• On Griffin, on Kuechly, on Bullock, on Claiborne!
SI.com’s 2011 All-America team has been released. Other familiar names on the first team: Ball, Mercilus, Richardson, Blackmon, Woods and Upshaw. (And your eyes do not deceive you: That is Western Kentucky’s Bobby Rainey down there on the second team. Yes, that is well-deserved. No, I did not get to pick this team myself.)
• Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Gus Malzahn, ten pounds of GMOOH in a five-pound bag. Arkansas State is a curious choice of destinations for reasons financial, but not geographical, and will lend credibility to our constant shilling for the Sun Belt. Fresno State is reportedly thisclose to announcing Tim DeRuyter as Pat Hill’s replacement, and UCLA will operate in the two-staff tango.
• O frabjous day! Craig James to cease polluting our airwaves? I knew there’d be a use for this campaign poster someday. If anybody needs me, I’ll be booking a flight to an upcoming town hall meeting to ask him to sign my copy of Swing Your Sword.
• Realignment tidbit, grudgingly dispensed. Navy to the Big East, very eventually!
• Roster blotter. Time to pop open another little hatch on your Maryland Football Transfers Advent Calendar. Two Oklahoma State linemen have been hit with misdemeanor drug charges. Mike Bellamy, suspended for the ACCCG, won’t suit up for Clemson in the Orange Bowl, either.
• Wednesday whimsy. It took me a good second to realize this had nothing to do with football. Michigan’s Sugar Bowl jerseys: Less stripey than the Notre Dame edition! How Oregon benefited from Mark Asper being a foregone conclusion for BYU. This is patently false; as any television announcer will attest, nothing tops a good roommates reference! South Carolina has demoted its compliance director. Former Tennessee standout Jabari Greer has a catchy new slogan for the university’s athletic travails. More like TicketShack, amirite?? I’d start by calling him “bro,” Coach. And this Christmas, give the perfect gift to your favorite troll.