We’re hitting the road for our first swing through spring camps, so you’re getting your roundup reading today. Normal posting will resume Monday.
• Wisconsin wins Whimsy Wednesday! Wowsers! Bret Bielema (the alliteration hits just keep on coming) has landed high-profile transfer fish and Maryland refugee Danny O’Brien, and will attempt to stage an encore presentation of 2011′s smash hit, “Anything Your ACC Quarterback Can Do, He Can Do Better Here,” starring Russell Wilson. (It’s a working title.) Our sincere best wishes to O’Brien, whom we hope informed Randy Edsall of his decision by leaving a terse answering machine message explaining that Wisconsin is his “dream school.”
• This blurb also not sponsored by Allstate. No Allstate Police Blotter Item of the Week this week thanks to a strange lull in college football-adjacent crime, but we can’t let the week pass without recognizing the efforts of Boston College defensive lineman Jaryd Rudolph, who got himself busted making a sex tape of a teammate and a female BC student. It was an audio-only sex tape, making it the “losing to one-win Maryland” of erotica. (Sorry, Terps. Not your day. Here, have a metaphor.)
• Hail to the Sun Belt, sure is a fun belt, Ra! Ra! Ra! Georgia State to the Sun Belt one scant season after joining the CAA? Sure, why not? This is the age of San Diego State to the Big East, and nothing is sacred or sensical.
• Horrorstat of the week.
The last time UCLA’s No. 1 QB made it thru a season was 2005 (Drew Olson). Kevin Craft was No. 3 before Ben Olson and Pat Cowan got hurt.
— chris foster (@cfosterlatimes) March 27, 2012
• Fantasy draft pick of the week.
I seriously hope the New York Jets draft Stephen Garcia.
— Ben Kercheval (@CFTBenKerch) March 28, 2012
• Misc. We are ashamed to note this has never happened in college football as far as we know. Seantrel Henderson is maybe gonna start being good at football. Jim Mora is a glib dude who knows his apocalypse weapons. And now, Michigan linemen on a tandem bike. Our own Andy Staples explains important things about the parts of speech “barbecue” can and cannot be, and you will abide him.