaft. — Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) October 12, 2012

Oh man. Colorado is mounting a comeback. This is like watching the Charge of the Light Brigade. — BurritoBrosShits (@BurritoBrosShit) October 12, 2012

My favorite ESPN Game Day sign observed thus far for Notre Dame vs Stanford: “Catholics vs Conifers”.

— Whit Waide (@whitwaide) October 13, 2012

Happy Saturday, y’all! RT @pantherlair: Breaking news: there is a raccoon loose in the #Pitt band section at Heinz Field.

— SB Nation (@sbnation) October 13, 2012

@edsbs I want a water balloon fight — Watts Dantzler (@wattsdantzler) October 13, 2012

Ongoing CFB Mystery: Les Miles doesn’t have a hair color. — The Solid Verbal (@SolidVerbal) October 13, 2012

If you call Oklahoma vs Texas the “Red River Rivalry” instead of the “Shootout”, I don’t want to know you.

— Colin Seiler (@colinseiler) October 13, 2012

That Texas blocked PAT seems like a good thing at the time, but 20-2 actually sounds worse than 20-0.

— Stewart Mandel (@slmandel) October 13, 2012

Welp, already time for the Cotton Bowl to get all crimson and seats — Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) October 13, 2012

I like that Blake Bell still looks to the sideline on 1st-and-goal from the 2, like “What do you want me to do?” — Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) October 13, 2012

Some innovative offense in this Iowa-Mich St game. Each team has mastered the five yard pass on third and six

— Dan Wetzel (@DanWetzel) October 13, 2012

RT @runthedive: The NCAA makes instagram filters illegal, but is perfectly fine with Kansas State playing a Jeep at quarterback.

— Good Bull Hunting (@GBHunting) October 13, 2012

I think Collin Klein’s super power is “yeah, dudes think I’m super ultra slow, but really I’m just kinda slow. I beat angles like whoa” — Michael Felder (@InTheBleachers) October 13, 2012

This is what happens when you have bumper cars right outside the stadium RT @staceynycdc: ABC just showed a mass of TX fans leaving — Grimey (@loljocks_grimey) October 13, 2012

/Votes Duke #25 unironically

— Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) October 13, 2012

Damn. June Jones is going Highland Park first wife bitter to end his marriage with SMU.

— Steven Godfrey (@38Godfrey) October 13, 2012

@celebrityhottub couldn’t get rights to that, but firing up some Pinky and the Brain as we speak. — Andrea Wall (@AndeWall) October 13, 2012

Texas is like “uh uh, I seent this before. I’m going to get a fried snickers” — Michael Felder (@InTheBleachers) October 13, 2012

Those who don’t know history are destined to run the shotgun draw on 4th and short again.

— RaginCajunRebel (@RaginCajunRebel) October 13, 2012

Hugh Freeze on 4th and short is starting to remind me of Tin Cup trying to do whatever golf thing he was doing.

— Rick Muscles (@RickMuscles) October 13, 2012

Well, on the bright side, Texas vs. Oklahoma would have been the Pac-16 matchup of the week, so thank goodness for small favors. — Pacific Takes (@PacificTakes) October 13, 2012

Overtime in Iowa-Michigan State, because the rulebook insists. — Ralph D. Russo (@ralphDrussoAP) October 13, 2012

If Tulane holds on, there’ll be 3 winless teams in FBS: Southern Miss, Eastern Mich and UMass. Only 1 of those teams won 12 gms in 2011.

— Paul Myerberg (@PaulMyerberg) October 13, 2012

Well, Gene Chizik, sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the back on the OTHER team rolls over a tackler and keeps running.

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) October 13, 2012

My baby just saw Holgorsen or the first time and roared like a dinosaur #WVU — Adam (@AP_Bluff) October 13, 2012

Dana Holgorsen’s cussing jar is the fifth largest financial institution in America. — sir broosk (@celebrityhottub) October 13, 2012

Prediction for Missouri today: Very little stress for whatever berks reside on Alabama’s sideline.

— David Ubben (@davidubben) October 13, 2012

Today they are merely West Friggin’ Virginia.

— Ethan Booker (@Ethan_Booker) October 13, 2012

catching balls that hit the receiver in the hands#thingsmiamidoespoorly — lieutenant winslow (@lt_winslow) October 13, 2012

Nothing says awaken the echoes like piping in Crazy Town during big moments. — Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) October 13, 2012

Men in cowboy hats just tackled the streaker. Damn, that’s entertaining.

— Patrick Southern (@patricksouthern) October 13, 2012

Rece Davis does the impossible weekly: He makes me not turn the channel when Lou Holtz is on.

— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) October 13, 2012

They’re blowing on his knee? He’s not soup. Bama needs new trainers, y’all. — Rick Muscles (@RickMuscles) October 13, 2012

They are AAs. RT @dspewak: Walked into room adj to locker room. Pinkel WENT OFF. “You’re making them look like a bunch of #@ All-Americans!” — Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) October 13, 2012

Lubbock is in college football’s Bermuda Triangle

— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) October 13, 2012

Is a Jordan-on-Jordan touchdown the most Vanderbilt thing?

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) October 13, 2012

Do you have this Tweet on preset? RT @chitribhamilton: Tommy Rees warming up for #NotreDame on sideline. — Pete Thamel(@SIPeteThamel) October 13, 2012

Girl, when you rush from the arms of Everett Golson into the arms of Tommy Rees you need to meet some new damn men. — edsbs (@edsbs) October 13, 2012

Credit Seth Doege’s decision-making today. Despite every receiver being open on every single play, his head isn’t spinning.

— David Ubben (@davidubben) October 13, 2012

This is what happens when Holgorsen is forced to play in a dry county.

— FriendsoftheProgram (@FOTProgram) October 13, 2012

@siholly Right now DeForest is like the “Dinosaur Supervisor” in the credits for Jurassic Park. Terrible at his job. — Mark F. (@Calispiral) October 13, 2012

Guy at this wedding reception doesn’t want to know anything about WVU game because he’ll watch it on DVR. He’s so excited talking about it. — Chuck McGill (@chuckmcgill) October 13, 2012

I wrote a Notre Dame story and was able to use the word lore. That’s the definition of a successful trip to South Bend.

— Ralph D. Russo (@ralphDrussoAP) October 14, 2012

oh, and to the kids who were born after 1988: get ready to meet notre dame fan this season. he’s a trip and a half.

— Bomani Jones (@bomani_jones) October 13, 2012

Brian Griese just declared Mike Gillislee down by “contact of the left hamhock.” You win announcing this week, Brian. — edsbs (@edsbs) October 13, 2012

Spurrier: We’re playing in Louisiana this week. Team: Can we dress in homage to Master P? Spurrier: Can’t hear you golfing — Steven Godfrey (@38Godfrey) October 14, 2012

A WR named Ace Sanders who wears number 1? Apparently South Carolina simulated 5-6 seasons and is now playing with CPU-generated players.

— Danger Guerrero (@DangerGuerrero) October 14, 2012

BREAKING: I have been informed that the exact shade of Sonny Dykes’ track suit is the on-trend “anthracite.”

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) October 13, 2012

All starts are true — Les Miles ebooks (@Les_ebooks) October 14, 2012

Gamecocks rocking some Cornac McCarthy Arena League uniforms. #thefuture — The Gurgling Cod (@TheGurglingCod) October 14, 2012

Best part of Arkansas’ “anthracite” uni’s is the suspense that builds in the stadium while everyone awaits confirmation of who ran the ball.

— Blake Eddins (@_BlakeEddins) October 13, 2012

Matt Elam be hittin people with a lot of indignation.

— BurritoBrosShits (@BurritoBrosShit) October 13, 2012

ESTABLISH A PEE CORNER RT @nastinchka Currently stuck in the Independence Bowl elevator w/8 aTm assistants. The door won’t open. It is hot. — Doug (@CaptainAnnoying) October 14, 2012

100% chance a nude James Franklin stood in front of his team at halftime and screamed “MANDERBILT” over and over. One hundred. — sir broosk (@celebrityhottub) October 14, 2012

55,000 cowbells sounds like 55 million cicadas with megaphones.

— govols247.com (@govols247) October 14, 2012

Just saw Matt Millen in the pressbox. He’s rocking a three-piece suit, bow tie… and tennis shoes. #swag

— Joe Galbraith (@joestate) October 13, 2012

How do you beat Connor Shaw? This seems like something that people should know — Grimey (@loljocks_grimey) October 14, 2012

Um … So there are fireworks going off at Razorback Stadium. And they aren’t supposed to. — Robbie Neiswanger (@NWARobbie) October 14, 2012

@bomani_jones ‘now here’s a guy who doesn’t quit he takes a lickin and gets back up that voorhees is a grinder’

— Martin Rickman (@martinrickman) October 14, 2012

In all honesty, can we discuss how amazing it is that Gigi Meyer calls her dad Urbs?

— Jeff Svoboda (@JeffSvoboda) October 14, 2012

Steve Spurrier is like Kool-Aid: it’s best when purple — Doug (@CaptainAnnoying) October 14, 2012

Hey look a Texas A&M second half thing — Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) October 14, 2012

I don’t Advocare what the final score is, I’m proud of La. Tech tonight.

— RaginCajunRebel (@RaginCajunRebel) October 14, 2012

We don’t have a working scoreboard, so I’ll be making up the time, down and distance from here on out

— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) October 14, 2012

Johnny Manziel is basically the living avatar of a teenager playing Tecmo Bowl, transported two decades into the future. — Colin Seiler (@colinseiler) October 14, 2012

Connor Halliday showing off the wheels. They’re kinda like Hot Wheels that get stuck when they’re all gunked up — Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) October 14, 2012

@andy_staples I set the DVD to record for 6 hours I might have the only completela tech A&M game

— John Mezger (@JMez1973) October 14, 2012

Les Miles: “That was Death Valley. That was the place where opponents’ dreams go to die. It was spectacular.”

— Travis Haney (@TravHaneyESPN) October 14, 2012

I am SOOO glad I came to Shreveport. #NeverthoughtIdSayThat

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) October 14, 2012