Designated Read: We are about to say something nice about Memphis

• You would have to have absolutely zero familiarity with us to think we’re joking. Stand down, crabby Scout denizens; we’re serious: This is one of the best promo videos we have ever seen. Wonder of wonders, it is actually funny; how often do university videos find success in that department? The gently swaying hips. The “SHUT UP, DENNIS!” The punctuating vending machine punch at the end. Well done, Memphis. [Via.]

• May our children forgive us. The Pac-12 Networks went live Wednesday night, without any untoward destruction of property. There’s a new website, which is unsurprisingly slick. Here is a joke about cupcakes.

• George Clooney was born in Lexington, which has nothing to do with what you are about to see. Can we not get Joker Phillips a better band? Has the man not suffered enough? Here, soothe those frayed nerve endings with this video of Kentucky’s players horsing around at the pool.

• Injury report story hour. C.J. Brown, Maryland’s starting quarterback, tore his ACL in a non-contact drill and will miss the 2012 season … so, too, will USC defensive end DeVante Wilson, who missed last season as well with an ACL tear in his other leg … Clemson offensive tackle Gifford Timothy is recovering from meniscus surgery and is not expected to suit up against Auburn … New Mexico’s starting quarterback, B.R. Holbrook, left practice with “shortness of breath and tightness in his chest and shoulder area” and was taken to an Albuquerque hospital … and this is the precise opposite of an injury, but Robert Woods sure looks like he’s doing well.

• Roster blotter. Michael Dyer now reportedly plans not to play football in 2012 at all … Kansas import Jordan Webb will start at quarterback for Colorado (grind those molars, Texas partisans) … Ole Miss seems to be leaning toward not naming a quarterback until after Week 1 … and yes, that’s that Johnny “Shirtless Mugshot” Manziel earning the starting QB gig at Texas A&M. ESS EEE CEE.

• Misc. The AJC asks its sports recruiting audience, “What are your thoughts? Which side do you believe? What is right and what is wrong?” but reaps a comment thread depressingly void of any meditations on man’s inhumanity to man … We suppose Bane Kiffin was something of an inevitability, but that doesn’t make it any less delightful … Central Michigan introduces an all-black uni that looks absolutely gorgeous … Wyoming games will be on television, somewhere … and hey, here is a neat article stating that Syracuse provides a better home game atmosphere than Alabama! We are sure no one will have anything to say about that.