Designated Read: No tripe jokes, please
• Bowltyme! Important takeaways from the first three contests of the college football bowl season: Wyoming fans are people you want to party with. Louisiana fans, even more so. Maybe give Louisiana’s S&C coach a wide berth. Illegal stemming: It’s a thing! Penn Wagers: doin’ Penn Wagers things. A Cowboys extra point attempt very nearly triggered our long-standing “hit both uprights and the crossbar and you win the game” rule. It was the play of the day, until the last play of the night. And I know you’ve found yourselves wondering: Just how are these three contests like artisanal pork products? [Recaps: Temple 37-Wyoming 15; Ohio 24-Utah State 23; Louisiana 32-San Diego State 30]
• A souvenir football on every mantel: In non-FBS goings-on: Mars Hill’s Jonas Randolph is having a pretty good week. Pittsburgh State wins its second DII title in program history. Wisconsin-Whitewater captures a third consecutive Division III national championship. And the States of Sam Houston and North Dakota will vie for the FCS title in January.
• Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Amid speculation he might leave for the Pitt job, Paul Rhoads has re-upped with Iowa State. Reportedly out of the Akron and Southern Miss coaching searches, respectively: Pat Narduzzi and Kirby Smart. And take a minute today to read about the effect outgoing Iowa defensive coordinator Norm Parker had on one former player. And Gary Crowton will do … something … at Maryland.
• Penn State things: Tim Curley and Gary Schulz will stand trial on charges they lied to a grand jury in the Jerry Sandusky investigation. In team news, a locker room scuffle between starting quarterback Matt McGloin and wide receiver Curtis Drake sent McGloin to the hospital. He was released following tests and is present with the team today, but has not been cleared to practice.
• Roster blotter: Draft-bound: Miami’s Brandon Washington and Olivier Vernon. Maybe not draft-bound, unless he is: Stanford’s David DeCastro. Denied a waiver for a sixth year of eligibility: Miami’s Adewale Ojomo. Transferring to Texas A&M: OU’s Brandon Williams. Continuing to pursue his hobby of poor life choices: Purdue’s Dwayne Beckford.
• Monday whimsy: Dana Holgorsen’s looking a little scurvish around the edges down in Florida, you guys. A Houston athletic scholarships foundation has reportedly fallen prey to a Ponzi scheme. Recruiting news counts as whimsy in this space until the bowls are done, but if you live in the state of Alabama this may be relevant to your interests. Not college football news, but runaway golf carts are automatically included in any news roundup. Not football news at all, but important and sporting! Let us never speak of Notre Dame on Ice again. And that is not a very flattering photo of Urban Meyer, but regardless of your personal team allegiances, you have to admire how he’s just crooking a finger at any player he wants.