Twitter roundup: Week 3 Laff Riot

Tracking the zeitgeist of college football’s third weekend through social media:

Will the Cougs be Leaching Las Vegas w/ a win?

— Michael Felder (@InTheBleachers) September 15, 2012

Terrible kill by Marquess Wilson. #Pac12Volleyball

— edsbs (@edsbs) September 15, 2012

Very appropriate ending to the football equivalent of raccoons rummaging through garbage cans. Sure it’s fun to watch, but what a mess.

— Ralph D. Russo (@ralphDrussoAP) September 15, 2012

@edsbs Too bad Carter had to give up the magician gig due to ESPN’s ‘no Christian magicians’ policy. Same thing happened to Olbermann.

— Flubber McGee (@FlubberMcGee) September 15, 2012

Deon Bucannon’s four-way head turn there was magnificent toddler-opera: 1. “DAWG!” 2 wait 3. Naw I was– 4. DANG [flag]

— edsbs (@edsbs) September 15, 2012

Blogging games from home in Dallas today, but @collegegameday has already injected a healthy amount of zing in my zang zang. #ComeAlong

— David Ubben (@davidubben) September 15, 2012

‘one time i went to louisiana and i ate a turkey sandwich and because of that i’m picking vt over pitt’ –kenny chesney

— Martin Rickman (@MartinRickman) September 15, 2012

On some lake, Bill Dance is tending the trolling motor completely unconcerned that @collegegameday absolutely blew the guest picker choice.

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) September 15, 2012

Desmond’s pick for ND-Mich State: rain of fire and locusts.

— Ralph D. Russo (@ralphDrussoAP) September 15, 2012

What is the decision matrix that results in wearing a dress with a train to a football game?

— The Gurgling Cod (@TheGurglingCod) September 15, 2012

how long do you think jim grobe and frank beamer could stare at each other with their arms crossed w/out moving

— Martin Rickman (@MartinRickman) September 15, 2012

I get the sentiment behind this Urban Meyer family contract, but who’s to say he won’t just take a year off sick and then find a new family?

— sir broosk (@celebrityhottub) September 15, 2012

Casey Pachall: “Watch me make this pass.” Pachall’s brain: “Um, you sure?” Pachall: “SHUT UP, BRAIN.” Touchdown.

— Bill Connelly (@SBN_BillC) September 15, 2012

Dayne Crist must have the worst “Desire to Run/Ability to Run” ratio in the nation.

— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 15, 2012

Wake Forest’s punt team declines to sully itself with the proletarian ritual of “tackling.” 14-0 FSU.

— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 15, 2012

Starting to think ULM has a real shot at making it to Atlanta.

— Rick Muscles (@RickMuscles) September 15, 2012

Well, no longer in OT. UL-Monroe loses its footing in the SEC West championship race, will probably have to settle for the Outback Bowl now.

— Vico (@ourhonordefend) September 15, 2012

Edsall: “I have emotions. I don’t think you’d be human if you didn’t have emotions.” His voice cracked a bit while talking about UConn.

— Patrick Stevens (@D1scourse) September 15, 2012

Coaching? @sethemerson Still breaking down what went wrong at end of Maryland -UConn game.

— Mark Schlabach (@Mark_Schlabach) September 15, 2012

However, Larry Fedora is right, if you go to the bathroom you will miss a touchdown. He didn’t specify that it would be the other team’s.

— Michael Felder (@InTheBleachers) September 15, 2012

“If Arkansas still had a grouchy and untrustworthy head coach, Bama would only be leading by 35.” <– one theory, apparently

— Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) September 15, 2012

Alabama looks like it’s running offense against air.

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) September 15, 2012

Another Jim Bob Cooter fan! Nice to meet you! RT @matthew_mirro: Did anyone else notice a certain player from the SEC who also wore #15?!?!?

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) September 15, 2012

Chizik: “You can view it any way you want to view it. I view it as a great win.” Oh, boy.

— Aaron Brenner (@wareagleextra) September 15, 2012

Louisville’s keys to the second half: darken the skies above, make the clouds rain blood and spiders, run the clock

— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) September 15, 2012

That’s right, say it with pride… RT @cuse SU forces SB to punt and takes over at the SB 45 with 1:36 left in the half.

— Mallory Rubin (@MalloryRubin) September 15, 2012

Can we all agree that Arkansas shouldn’t be as bad as this? I mean, they are, but shouldn’t be.

— Smart Football (@smartfootball) September 15, 2012

Holy moly, SMU has an O lineman named McJunkin. Marriage potential.

— Andrea Wall (@AndeWall) September 15, 2012

I’M IN ATLANTIC CITY AND PUNCHING ANYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE AL GROH

— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) September 15, 2012

College football coaches should start riding horses on the sidelines like Civil War generals.

— Danger Guerrero (@DangerGuerrero) September 15, 2012

i think that any team with a four-touchdown deficit at the half should have to play the second in upside-down sleeping bags

— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) September 15, 2012

Will Muschamp just never looks comfortable in chinos. That’s a huge handicap for a college coach.

— SC_DougFarrar (@SC_DougFarrar) September 15, 2012

“I said a SIX-INCH, MEATBALL sub, not a GOT-DANG FOOT-LONG CHICKEN PARMESAN” — Will Muschamp just now

— Doug (@CaptainAnnoying) September 15, 2012

LeVeon Bell probably headed for another 40-plus carry game. He’s on pace to leave Michigan State with a degree in sociology and no ligaments

— Dan Wetzel (@DanWetzel) September 16, 2012

Florida pulled the biggest trick they had out to try and beat Tennessee: a passing game.

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 16, 2012

Pretty chill of Marshall to use the “NO FEAR” font in their typography guidelines for “THE HERD”.

— Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) September 16, 2012

/starts fire in den

— George Tirebiter (@CoastalCowbell1) September 16, 2012

Mizzou has an official bratwurst. So proud of my alma mater.

— Maggie Hendricks (@maggiehendricks) September 16, 2012

No, USC is gonna be able to handle this Utah front just fine. We’re talking about weather patterns, right?

— Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) September 16, 2012

Bret Bielema feels the need to ice Utah State’s kicker. #strangetruesentences

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) September 16, 2012

#HAMTOPPERS

— SB Nation (@sbnation) September 16, 2012

…And Wisconsin is a competent kicker away from 1-2.

— Land-Grant Holy Land (@Landgrant33) September 16, 2012

Sorry, Matt Barkley. That was more Windows Phone 7 than iPhone 5

— Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) September 16, 2012

@nastinchka evidently Stanford consulted the classics department about who to fear more

— DCTrojan (@DCTrojan) September 16, 2012

QUICK! Someone ask Kiffin about injuries. GO

— SB Nation (@sbnation) September 16, 2012

TROLLGAZE EVENT HORIZON “@peteryoonespn: Could USC fall below UCLA in the rankings this week?”

— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) September 16, 2012

BYU benefits from the rarely used “just because it’s stupid doesn’t make it a fumble” rule.

— sir broosk (@celebrityhottub) September 16, 2012

Considering I gave out Utah + 3 1/2 & was staring at a potential all time OT bad beat, thumbs down on the rogue swarm of rapscallion Utes

— Scott Van Pelt (@notthefakeSVP) September 16, 2012

EVERYBODY IN THAT STADIUM: GO TO YOUR ROOMS

— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) September 16, 2012