• See, it’s funny because Brian Kelly does this amaaazing Violet Beauregard impression while trapped in the persona of Mike Teavee. Notre Dame is special. You probably knew that. But did you know the Fighting Irish head football coach writes names of recruits on offer letters with his own hands? And then signs them? If stationery were a verb, ND would be stationerying like a champion today. And every day.
• Hail, mortal. Mark Blaudschun reports this morning that the Big East is set to name CBS executive Mike Aresco conference commissioner.
• Today’s Penn State update. The university’s accreditation “could be threatened as a result of the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal.”
• These are all good questions. We are less interested with the possibility of historical trends of academic fraud at UNC than with finding out how Julius Peppers’ transcript was publicly accessible in the first place. But never fear: Peppers’ agent is (allegedly) on the case!
• Yes, but could he beat the Dream Team? Denard Robinson thinks he can run faster than Usain Bolt. CBS Sports investigates.
• Rub some dirt on it. Logan Pegram, NIU’s lone returning starter on the O-line, is out indefinitely with a broken leg … Minnesota O-lineman Jimmy Gjere is hanging up his cleats for good due to lingering effects of a head injury … and all three of USC’s starting linebackers have injured themselves in some fashion.
• Roster blotter. Texas A&M transfer Brian Thomas has already been dismissed from Texas Tech … Ousted FSU corner Greg Reid is bound for Valdosta State … Tyler Moore is home in Florida weighing a return to Nebraska versus playing closer to home … and Tyrann Mathieu is “permanently ineligible” at LSU, according to the school’s compliance office.
• Quote of the day. You can almost hear Terrelle Pryor polishing his nails on his shirt as he utters this, can’t you? From an Associated Press report on preseason Oakland Raiders action:
“Coming out of high school, I was just an athlete that just, whenever the guy was open, I didn’t know what I was reading,” he said. “When I saw a guy open, I threw the ball. Now, coming out of college, I learned to read defenses. I wasn’t blessed enough to be at a powerhouse that you learn that stuff as a quarterback. So, I’m working and I’m going to get good.”
• Misc. Rocky Long, we will revere you all year if you give this thing a shot … Pete Lembo has, as of this writing, 619 Twitter followers. Let’s get that number up. Look what you’re missing … you will grow used to the icy feel of Urban Meyer’s handshake … and somebody at the Pac-12 Networks had the curious inspiration to hit up Reggie Bush for publicity. Yup.