If pressed to pick our favorite uniforms in college football, our choices would probably disappoint our pals at Nike and adidas and UnderArmour. We like getups like Michigan State’s and Alabama’s when they’re not wearing their Pro Combats, Tennessee’s and Penn State’s when they’re not doing a blackout or a whiteout, UCLA’s and Notre Dame’s. We are weirdly old-fashioned in our football fashion sense and do not know why. (The lone exception: These Oregon mockups, which we desperately want to be real.) But we will stand practically alone right now and say (as though our words carry any meaning) that we at first really liked what was going on with the Fighting Irish’s Shamrock Series wear that adidas cooked up.
Front view: Clean lines, nice and simple, and not sure what’s going on with the helmets there but let’s not worry about that just yet.
Back view: With a better view of the helmet, the gold side looks like no other helmet in football at the moment, but what on earth is that thing covering half of this player’s head … ?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF MY SCREEN.
There’s some real literary tragedy happening here. If the cameras were placed in the end zones for the entirety of the game these uniforms would really pop on television, but they’re not. You’re going to be looking at that side view the entire time, and there is just so, so very too much happening there. JUST PICK A HELMET, GUYS. PICK ONE HELMET WITH ONE THING ON IT AND STICK WITH IT. THERE ARE SO MANY GAMES IN WHICH YOU CAN WEAR DIFFERENT HELMETS, BUT PLEASE ONLY WEAR ONE AT A TIME, AND ALSO GET OFF MY LAWN.
As the last shreds of dignity are stripped from something I hold dear, I realize that I just cannot summon the energy for apoplexy any more.
I am increasingly embarrassed to be associated in any way with this program, however distantly and tangentially. And my emotional investment in the thing continues to wane. I am not alone in this.
The people charged with stewardship of this thing have failed and failed miserably for a very long time. It’s just that in the past year, it’s reached the realm of the absurd.
And what say you, people of internet?
Look at these helmets. This is Notre Dame. My god, look at them. cbsprt.co/P1gosO
— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) August 16, 2012
the new adidas uniforms make notre dame look like battletoads characters
— Martin Rickman (@MartinRickman) August 16, 2012
Waiting for Lisa Frank to come out with a Clemson pro combat uni
— Theo Huxtable (@theosballad) August 16, 2012
‘Man, these Sanrio joints gonna make Barkley look so fly!’ – Lane Kiffin
— BurritoBrosShits (@BurritoBrosShit) August 16, 2012
I take back my excitement about Kennesaw State joining Adidas. We can’t be out here looking like Notre Dame.
— Jason Kirk (@JasonKirkSBN) August 16, 2012
For more metaphorical garment-rending, please enjoy SB Nation’s Fall Plumage Review.