We have finally figured out what’s bothering us about the concept of being buried in sports attire or in a team-branded casket or whatever, and it’s the same reason raising statues to living heroes makes us nervous: The capacity for future disappointment. We’ve talked in this space about what might happen to Nick Saban’s statue if he ever exits Tuscaloosa under a dark cloud. Now imagine you’re a Texas A&M devotee, looking down from an idyllic Aggie heaven years from now, only to discover you’re buried steps away from a stadium where they’re finally allowing female yell leaders. You’ll have to start haunting the stadium, and once you start, you can’t really stop until you get what you want. That’s just bad ghosting.
• How long to grow Landry Jones an adamantium exoskeleton? Oklahoma’s offensive line is dropping like, uh, a defensive line playing OU. Veteran center Ben Habern had to call it a career last week over injury concerns. Redshirt freshman Dylan Dismuke has been knocked out of the game for good by a traitorous knee. Starting guard Tyler Evans tore his ACL Friday, and freshman John Michael McGee, according to his Twitter account, seems to be headed back to his home state of Arkansas.
• Penn State’s board might end up suing the NCAA. About the only thing we can say about this is that it would make a nice break from all the times Penn State is about to get sued? Bylaw blogger John Infante has an interesting thought, though:
If I were the NCAA, I would just grant this and the Paterno family appeal request, and make it the first televised hearing ever.
— John Infante (@John_Infante) August 6, 2012
• A transplant sprouts new roots. Silas Redd “was quick to fist-bump teammates who made good plays” in his first practice as a Trojan.
• Aaaaahhh. AAAAAAAHHHHHH. About the only thing opposing teams facing Jadeveon Clowney had going for them was knowing roughly where he would be on the field. No more, says Steve Spurrier. Sleep tight, SEC East.
• Can he also play defensive line? Maryland takes brand-new Power Wheels Jeep Stefon Diggs out for a spin:
“We’ve got to devise ways to get him the football,” Maryland receivers coach Lee Hull said. “Hand him the ball — that’s a way to get the ball in his hands.”
You know, they just might be onto something in College Park.
• ESS EEE CEE MATHS. So it turns out that when you lose a bunch of players from your football team, there are fewer players remaining on your football team to play football with.
• And now, an item we are posting solely because HUD MELLENCAMP. Previously, in Tales of John Cougar Mellencamp Offspring’s Athletic Pursuits:
— Holly Anderson (@SIHolly) June 4, 2012
In today’s episode: John Mellencamp’s son Hud Mellencamp actually walks on to Duke football. That is all.