The 2012 BCS National Championship Game is just hours away. We’re sure you have so many questions. We’re here to help.
• Where will this game be played? The recently befancied Mercedes-Benz Superdome, home field for the New Orleans Saints, Tulane Green Wave and the Sugar and New Orleans Bowl games.
• When is it on television? Kickoff is scheduled for 8:30 p.m. on Monday, January 9. The game will be televised on ESPN.
• Whom does it feature? The two top-ranked teams in the BCS standings, which you might have heard are from the same conference this year! Did you hear anything about that? Did you? No. 1 LSU and No. 2 Alabama will converge in New Orleans tonight to decide college football’s 2011 champion.
• But didn’t LSU and Alabama already settle this on the field? Sssshhhh.
• But — Ssshhhhh. Look, cute animals!
• Who will call the game? Oh, just about everybody: Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Erin Andrews and Tom Rinaldi (complete with a tinkly piano they’ve had surgically grafted to his torso at great expense) will grace your television screens, with Mike Tirico, Todd Blackledge and Holly Rowe on radio duty.
• Who sponsors the game? This season, title sponsorship rotates to the Allstate insurance company, same as the Sugar Bowl.
• Enough about the football. What about the loot? Supermoms, start preparing for next season: Got one of those kids who just draws on the wall constantly? Have his/her efforts thrown on a cotton-polyester blend T-shirt, and make megabuxxx during bowl season. For LSU partisans, we’re fond of the cutely sinister nature of this here hat.
• What mild indignities/wacky activities will visiting teams be subjected to while in town? Pontiac Game Changing Performance of Bowl Week Press Conferences alert! Alabama’s Christion Jones will ask the questions here.
• Please impart any miscellaneous knowledge you might have concerning the 2012 BCS National Championship Game. It costs approximately one godzillion dollars to bring both the Alabama and LSU bands to this game, and if you’ve ever seen either one perform, you know it’s absolutely worth the effort.
That’s it for us this morning; we’ll reconvene at the Superdome in just a few hours. Stay tuned!