Posted March 02, 2012

Jim McElwain calling all big men at Colorado State

Recruiting

Newly appointed Colorado State head coach Jim McElwain hopes to address a lack of depth at offensive and defensive lines. (AP)

Freshly-hatched Colorado State head ball coach Jim McElwain is afraid the Rams might have misplaced some wee linemen between couch cushions in and around Fort Collins football facilities. Hoping to plug holes in the lines for spring practices, McElwain is on the prowl for somebody — anybody — to step up from the student body.

Seriously, they don’t even necessarily have to be live bodies, or human, from the sound of it. So if you’re hoarding a pet bison on campus in anticipation of an eventual retaliatory prank against Colorado, step right up.

This from The Associated Press was priceless: “Specific height? Doesn’t matter. Particular weight? He’s not picky. The only requirement McElwain has is tenacity. Oh, and a valid student ID.”

Any students with earned credit hours in grittiness, gutsiness, or guttiness are also invited to attend, and soup├žons of sticktoitiveness will be recorded in your favor.

And in all seriousness, CSU ranked 116th nationally in rushing defense, 114th in tackles for loss, 106th in sacks allowed and lost to UNLV last October. So bringing in guys who had nothing to do with that is not the worst idea we’ve ever heard.

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