Posted September 06, 2012

Thursday Night Bites: Pitt at Cincinnati (FAQ)

All-Name Team, Cincinnati Bearcats, Injuries, Pitt Panthers, Player Suspensions, Thursday Night Bites

It is immensely difficult not to like any football player named Munchie Legaux. (AP)

Pittsburgh and Cincinnati play a single game tonight that makes up the entirety of your Thursday college football viewing schedule. We’re sure you have so many questions.

• What information do I, the discerning consumer, need to consume this game? The Panthers and Bearcats kick off at 8 p.m. ET in Cincinnati’s Nippert Stadium. The game will be televised on ESPN.

• That is a fun word to say. What, Nippert? Yes! Nippert. Nippert. There is a plucky sensuality about it that I find alluring. The venue is billed as the “fourth-oldest playing site and fifth-oldest stadium in college football.” It also comes with a somber history:

During the season-ending clash with rival Miami (Ohio) in 1923, Jimmy Nippert sustained a spike wound injury and died a month later from blood poisoning. His grandfather, James N. Gamble of Procter and Gamble, provided the funds needed to complete the horseshoe-shaped structure, and the James Gamble Nippert Memorial Stadium was dedicated on Nov. 8, 1924.

• Wait, seriously, this is it for tonight? On television, if you want to watch major college football, yes.

• OMG, gross. If there is a bright side to this game, it’s this: Both of these teams are winless, but one of them is also lossless! We already know that Pitt is capable of losing by two touchdowns to the Youngstown State Penguins, but the Panthers’ Week 2 opponent is making its debut. The Bearcats had a Week 1 bye and will tune up against Pitt and Delaware State before taking on Virginia Tech on Sept. 29.

Was Youngstown State any good last year? The Penguins went 6-5 with a 4-4 conference record in 2011. They finished sixth out of nine teams in the MVC.

• Can you say “Pitt’s playing on short rest after Youngstown State” with a straight face? We are trying. We are really, really trying.

• So the only upside to watching this game is that Cincinnati might be fun to watch, but we’re not sure yet? That’s not all! The Bearcats also feature All-Name Team lock Munchie Legaux as their starting quarterback.

• Anybody to watch for Pitt? Keep an eye on senior running back Ray Graham, who was sidelined last October by an ACL tear and returned to rush for 71 yards on 14 carries last week. Six Panther players suspended for the team’s season opener also return tonight.

• Skyline Chili or a Primanti Bros. sandwich? Both, at the same time. We are declaring the Skyline Sandwich the official food of this game, because we need something to live for.

19 comments
jbrinkmeyer
jbrinkmeyer

Not really sure why you're bad mouthing great football. This is a much better/entertaining game to watch than a Big Ten or ACC matchup.

Briligerent
Briligerent like.author.displayName 1 Like

A Skyline Primanti Bros. Sandwich might break known records for ratio of quantity of ingredients to lack of taste.

SIHolly
SIHolly moderator

 @Briligerent But can you IMAGINE anything more college footballish than a sandwich containing both chili and French fries?

Briligerent
Briligerent

 @SIHolly While it's an old gag, I have yet to see anything so much as take a swing at King KFC Chicken Bowl.

MichaelRunnels
MichaelRunnels like.author.displayName 1 Like

This is the best SI can do?  Is this Sports Illustrated or a review from Marie Claire?  The Bearcats are "lossless?"  They've won (or co-won) the Big East Championship 3 out of the last 4 years, have gone to a bowl game in 7 of the last 10.  They've also been a top 25 team in 3 of the last 4 years, and the only thing the writer can "live for" is some stupid food joke.  Until Pitt took a nosedive this past weekend, this game was one of the more interesting match-ups in the first week of the season.  This is beyond ignorant.

SIHolly
SIHolly moderator like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @MichaelRunnels "Until Pitt took a nosedive this past weekend, this game was one of the more interesting match-ups in the first week of the season.  <--- This is beyond ignorant." Fixed that for you, sir. No charge. 

BobbyBigWheel
BobbyBigWheel like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

Facts about Cincinnati (courtesy of the Hamilton County Chamber of Commerce):

The mayor of Cincinnati is elected every year in a pie-eating contest.  That's why the city was briefly governed in the '80s by an elephant that had escaped from the zoo.

All U.S. laws are valid in Cincinnati.  However, if the cops start to pursue you, you can jump your car over the Ohio River into Kentucky and escape prosecution.

The official song of Cincinnati is Anticipation by Carly Simon.

Cincinnati has a lovely downtown area.  However, please avoid the Sarlacc pit off of Vine Street.

WindyCityMatt
WindyCityMatt

Skyline is gross.

sffdave
sffdave

This article is a joke.  Another sad attempt to rag on the Big East.  How about we rest our judgement of teams until they actually play a few games. As for your Skyline comment, it is freaking awesome and there is no such thing as a Skyline sandwich.  Get your facts straight.

david_roy
david_roy

 @sffdave I am eating a Skyline sandwich RIGHT NOW. 

david_roy
david_roy

 @runthedive I feel almost as bad as a Cincinnati mayoral candidate after a compulsory pie-eating contest.

runthedive
runthedive

 @david_roy I'm not a doctor, but if I were you I'd seek medical attention sooner rather than later.

SIHolly
SIHolly moderator

 @sffdave Hellooo, we are INVENTING it for the purposes of this game. 

duckhook7
duckhook7

 @NDEddieMac  @SIHolly  @celebrityhottub1 I was under the impression a "Skyline Sandwich" was a euphemism for a sexual act involving Brian Kelly and Mark Dantonio performed until right before climax, followed by loud yelling.