We don’t usually address events surrounding college players who are preparing for the pros. That’s traditionally kept for our fine draftniks and NFL-covering brethren. But, you know, it’s just not every day that you hear about three people being stopped by police while leaving Miami’s Pro Day with stolen university-branded folding chairs in the trunk of a car. From a Coral Gables police report:
Mr. John Routh, an employee of the University of Miami, observed the Subjects [...] taking University of Miami property (2 Green padded University of Miami folding football chairs) from the rear of the Hecht Athletic Center, and placing the property in the trunk of a Red/Maroon Nissan Altima. [...] Mr. Routh called the University of Miami Police and I responded, intercepting the vehicle as it left the parking lot with the chairs in the trunk.
The three people in the vehicle went on to tell police that they thought the chairs were there to take away, an account Routh disputed, according to the report. Routh, you might recall, served as Sebastian during one of the costumed mascot’s more adventurous periods. Sebastian turned snitch. Did you ever think you’d live to see the day?
See, this is exactly the kind of distraction that UCLA was hoping to avoid when team personnel banned parents from watching their sons participate in the Bruins’ Pro Day. There’s a high potential for unseemly hooting and hollering (let he/she who has not screamed for a son/nephew/brother to break an opponent’s leg in the heat of the fourth quarter cast the first stones) and, of course, the accompanying risk that family members will attempt to abscond with university property.
Not that we can exactly blame them; the chairs are valued at $100 on the police report. We’ve never seen a folding chair that costs that much, but this is Florida, so maybe they had some kind of Swarovski bedazzling going on? Were the chairs padded with the feathers of rare cranes? If anybody out there sells Swarovski-encrusted folding chairs, drop us a line. Tailgating season’s getting closer all the time.