Posted September 19, 2012

Wednesday Night Bites: Kent State at Buffalo (FAQ)

Buffalo Bulls, Kent State Golden Flashes, Wednesday Night Bites

Will Branden Oliver and Buffalo buffalo the Golden Flashes? Tune in and find out or we cannot be friends anymore. (AP)

Kent State and Buffalo play the first Wednesday college football game of the year tonight. We’re sure you have so many questions.

• What information do I, the discerning consumer, need to consume this game? The Bulls and Golden Flashes kick off in Buffalo at 7 p.m. ET. The game will be televised on ESPNU. Both teams are 1-1 entering their first conference contest.

Why should we care? Because MACtion! Weeknight games are the perennial best bet for high-scoring all-nighters.

But Kent State is averaging fewer than 28 points per game! First, that’s after two games. Second, Buffalo is averaging close to 40. Finally, through two games, there is a statistical certainty that Kent State will do something like this, or like this, on television. We want to be there to see it.

From whom can we expect to see some neat breakaway plays? Names to remember for the space of this evening: Buffalo’s Branden Oliver and Kent State’s Dri Archer. Oliver, a junior running back, had a 111-yard outing against Georgia in Week 1. Archer is right on Trayion Durham’s heels for the team lead in rushing yards but shines more as a kick return man. And he knows which way to run, with these kicked balls that he catches? It would appear that he does. Archer has recorded 253 yards and a touchdown after just six return attempts in two games.

• Can we please now discuss the greatest sentence in the English language, “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo”? WE CAN INDEED. Buffalo?

So, buffalo who live in Buffalo (e.g., at the Buffalo Zoo, which does, indeed, have buffalo), and who are buffaloed (in a way unique to Buffalo) by other buffalo from Buffalo, themselves buffalo (in the way unique to Buffalo) still other buffalo from Buffalo.

Hope that clears everything up.

• What should I do until kickoff? Definitely reacquaint yourselves with “Guy on a Buffalo” so you can improvise football-themed lyrics on the fly this evening.

3 comments
3k_
3k_

@Nastinchka question: when explaining MACtion to the uninitiated, is it "hot" or "sweet"?

Nastinchka
Nastinchka

@3k_ I think more sweet. WACtion should probably be hot.