We get asked a lot why we bother with SEC Media Days. Occasionally, we wonder ourselves. But every year we skip could mean missing out on the next Robbie Caldwell, which in 2012 happened to be Arkansas’ new head ballcoach. He tops our 2012 SEC Media Days Power Rankings:
1. John L. “Johnelle” “John-El” Smith: He shook hands with the cameramen. He openly ridiculed questions at the podium. He introduced a nation to the slogan “GET YOUR PISS HOT.” He has extremely expressive hands, which we have named Butterscotch and Flibbertigibbey. Are we overly susceptible to folksiness? Probably. Do we care? Not a fig. LSU-Arkansas 2012 just morphed into a buddy-cop movie where both leads are the loose cannon on the force. Not a by-the-book buttoned-down type in sight, and we can hardly wait.
2. T.J. Moe: Mizzou’s leading receiver brought a rare burst of logic to the dreaded “how excited are you” question: ”We’re as excited as anybody. We’re the ones that actually have to go out there and do it.” Oh, and then he went and said this:
Mizzou’s T.J. Moe on SEC: “They say girls are prettier here, air’s fresher & toilet paper is thicker”
— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyCBS) July 17, 2012
3. Dan Mullen’s lunch: This was the talk of the conference for like an hour, which really explains Media Days better than actually going there ever could:
— Casio Kid (@themattmitchell) July 18, 2012
4. JaWuan James: Tennessee’s starting right tackle displayed a refreshing awareness of the potential pitfalls of life as a lineman:
Ja’Wuan James said Vols O-line is going to Dollywood before camp. I asked whether they fit on every ride. He said no. “We have to make do.”
— govols247.com (@govols247) July 19, 2012
5. Mike Marry’s facial hair game: Just padding his chinstrap, guys:
Ole Miss’ Mike Marry with a beard one can only call “Xerxes’ Surprise”: twitter.com/edsbs/status/2…
— edsbs (@edsbs) July 19, 2012
6. E.J. Gaines’ hair show: Strong, strong showing from Mizzou’s student ambassadors all around:
— Edward Aschoff (@AschoffESPN) July 17, 2012
7. Gene Stallings’ slow roll: You don’t need a motorcade to make a traffic statement:
Pray u never have the displeasure of getting stuck walking behind Gene Stallings at a mall. The man’s crew rolls like a funeral procession
— Will West (@WillWestWNML) July 19, 2012
9. The Chick-fil-A Old Leather Helmet, which it turns out you can photograph in just about any scenario without raising objections:
Clemson’s gonna be meeean to meeee!
10. Tommy Tuberville: This Tubz-at-Auburn-era Arby’s-branded bobblehead will have to do until Jimmy Sexton can wrest you from Lubbock, TT.
We now shift our focus to our next assignment, ACC Media Days, to which we have never been. Should we bring a covered dish, or is that just for Big Ten events? Will they even let us in the building if we don’t know how to play golf? Can anybody there hope to re-bait Tom O’Brien into another Bryce Harper impression?
Let’s find out, shall we?